Continuing into a D/s Lifestyle...A Polyamory Household

I’m continuing to write about living and moving from more of a vanilla lifestyle to a one involving Domination and submission. I was looking at the blogs in this series I’ve done over the last few months and I have somewhere in the neighborhood of twenty-five. I think that is a way of showing you just how multi-faceted this lifestyle truly is. I’ve touched on aspects of trust and understanding, patience and discipline, scening and toys. I’ve also touched on the very concept that sometimes respect is lost. And I’ve mentioned sharing and some Dom/Domme’s will allow their submissives to be shared while others have no interest. What if you lived a life in a household with a second submissive? Mmm…

First of all what is a polyamory household? Simply put a polyamory household is one in which more than two people are living together in a living situation sharing not only space and the bills, perhaps child raising and every day life, but also sharing love and sex. These blended families aren’t necessarily ones involving D/s or BDSM or anything other than being in love and becoming a true family together. There are even very special communities where this lifestyle is not only accepted but also encouraged. They are large communities allowing for people to enjoy this without fear of retribution in any way. This is not bigamy by the way. Not at all. For those involved the understanding and love is very strong. They are highly respectful of each other for obvious reasons. As you can imagine there has to be a huge amount of respect given the fact jealousy could destroy everything.

What about in a D/s relationship? Can’t you have two submissives living with one Dom? I would hesitate to even try and imagine a situation with two dominating personalities. Few Dom’s I know are willing to give up their place in the hierarchy of the relationship. But I certainly can see two submissives serving and pleasing one Dom. In fact, I’ve talked to several who live this relationship and are so happy. They feel this is the only way they can live and share their love and life. They are very committed to each other, providing love and support while serving him or her.

For me personally the very thought is daunting. In order for me to submit to a man in my case, becoming a submissive and trusting him enough to give him my body and soul, I would need to feel a strong bonding. In other words I need to love the man first before I can see him as a Dom. I’ve come to realize that as I’ve been talking and learning, my own personal journey. There are varying degrees of love of course, but for me love is vital. I have to be able to give to him unconditionally without any reservation. If there was another woman involved, or even a male submissive, I would know his heart was in two places. There’s nothing wrong with this and we’ve all loved more than one person in our lives, but at the same time? Hmmm…

I decided to explore this a bit more, knowing there are so many who enjoy this and the very aspect has become vital to them and the can’t imagine ever being involved without a third person. Do keep in mind the number isn’t set in stone. There can be more in the household. For this blog I’m simply using the concept of three people sharing. For some they share intimacy together and others this is separated. I know how incredible sharing or a ménage can be. They are beautiful and full of passion and I love writing about them and fantasizing. I honestly think every male and female does. I can imagine the feeling a Dom might have with owning two slaves or submissives. But he also has to have the highest level of respect for both. Simply embracing this must be more than just daunting at times.

For him, the differences in the two women, from where they are in their journey to how they serve him, must be taken into very careful consideration. He has to give them time separately as well as when they are together or he could very easily betray trust and become impatient with one or both. I can only imagine how he handles the aspect of discipline and using them for his own needs. Even moments of shared sexual experiencesare very special and perhaps very difficult at times. We all have fears and concerns. We all long to please and for submissives the very need to give the Dom everything, never disappointing is strong, all consuming. Imagine a second submissive who is also vying for attention and learning to please.

What I have learned is that for most submisives they don’t see another sub as competition. If they do have a jealous bent inside the relationship simply can’t flourish. How can it? You have to put all aspects of your personal concerns aside in order to be the submissive your Dom needs you to be. In other words this is merely another part of your life together. You’re sharing you unconditional love and every aspect of your heart and soul. You’re telling your Dom, he is the most important person in your life. That’s the nature of a D/s relationship, isn’t it? Mmm… That can be a really tough question for some of us. That I know. I know so many involved would have no other manner of life and love. They crave sharing together and for the relationships that work, they truly are amazing.

The stories I’ve heard have been incredible and I’ve had to pause thinking about how special it would be to share my training with another woman who is going through the same thing. For some submissives the ability to talk to others, gain information and simply share their worries and fears is a tremendous gift. If you have this in a household, how special indeed. I open this up to you. Could you do this? Is this something you’ve talked about with your Dom or sub? As a vanilla couple, can you ever envision this happening? Mmm… Tough to answer, isn’t. Let me know what you think.

I hope you’ve enjoyed.

Kisses   xxx

Cassandre