Submitting to a Spanking…Humiliated Affair…Part IV

Spankings and humiliation. They seem to come hand in hand. I honestly grin like a kid when I see how many people really love the concept of being seen and humiliated in a disciplinary kind of situation. Or they simply want to be the voyeur, the basic fly on the wall. Okay, so you know I hold nothing back with regard to my blogs. I love looking at the stats and seeing what people are interested in. Yep. You guessed it. Pretty much if you put the word ‘spanking’ or ‘humiliation’ in any tag line then readers seem to flock to the site. There’s something very sexy about the aspect of losing control, being taken in hand. Don’t you think?

Well, John Patrick and I talk a lot about spankings. We discuss methods and implements, needs and whether or not a regular round of maintenance discipline will re-center me, re-focus. UGH. I do need that a hell of a lot. I have ZERO patience. Mine alwaysGiven he and I have been going through a pretty heady round of angst lately, I was eager to explore the very concept. Punishments are generally private moments shared between a couple. There’s the freedom of being able to do what’s necessary as well as the practicality of keeping the act under cover. Let’s face it. The majority of us really don’t want our neighbors/family/boss/kids/minister knowing what we’re doing behind closed doors. I’m a firm believer that a WHOLE LOT of people are kinkier than we realize, but shoving the lifestyle into anyone’s face just isn’t the best idea. Then why are so many fascinated with seeing another person in a very compromising position? Kinda like the way people react to a wreck on the side of the road. We look. We crane our necks. We want to see what and how bad. Hmmm… I asked John Patrick the question – would he discipline me in front of others if I became particularly rude or misbehaved at a dinner party or a barbeque? His thoughts are that we’d find a private place, the car or a room by ourselves, because it might not just be my ass getting whipped. Shudder.

Let me ask you a question. How far would you go with your partner in public? Would you enjoy being spanked in front of others? Would the slight danger aspect of perhaps being seen by anyone really add spice to the moment? Would you allow yourself to be spanked in a semi-private but very open situation like a public park? Imagine for a minute pulling in to a parking spot in a park. He shuts off the truck and you both get out. Maybe you take a walk to a more secluded location. Then perhaps you’re simply bent over the front of the truck, your skirt lifted and your naked ass whipped for several minutes. Does the thought give you shivers? Now add in the delicious aspect in which you happen to notice out of the corner of your eye a man, walking just close enough you know he could have seen something, your carnal act. What does that do to you? I think for many being caught would seem horrible. For others, just the notion is extremely exciting. What’s your choice? Just a thought I wanted to pose.

This story seems to be resonating with so many and I really appreciate your wonderful comments. I will definitely finish the story. And as you can imagine, lots of sinful words written because of my conversations with John Patrick. Back to the story.

Of course they were both afraid. Drake would have to consider himself an asshole if he wasn’t second-guessing his decision to some degree. This night, the choices he’d made with regard to a public offering, was certainly something out of his comfort zone. The reasons for coming here seemed simple in the beginning. Now? He wasn’t entirely certain he knew what the hell he was doing. Spanking her in front of a litany of strangers? Shit. He had to be nuts, out of his mind. Think. You know why you’re doing this. You know why you want this. He did. This was about breaking down a wall, one she’d built up to the point she continued to lash out, have meltdowns. While he prayed to God he’d made the right choice in coming here tonight, she had to be the one who unlocked the chains wrapped around her like a tight vice. Their recent arguments, the fact the business was tanking had profoundly affected them both. Tonight was all about a new chapter.

“You’re really going to spank me here? You’re going to in front of everyone? I mean…” Kesha’s voice trailed off. When he remained quiet she laughed nervously. “You are. You’re going to whip me right here.”

“Yes. This is something you need, for you. For us. Do you understand why?”

“But…” She groaned and nibbled on her bottom lip. Seconds later she groaned. “You’re pushing my boundaries.”

Submissives SentimentsDrake smiled as he studied Kesha’s face, enjoying the way she was thrown off center. Of course she was having difficulty in accepting what she was seeing, given the fact he’d never even attempted to do anything this provocative. He squeezed her neck and could tell the action calmed her. She craved focus, needed the re-centering his authority gave her. He was learning. There were days he had such difficulty, unsure of his most basic decisions. Tonight he was making his move, becoming her Dominant. This was an important step in their journey. This was about absolute trust for both of them. “Yes.”

“Mmm…” As a crackle of heat lightning pulsed in the distance she tipped her head. “This is your fantasy.”

“Something I’ve craved, yes,” Drake said quietly. He watched the scattering of electricity spark across the horizon and sighed. He studied the cross, the way the girl’s hair flowed in the soft breeze, and for a few seconds he was jealous, envious of the obvious closeness the couple had. He was more determined than every to grab ahold of the same intensity. He wanted nothing more than for them to be as one, know each other’s thoughts, completely able to embrace moods as well as cravings.

She took a step forward, moving to the outer perimeter of the group watching the action.

For a few seconds Drake was mesmerized, seeing her as if for the first time. She was dazzling in her sophisticated beauty and he as so proud to have her by his side. “Did you hear me, my sweet submissive?”

Shivering, her hand fluttered over her mouth, her fingers sliding back and forth across her lips. “I… Yes sir.” Her voice was barely audible.

Her utter vulnerability touched him and as he pushed her further forward he could swear he heart her rapid heartbeat. “What do you think? Do you believe she deserves her punishment?”

Crack! Slap!

“Oh!” Kesha jumped when the hard slap was issued across the back of the girl’s thighs.

“Does she?”


He released her neck and patted her on the ass. “Good girl. She does just as you do.”

“Yes,” she breathed. “I mean yes, sir.”

Even in the dim lighting, the warm glow of the torches illuminating her face, he could see the mixture of trepidation and excitement. She loved to be pushed out of her comfort zone, taken just to the edge of her limits. They’d talked for hours about what she wanted, her growing needs. She was a woman who was fearless in business, taking no prisoners when it came to the assholes she was forced to deal with. The woman was tenacious and brutal, but always fair. Her words could cut through the Internet and when she walked into a room, she didn’t have to demand attention. She quietly took control. Tonight she was his submissive in every sense of the word and he was going to be her leader, a man taking care of her every need.

“She deserves the punishment. She realizes the discipline is exactly the right choice. And what you can tell by her reaction is that she decided on tonight. She begged for the whipping. She trusts her Dom enough. This is everything I long for.” Kesha’s smile was radiant.

Her words were fascinating and very calculated. They were also stilling to him. “You’re very right. Trust. Do you trust me?”

“In all things,” she whispered.

“I need you to answer me a question with total honesty. Can you do that?”

A slight snort slipped from her lips. “Yes sir of course.”

Crack! Slap!

The girl squealed, the sound of the chains holding her in her place clanging against the cross as she struggled.

“Are you ready to take another step, a leap of faith?” He knew Kesha was watching every hard strike, calculating what would happen, perhaps how many whips she would receive.

“Without a doubt.”

Drake exhaled slowly, his nerves on edge. He wanted to show her off, to have every submitting in redother man and women in the room truly understand what they shared, the joy and the passion that had completely altered a dying relationship. Tonight was about taking them both to a heightened level, a move they might never repeat, but one he felt necessary in their life. Could she let go completely? Could she allow this very moment to happen? He loved the pensive look riding her face, one that told him how much she was relishing in the vision. “Are you certain?”

A smile creeping to the corner of her mouth she leaned back against his chest. “More than you know. This is special. I want to give you all of me tonight.”

Kissing the top of her head he studied the way the man was using the whip, the almost perfect snap of his wrist. “He’s a Master. One day I hope to be that good wielding a whip, to give you a true sense of something you’re pining away for.”

“And you will be. There is no doubt. You know me so well. That’s one reason I’m more than ready to give you all of me.”

Her utter confidence in him was amazing. His cock aching, he wanted nothing more than to take her right here, but tonight wasn’t about sex. Tonight was about breaking free. “I do know you very well. And all of you. I love hearing the words.”

“God, I love you, my Sir. I love the way you treat me. Use me. I love being your submissive. I adore pleasing you, giving you everything you crave.” Kesha purred as she swayed from side to side.

“You do every day.”

“Not enough.”

He moved to her side, tipping his head slightly. “Kesha, tell me what you want.”

Whoosh! Pop! Crack!

She reacted every time the girl was whipped, her facial expressions mirroring a submissive woman receiving the discipline, a slice of raw emotion, demanding sensations evident. Giving him a quick look she licked her ruby stained lips. “In truth?”

“Always truthful my love.” Drake rubbed his hand down the length of her spine, tapping his fingers on the small of her back. With every touch, every gentle reminder, she responded by nestling closer to him. He was her protector and yes, he was very possessive. There would be no other man in her life. And the predators, those hell bent on having a taste of a woman who belonged to him, were never going to touch her. Period.

“I’m amazed. I’m terrified. I’m hungry.” She laughed, the sound of her sultry lilt floating into the air. “I want nothing more than to please you.”

“You do every day.”

He Takes MeThe look on her face was one of defiance. “But I want more for you and for us.”

“So do I.” He did more than anything.

Several guests turned toward them, their looks curious. Drake could tell the Master of the evening was watching, his look one of growing curiosity. The event had been well planned, yet he remained nervous. There was a catch, one he might regret. The single nod from the man remaining hidden behind the mask was a subtle yet powerful reminder. The show was set in motion. “My gorgeous submissive.” He waited until the girl was released, her Master gathering her into his arms, before he nudged her closer to the cross. His heart was racing, his blood pressure rising.

“They’re all moving away,” Kesha whispered.

“Yes, and you’re garnered the attention of our hosts.”

“Why are they masked?”

“We all hide behind something. Don’t we?”

She shook her head. “Yes sir, my cryptic Dom.”

Now he laughed as he turned her around. Cupping her chin he lowered his head, brushing his lips across hers. She remained nervous, her breathing rattled. He kissed her passionately, his tongue intertwining with hers. The moment he wrapped his arm around her, digging his fingers into her back, she relaxed, a single moan pushing past the kiss. When he released her he rubbed his thumb across her lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, sir.”

“Good. Then remove your clothes.” Drake wasn’t certain how she’d react or if she could tolerate the command. When she nodded and took a step back, his eyes remaining on his, he held his breath. The moment she untied the single sash he shivered.

Mmm… What do you think? Could you do this? Let me know your thoughts.

Kisses and spanks…


Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Submitting to a Spanking…Humiliated Affair…Part III

Well it’s been a beautiful few days here in lovely VA. I truly love spring and we just had winter end – as in literally. There’s nothing like being able to write outside, enjoying a little drink and listening to the birds singing. I’ve also been doing a heck of a lot of reflecting lately. There’s so much to reflect on. I continue to read articles on Domination and submission. John Patrick turned me onto an amazing site and I’m reading articles that are extremely well written. I think many of you will roll your eyes wondering why people learn about kink. D/s isn’t just kink. Let’s get something straight for any of you naysayers left youAbsolute Power read my blog. Are you there?

Living or playing in any alternative lifestyle has several elements. Everyone has to live what some call a vanilla life at least to some degree unless you’re living in a cave or commune in which you aren’t required to interact outside. We have to work, enjoy family and friends. We pay bills and go to weddings and funerals. We have lunch and enjoy vacations. We have a home to keep up, dogs to play with and chores to do. In other words people involved in kink are very much regular plain ole people. And NO, there aren’t dungeons in our basements pretty much the majority of the time. Do some of us have playrooms and spanking benches? Sure – IF you can afford them. I certainly can’t and don’t. I started this journey reading and learning for my writing. Then something amazing happened. I realized and embraced the fact I’m a submissive – but that doesn’t change the woman I am.

I’m powerful in business. I command a room. I will tell you my beliefs period. And I have no issue raging against the machine. I’m also a submissive woman who finally understands a side of her that always existed, but was never allowed out of the padlocked box to play. John Patrick and I talk about this all the time – a journey. We are traveling something that can’t be learning in a short period of time. We are opening up slowly through conversations and in doing so are becoming uninhibited. Notice the process here. He isn’t just my Dom and wasn’t in the beginning at all. We’re friends and started talking. The desire and the realization of our needs have been there for a little while – but connecting in a way in which you can move forward into something more than talking? Well, that takes a lot of time. We have issues and worries and sometimes they are very trying. But we learn and for me, I so savor everything we talk about.

We’re exploring certain aspects of kink through conversations. Humiliation did come up given the fact so many people seem to be VERY interested in the concept. I’m not entirely certain why, except for the fact there’s a little danger in the aspect. With humiliation comes voyeurism. John Patrick asked me if I’m interested in being humiliated. I think for every one of us there’s a very personal moment where our limits collide with our desires to try something out of our comfort zone. For me, this is very much one of those edge busters. We’ll see as time goes on how much I either want or crave of this. I have personal limits and I have those brought on by my requirement to live in a vanilla laced world. Just the facts. Writing erotica is already sliding close to the edge of what most people can or will accept as the norm. Being involved in a lifestyle the majority of people don’t ‘get’? Hmm… But I keep learning. Back to the story and one that is resonating with many people. Thank you for much for enjoying and let me know what you think.

Kesha had to admit that Drake managed to shock her. He was a planner, a plotter almost all the time. Her husband’s need for control had always been evident, he I will obey you sirsimply embraced the fact he was a true Dominant in all aspects pretty much just… Today. She smiled at the thought. This was a wowing moment.

“You’re a very bad girl,” Drake eased his hand from her pussy, slipping his fingers inside his mouth.

The sound of his sucking, the look on his face and the realization they could be caught in a single moment of humiliation was just about the most enticing thing. She leaned her head against the elevator wall and wanted nothing more than to drop to her knees and suck his cock. “And you love that about me.”


As the elevator doors opened she halfway expected a group of gawking guests would have admonishing looks, given their rather teenage like behavior. The empty hallway allowed her to breathe a sigh of relief.

He chuckled as he licked the last of her cream off of his fingers. “Tasty.” Nodding toward the hallway he gave her a look, one that was commanding in its own right.

“May I ask where we’re going?”

Drake tapped her on the ass as he gripped her arm.

“I mean sir.” She could tell he wasn’t playing tonight. He was in what she called full ‘Dom mode’ and she was tingling because of the notion alone. He’d been so authoritative all day long, stating what would happen instead of making suggestions. His attitude as well as his behavior had changed. She was weak with desire, longing to please him, serve him. The entire thought process had her in a type of suspended animation. How had this suddenly happened?

“Better. You have to learn to trust me more, Kesha. I will never try and hurt you or put you in a situation in which you could be harmed. If we don’t have that level of trust then we have nothing and should end this now.”

He pushed them out into the hallway and she shivered hearing the words. “I trust you completely. Totally. You don’t see that within me?”

“This is a journey remember.”

“But you’re saying that as if I don’t have faith you. I’ve known you for twenty-two years. How could I not trust you? I just question things. I just worry.” I’m just a girl concerned you’re never going to accept the real me. She heard the odd sound in the tone of her voice, the way the words were said with just enough edge he was understandably irritated. The moment he pulled her against his chest, his fingers digging into her arms, she knew she’d crossed a line – but not just about her place. She’d dug at a scab he’d been having difficulty with since the very moment they’d opened up about their respective needs. She winced, anticipating a quiet round of discipline. When he pushed her against the wall, lifting and pressing her arms up and over her head, she was surprised seeing his eyes.

“My point.”

Kesha shook her head. “I was just expressing a concern.”

“Some time tomorrow I want you to tell me the difference in concern and trust.”

My God. This was so difficult, so eye opening. During their traveling into the lifestyle she’d been forced to question every aspect of her very being from the beginning of her need to dominate pretty much the world. In seeing her husband in an entirely different way, one that she would never have expected, she was opening the final lock to her soul. And she was utterly and totally terrified of what was inside, of what he would see and perhaps absolutely loathe. “I express concerns because I’m not certain what to do. I’m unbalanced in my needs, my understanding of us. I’m just…” Tears were in her eyes as the realization hit her. She was terrified of losing him. There was no other way of putting the way she felt. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Drake’s eyes opened up wide. For a few seconds he remained quiet. “You’re not going to lose me. There is no way I’m going to allow what we have to disappear. You have to trust me on this more than any other aspect of your life.”

“I do.”

“I’m not certain that you do.”

“When I say these words you have to believe me. I’m raw inside, worried and frustrated with myself. But I love you and I need you to know I’m finally breaking free,” Kesha whispered, but the strong conviction in her heart was beating to the point she was breathless. Every day, every new experience was freeing.

“This is our journey together.” Drake leaned in close, his body crushing hers. “I’m not perfect at this. I’ll make mistakes. I’m learning just like you are.”

“I know that. I’m not questioning you at all.”

“I think you are. I think your ability to confide in me is in question.”

“No, it’s not. Not at all. This is more about questioning me.” Kesha was surprised hearing the edge in his voice. She wanted nothing more than to let go completely, giveA submissive is completely free him the reins in every way, but her willful side was having difficulty. There had never been anyone in her life she’d allowed even a single concept of full trust. None. How many people had challenged her, pushed her to a point she couldn’t believe in her natural instinct about people any longer. But she knew in her heart she trusted him more than any other soul in her life.

Drake kissed her softly then immediately pulled back. “That I can understand but I hope in time your concerns will modify.”

“Every day I change as you do. The way we’re moving into such an incredible new passage in our relationship is eye opening. But I still…”

“You’re afraid.”

“A little.”

“Understandable.” He kissed her lips. “Are you okay?”

A wave of peace swept over her. “I’m more than okay.”

“Good. Tonight we have fun in a way in which you’re not used to.” Drake cupped both sides of her face. He traced a circle around her lips before pulling back. “Come with me.”

They both remained silent as he led her down the hallway to a room at the end of the corridor. She knew the hotel well enough to realize the door lead to a suite, a corner room with sweeping views and expansive luxuries. The top floor was booked and used by dignitaries and celebrities. And she had to wonder who was inside.

A quick knock and almost instantly the door was opened.

“What you’re going to find inside just might surprise you,” Drake breathed into her ear.

She loved the rather clandestine approach, the understanding of not knowing what was going to happen. The moment they were led into the room she was shocked at the normality of their actions. People were milling about enjoying drinks and conversations. Almost everyone was dressed in evening attire as if they were merely going out for the evening to a festive occasion. The atmosphere was jazzed but there were no signs of anything relate to BDSM. Somehow she could tell there was more going on behind the scenes.
“You’re surprised?” Drake asked as he nodded to the door attendant and led them into the room.

“I…” Kesha laughed nervously and looked down at her flaming red silk. He’d been very purposeful in his decision on what she was going to wear, something he rarely did. Now she knew why. “Yes. I have to admit I am.”

“Good. I like to keep you guessing. Let’s grab a drink.”

As he walked them toward a small but rather impressive looking bar nestled in the corner, she studied the guests, recognizing several. This was more than just unexpected. There were attorneys and judges, women who owned businesses and others who were well known in the community. “Wow.”

“Yes. They’re al enjoying the need for something out of the normal,” Drake said as he rubbed her back.

“Why are we here again?”

Drake gave her a sideways glance as the approached the bar. “Two cabernets.”

“Yes, sir.” The bartender didn’t look, barely acknowledged their presence.

He turned toward her and wrapped his arm around her waist. “Why?”

“Yes,” Kesha managed.

“Take a look outside at the balcony. What do you see?”

Her attention drawn to the expansive space, she narrowed her eyes and tried to hone in on what she could tell was some level of activity occurring. Torches and candles were lit in every corner, their wicks flickering in the wind, the effect eerie. In the luminescent light she could see there were several people on the balcony. The area wrapped around the three-sided room, the space able to accommodate at least a hundred people. “I’m not sure what you’re asking.

Nibbling on her ear he eased his hand to her waist, kneading her side as he pushed them both toward the window. “Try again.”

Kesha palmed the glass and had to blink several times in order to focus. There were at least three ‘X’ crosses adorning the balcony. “Oh my God.”

“Thirty floors above the din of the world and people are being disciplined. Do you see them? Do you know what’s happening?”

“Yes, I…”

“Tell me what you see. Tell me what you’re thinking. Tell me what you want, what you crave.” His voice was soft but commanding.

There wasn’t a part of her that wasn’t shaking and the raw emotions soaring through every cell in her body. “I see women letting go.”


“I see passion and…”

“And?” he implored.

“I see complete freedom, unbridled passion.”

“Good. And tell me what you want?”

Kesha moaned softly as she patted the glass. She could see a girl, one who was naked and tied to the closest cross being whipped, and there wasn’t a part of her that wasn’t tingling all over. Her breath skipped, her heart racing to the point echoes were bouncing in her ears.

“Tell me.”

The way his groin was moving back and forth, his cock grinding into her ass left her breathless. “I want…” Oh God. What did she want?


She didn’t need to hear the sound of the whip to know the girl was in delicious anguish. “Jesus.”

“Tell me.”

The command in his voice, his mannerisms were more evident and she didn’t want to disobey him. For a few seconds there she couldn’t breathe, was unable to thinkRed Heat clearly.


The woman flinched, her body jerking back from the cross. God. Yes. Yes. She was… “I want to be there, be the woman tied and disciplined. I need to be punished for all my sins. I need to show you how devoted I am.” Every time the girl was whipped she was drawn further into the moment.

“Mmm…” Drake bit down on her neck then pulled her away from the window.

Kesha exhaled as she was led back to the bar and a few seconds later she realized she had a glass of wine in her hand.

“Drink my darling. Tonight is merely an adventure.” Drake tipped his glass.

As they toasted she swooned, her stomach lurching. The sip was worth savoring, the wine giving her a needed jolt of courage. Courage. Why? For some reason she remained uncertain.

Drake led them through the crowd, acknowledging only a few of those who turned to admire the stunning couple. “They see you and hunger for you.”

“They hunger for us.”

Laughing, he tapped her behind. “You’re right.” Every move was directed and he led them to the door leading to the deck. “I want you to see, to experience what will be.”

Holding her breath she attempted to drink in every sight, every sound as she was guided outside. The warm breeze was welcome given the very humid day. The group of people seemed enthralled by the level of activity, their attention completely drawn to the submissive in front of them being punished. What will be. The words lingered in her mind, the meaning clear.

“See how she reacts. Can you tell how much she’s enjoying her punishment?” Drake asked quietly as he led them to the fourth girl being whipped, the very one Kesha had been watching.

“Yes, sir I…” Her words continued to trail off. She was nervous yet titillated over the site.

“Oh!” the girl yelped as several additional strikes were issued.

With every slice of the whip, every whooshing sound she shivered. Her skin clammy, she licked the single bead of perspiration from her upper lip and crowded next to him.

Drake moved his hand under her dress, tapping his fingers on her ass cheeks. “A needed whipping.”

“Yes sir.”

“One you need.”

“Yes sir.”

He eased his hand around her neck, holding her tightly and walking them forward. “And one you’re going to receive right here.”

Well, what do you think? Should he whip her in front of everyone?

Kisses and spanks


Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Submitting to a Spanking…Humiliated Affair…Part II

You know what I find so interesting? The fact that both John Patrick and I are taking our journey into D/s so seriously is something I really hadn’t realized how much I appreciate. I also made the connection that in both of us doing so the trust we’re building is growing exponentially. We’re both very good at communicating with each other, an attribute that is vital to our growth. We honestly love talking about anything and everything. Granted, there are going to be times the discussions take an odd turn or effects one more than the other. That happened against last night. Very often texting just isn’t the way to have a discussion and especially when time isHands cuffed limited, but it happens. Both he and I are vulnerable about certain aspects, including things about our past. You learn as you grow and that’s very much okay. As long as you keep talking you’re going to be just fine. No matter how uncomfortable the issue might be, remember there are two souls involved. Give yourselves a break at times too.

Today is just a little bit more on the lighter side. He asked me yesterday (having read my blog) if I was interested in any aspect of humiliation. I wasn’t certain how to answer him at first but did say I had noticed how many other people were into the concept given the particular hits I received on various blogs. ANY time I mention humiliation people read time and time again. The Submitting to a Spanking story – Distinguished Humiliation – WOW how many more are selling than the others in the series. I also noticed that any blog mentioning the very concept is looked at and read more often – no matter how many months have gone by.

John Patrick knows me very well already. He realizes I have certain points of interest as well as excitement. He also knows I tend to rage hard against the machine if I don’t like or can barely tolerate something. That’s my nature. Yes, he’s trying very hard in his training with me to show me I can be patient (UGH), but its tough right now. In answering his question about humiliation I really had to think about this girl inside, the one who will forever remain anxious with certain aspects of herself. I don’t think I want anyone to see me in a certain light. Being humiliated has various degrees. Yes, if John Patrick spanks me fully clothed either in privacy or in a playtime situation, that’s certainly different than if he required me to strip naked and did the same.

He and I were talking about this and being completely naked as you receive discipline is very humbling. For me, the notion alone stills me. His thoughts are that the concept brings you out of your comfort zone. You’re no longer able to hold on to a particular vanilla side of your life (clothes + jewelry = safety and clout). You’re reduced to the person you were at birth. This is another area where complete trust comes into play.

He believes I should be punished completely naked – as time and space allow. I’ve told him the experience of being spanked like a bad girl is a wonderful reminder that I need to obey. Don’t get me wrong – spankings are meant to hurt and they do. I bruise. I ache for a couple of days. I don’t like disappointing him. He’s my Sir and the concept of him having to do such an act – whew. Shivers. But I know I’m going to receive many a spanking during our journey. I embrace his patience with me more than you know. Would he do this in front of others? Hmmm… There are varying degrees remember of this. Spanking me over my clothes? I have no doubt right now he would. Requiring I remove my clothes? I…don’t know. My honest guess is he wouldn’t go that far – touching a potential limit this soon. I might be wrong. Remember journey…

What I continue to realize is how much we both have to learn, how many avenues there are to gain information. What might be the most profound aspect is that what I believed even three months ago about D/s is completely different than I do today. And why? Every time John Patrick and I talk, every moment we share and open up more, the trust is morphing and growing. His honestly allows me to open up and vice versa. Communication is vital in any relationship. In D/s? A must. Could I enjoy some level of humiliation? Probably. But… I could never have before. The way John Patrick and I are is damn amazing. If you or your partner are considering, talk and let everything go. You have to be free and open. Hmmm… This is an edgy moment, for some pushing hard against basic limits. You have to talk and find out. Can this be sexy as hell? You bet. Talk. Never stop talking. So our couple may just have to push hard against their personal limits. We shall see…

“What we know, Mr. Thompson, is that your firm buys and sells companies as if the people involved, the clients who count on the company don’t matter. You ceremoniously go in and rip apart the very heart of the organization. Your methods are cut throat and they destroy people.” Kesha rose to her feet, a look of utter disgust riding her face.

While Drake knew he should stop her, remind her the meeting wasn’t going well at all, he had to admire the woman he’d married. She was a freaking balls to the walls kind of gal. The single reason they’d taken a lion’s share of the market had been Leaving marksbecause of her tenacity, her ability to capture and lock down a deal once he brought it to the table. A smile crossed his face as she sauntered toward the rather terse opponent. The guy had no clue what to make of her. This should be good. His dazzling wife was just getting started.

“I don’t think you have any room to object. The deal is fair.” Mr. Thompson merely looked out the window.

A trickle of sweat. Drake could barley contain laughter.

Kesha smiled as she closed the distance, opening her legs and folding her arms. “Mr. Thompson. Allow me to explain what’s going to happen here.”

Mr. Thompson narrowed his eyes, the look nasty and undermining. “Ms. O ‘Neil I…”

“That’s Mrs.” Kesha corrected. “But I’m not certain you have any clue who I am or who my employees are anyway. Do you?”

Nervous titillation filtered throughout the room.

Go girl. “Kesha. Let’s try and remember we’re all working together here,” Drake cautioned. He bit back heavy-handed laughter. She knew his tone well, the one that pushed her to be the best she could be.

“Oh I remember. The concept is called respect. Decorum. Something this man has none of.” Her eyes flashed.

“How dare you, Mrs. O ‘Neil. You don’t seem to understand what’s at stake here,” Mr. Thompson hissed through clenched teeth.

Kesha smiled then licked her lips in an exaggerated fashion. “Trust me. I do.”

Pushing both of his hands on top of the desk, Mr. Thompson rose to his feet. For a full minute he merely glared at her. When he spoke his voice was cold, the calculation clear. “Ms. O ‘Neil. Allow me to make myself perfectly clear. I will have your company, whether tonight or next week, or even next year. You see I tend to get what I want. Period.” He stopped, a self-satisfying grin crossing his face. “I think we both know what we need to do.” Sliding a group of papers across the table he kept his gaze locked on her. “I suggest you sign them and end the bloodshed.”

A full two minutes ticked by.

“The offer is sweet. I will admit that. However, I’m no longer interested.” Her voice was clear.

A collective gasp settled in the room.

“I beg your pardon?” Mr. Thompson managed.

“Yes,” she breathed. “To that end, we’re pulling back from this deal. Period. Our company is no longer for sale. Excuse me. Takeover.”

“You can’t do that.” The hiss was now a growl.

“I just did.” Kesha took two strides backward and nodded to Drake.

“I’ll ruin you.” Mr. Thompson was shaking.

This time her eyes flashed a look that seemed to stun the entire room. Even Drake felt a chill. Whew. The woman was on fire today.

Kesha inhaled deeply, allowing a full minute to pass by before she spoke. “Mr. Thompson. I suggest if you want to play in shark-infested waters you bring more that a rubber raft to the party. And you know why?” The question lingered in the air.

Legs BoundDrake could hear the entire room craning their necks, trying to capture every word.

“Because the water is going get bloody. Very bloody. You see…” Her words trailed off as she tilted her head. “I’m extremely hungry.”

There were no sounds as she left the room, but the silence screamed victory.


“Did you hear what she said?”

Drake studied the firm’s accountant. While the Mike was usually never animated, tonight he was unable to rein in the creative comments. The crowd gathered around him was hanging on every word, their excitement evident in the over indulgence with alcohol, their boisterous actions.

Mike took a swig of his drink then wiped his mouth. “The water is going to get bloody cause she’s hungry. Holy fuck!”

“Good for her.”

“I’m glad she took a stand. Finally.”

For some reason Drake wanted to interrupt the male banter. There was no ‘finally’ anything about Kesha. She’d been more of the backbone in the company than he had for years. He’d faced that ugly demon only months before. Well, no more. He’d taken a strong stand with her both within the company and behind closed doors. He took pride in the fact she was growing stronger.

At that moment Kesha glided into the room. He could tell all eyes were on her. Another realization of his utter pride settled in. The reception was originally about a celebration of sorts, combining two companies together. Given her kiss off, this was a festive occasion for something else entirely – a resurgence. Drake only hoped their doors would still be open in six months. He sighed. One way or the other they’d find a way. Her impetuous decision had been curiously pleasing.

She nodded to everyone, giving subtle acknowledgement as she moved closer, her eyes never leaving his. As she approached she kept her hand on the choker necklace he’d purchased for her only weeks before. The piece was symbolic and one she rarely wore. Why tonight was curious but pleasing.

Drake remained quiet as he sipped his drink, relishing the way the aged scotch tickled the back of his throat. After swallowing he swirled the glass, concentrating on the ‘tink’ sound the ice crystals made as they hit the crystal.

When she closed the distance she smiled seductively. “I’ve missed you.”

“I was beginning to wonder where you were, if you were going to disobey me,” Drake whispered as he reached out his hand, fingering her arm. As goose bumps popped across her skin he drank in her perfume. “You look radiant tonight.”

“I’m glad you think so. I wanted to look especially beautiful for you.” Her words were coy but her eyes were full of mischief. “And I wasn’t planning on disobeying you.”

“You accomplished your task, my sexy submissive.” He kept his voice low, knowing all eyes and ears were on them.

“Mmm… Good. I must admit, getting away from the phone this afternoon was difficult. The vultures are swarming.”

“I’m certain they are. After your performance they would be.” He smiled as he thought about the private party they were going to, one located in this very hotel. She would certainly be enthralled as well as taken aback.

“You aren’t angry, are you?”

“Of course not. You took a stand. The deal was sour.”

Kesha nibbled on her bottom lip. “I don’t like the man nor do I trust him. He’s like an evil monster.”

“He is certainly an interesting character. But remember darling, we all have two sides.” Flicking the small lock nestled in the center of her collar he couldn’t help but grin. The blush creeping up from her neck was endearing. “Don’t you, my lovely submissive?”

She wiggled and lowered her eyes, the act out of respect. “Yes sir.”

“An observation.”

“Yes sir?”

“The whipping certainly centered you today. We’re going to continue regular maintenance spankings, something you’ve needed for a long time.” He wrapped his hand around her throat, squeezing with just enough pressure her eyes opened wide.I am totally His

“My sir knows best.”

“Yes, I do.” Drake looked around the room. “Make your rounds my lovely submissive.”

“Yes I will. I see our guest of honor isn’t attending tonight. What a shame.”

“Very funny my dear. I think he’s curled up next to a bottle, trying to regain his masculinity,” Drake said as he laughed.

Her look full of contempt, she raised a single eyebrow. “What a shame.”

“Go my pet before I spank you. We have another event to go to.”


“Yes, one I think you’ll enjoy.” He kept his hold around her neck as he brought her forward. “And you’re going to obey me tonight.” Brushing his lips across hers he darted out his tongue, slipping the tip just inside her mouth. The taste of her was always sweet but tonight, even more so.

Kesha gripped his arm, a single moan pushing past her lips.

“Get a room,” Mike chortled as he flanked their sides.

Unfettered, Drake kept his hold, tilting back her head. Crushing her mouth he kissed her passionately, their tongues entwining. They almost never allowed a moment of public display, preferring to keep their private life away from prying eyes. Tonight, many aspects were different and he didn’t mind allowing a few select members of their staff to understand the team had changed. Drake was now in charge.

Her body shook as the kiss continued, her nails digging into his skin. When he released her she blinked several times. “Sir.”

He knew the word was said involuntarily. Whether or not Mike or anyone else heard, he no longer cared about. “Go. We leave in fifteen minutes.” Turning toward Mike he nodded. “No doubt we will.

Fifteen minutes on the dot they were headed out of the small ballroom. He kept her close, his arm wrapped around her waist. Tonight was just another chapter in their journey, one in which he knew would alter certain aspects of their relationship.

“You know there’s going to be talk,” Kesha whispered as she intertwined their fingers.

“Let them. About time they see more of our strength together.”

“You mean your utter domination of me.”

“That too,” Drake stated. He kept his tone authoritative.

With her usual mannerisms she tried to take the lead, her long legs taking strides toward the exit of the hotel.

His grip tightening he stopped their progression. “You aren’t in control here. Remember?”

“Yes sir I…” The moment seemed to catch her off guard.

“Tonight you’re going to learn you will no longer being the top in any aspect of our relationship, neither in business nor in pleasure. Am I being very clear?”

“Yes Sir. Very…clear.”

“Good.” Kissing the top of her head, he breathed in and allowed the moment to settle in before he turned them both toward the elevator. As soon as he pressed the button he could hear a tiny gasp. She hated being out of control in almost every aspect. He was surprised she remained quiet as they waited. When the doors opened and she waited, he was surprised. “Good girl.”

“Yes sir.”

Guiding her inside the empty space, he waited until the doors were closed then pushed her back against the cold steel. Drake hovered over her, tracing her mouth with the tip of his index finger. “Tonight you’re going to become all mine. Do you understand?”

“Yes sir.”

He thrust his finger inside her mouth as he slipped his other hand inside the bodice of her dress, cupping and squeezing her breast.

“Mmmm…” Shivering, Kesha arched her back slightly and closed her eyes as she sucked on his finger, her tongue dragging back and forth across his skin.

He yanked the thin material aside and pinched her nipple, twisting the tender flesh. This was defining. As the elevator rattled to its destination he lowered his head, taking her hardened bud into his mouth.

She sucked feverishly as she pressed her hand against his chest.

Biting down, he relished in the sound of her hint of pain. He was on fire, electrified from the understanding she was letting go, giving him the reins for the first time.

Moving her hand down to his groin she caressed his cock through the dense material of his slacks as her moans became pants of need.

His cock throbbed, his lust increasing. He eased his hand under the hem of her dress, sliding his finger past the thin elastic of her thong. The moment he touched her pussy she jumped. God he had to have this woman. His woman. His submissive.


Yeah, I know. I left you in a bit of a lurch, didn’t I? Well, there’s always tomorrow…

Kisses and spanks…


Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Submitting to a Spanking…Humiliated Affair…Part One

I can’t tell you how much I enjoy talking with John Patrick. Have you guessed that as of yet? We always have the most interesting conversations. There is something very calming about him, the way he talks to me, as well as his gentle guidance of every step of our journey together. Yet I can tell you I’ve seen his other sides – and there are multiples. He is a man who plans out EVERYTHING. And in truth ladies – that’s amazing in such a good way. His personal learning process is more than two fold – he thinks, listens, tries to place himself into the situation, asks me my thoughts, then determines what if anything might work. As he and I talk aboutThe Taste – this is our journey together. There are no rules per say. There are no have to’s. Meaning – for him or the actual journey. While I have rules, they are created on as situations arise. Yes, he has a hint of frustration that’s moved into a tough of anger with regard to me during bouts of misconnection. I do tend to bring that out. I’m not trying to push against him all the time – just the nature of the woman inside.

In learning and sharing, both he and I realize how special it is that we’ve found each other. To think we can share this incredible lifestyle is… Yes, I can still sigh like a teenager. He just does that to me. I also tingle and swoon, lust and hunger, and long to be completely devoted in every aspect. A pretty WOW moment for this chick. That I can tell you.

We had a conversation today about whether a Dom could teach a Dom and about the concept and levels of respect with regards to being in public. Of course I’m interested in what he wants, what his needs are in every area of our growing relationship. He asked me about what my thoughts are when I meet another Dom/Master. How would I act? I said I would respect the person, be submissive in a way, but that I was John Patrick’s submissive period.

Evidently he had a conversation in which they discussion was based on one Dom teaching another. His beliefs are that there is no way one can truly teach another – the journey is completely personal between a submissive and the Dom. I countered to a point (yes he allows me to do this) and said you can always learn no matter what situation. My thoughts are that in sharing together you could glean certain understanding more than anything. While he agreed, he is firm in his belief he will never call another man a Master. I grinned when he said this. He longs to be not just my Dom, but my Master as well. As John Patrick has always told me – this is a marathon, not a sprint. Or in my words – the journey of a lifetime.

I was thinking as I drove home today (the big brain effect as he calls this) about my role in not only supporting my Sir in our public affairs, but also respecting the understanding of D/s and making certain others knew I belonged to John Patrick. So much of this will mean keeping my mouth in check. HA. You all know me very well. I will say pretty much what I want to, although I’m learning my place with him. I feel a lot of moments in time out as well as pretty hefty spankings. You know what? I need them. What’s so amazing about the times we share is that he is really learning about the woman inside – all the good and bad. There’s never been another time I simply don’t hold anything back. Remember those highs and lows I’ve talked about a few times? Why the highs are outrageous and A moment of being histhe lows utterly – ugh. I never want to disappoint him. That’s new for me. I NEVER allow anyone in this much. There are certain aspects within the BDSM community in how the submissive acts, the Dom acts etc. What John Patrick said was that he was going to probably push against the machine. That’s my Sir. And I managed to slip into the vanilla girl tonight and no matter I was playing I hurt him. I showed disrespect. Perhaps grounds for humiliation. I don’t know. What I do know is that even in my playing I feel terrible right now. UGH. Another step. Another thought in the journey. Another lesson. He believes when I don’t question him back about EVERYTHING I’m learning to trust him. I’m really thinking about this. I am the kind of woman who does tend to ask a lot of questions. When he said this I was like…hmmm… Yes, I guess levels of trust increase through time. I do trust him and I believe implicitly, but perhaps I’m holding back naturally a little. When the final wall is broken through then I’m certain I will take what he says without questions. Interesting his thinking.

Going back to the scenario of being around other people in the lifestyle together. What if the submissive wasn’t a good girl? What if she didn’t respect the members of the scenario? There’s an interesting trend in writing the spanking pieces as well as the D/s ones. The spanking story that touched on humiliation REALLY sold off the chain. Are you trying to tell me people long to be humiliated or see those in a difficult situation get theirs? My guess is – you bet. We’ve talked about concepts of humiliation, from being naked when being punished to certain aspects of public display. The concept will be different for every couple, but as you can imagine pretty humbling. I don’t know what will happen between us and whether he’ll ever spank me in public. What I do believe is that he won’t allow anyone else to do so. So…I’m doing one more sexy little story about the subject. Do I think John Patrick would humiliate me behind closed doors? You bet. In public? Hmmmm… TBD… See what you think about a very public affair. 

Kesha O’ Neil was in one pissed off mood. Every day of the last few weeks had been difficult. She was having difficulty keeping the fact her company was going under – hook, line and sinker – so damn fast. Years of scraping by, of doing without might go up in a poof of nothing. She stood in her expansive office glaring out the window. As she folded her arms she realized she’d grown completely impatient, a moment akin to the woman she was before… Sighing, she shook her head and attempted to forget about the fact she was just about ready to lose her life savings. Everything she’d worked for seemed dashed in the imminent takeover. Closing her eyes she allowed her mind to daydream about the years spend building the marketing firm, the long hours and exhausting months. Arguments and screaming battles with her partner and husband had moved into separation and the entire company had suffered. Then something happened between them. “Mmm…”

Business was business. Focus. She clucked her jaw and did everything she could to push back the intense shiver dancing all through her body. Had the devil won in his endeavors to destroy the company? Maybe so. Then again, maybe it was time to just give up the battle. Hearing the soft click of her office door she stiffened. When she detected the subtle yet for her the overpowering cologne of a man she adored so completely, she realized her nipples were hard as a rock. Pressing the back of her hand over her mouth, she pushed back a chuckle. Here they were going through what was perhaps the most difficult times of their lives and she was panting like a teenager.

He moved closer, remaining silent until he stood behind her. “It’ll all work out you know.”

“Yeah? Well say that to our investors.” Drake O’ Neil was one formidable man. He In your graspwas opinionated and strong, ballsy even though his rogue behavior had cost them more than one contract. He was also a quiet man, one prone to bouts of depression at times. The man she’d

gone into business with over twenty years before wasn’t the same guy who’d been carefree and ready to fight any enemy – whether real or surmised.

“Don’t worry. I’ve talked with every single one of them over the last two hours. They’re on board to support us,” Drake stated as he rubbed her shoulders. “Even Mr. Thompson isn’t being but so much of an asshole.”

“Son of a bitch. That’s what he is.”

“Don’t take your heightened rage into the boardroom today,” Drake said, his voice quietly authoritative. “This is merely another transaction.”

“Transaction. Right.” Every touch usually comforted her, if not filling her with utter bliss. This glorious afternoon, one in which the sun was shining brightly, she just didn’t give a shit any longer. “Well they certainly know best. Don’t they?” The inflection was clear. Edgy.

His fingers dug in to her shoulders as he sighed. Lowering his head, he moved her long strands of hair with his nose and mouth and pressed his lips across the head of her neck.

Kesha swallowed hard, every part of her body tingling all over and her body’s reactions had nothing to do with the upcoming debacle. Her husband’s touch, the man she’d been with for nearly twenty years, the man who… She was surprised the concept continued to bother her on any level. “Yes sir.” Why was saying the words difficult for her today? Because you feel submissive to nothing and no man. The thought was sadly true enough.

His mouth lingered over her skin, his tongue swirling in circle after circle. When he drew back, his breath was scattered. “Don’t forget we have a dinner function tonight.”

“Dinner? We won’t get out of the meetings until well after seven.” She stiffened, trying to remember whatever plans he’d arranged. “Sir.” The word tonight was added as an afterthought and the realization hung in the air. They’d been teetering back and forth in their vanilla to a DD and D/s concept relationship for almost a year. The very thought of fully submitting seemed completely out of place, especially given the state of their business. The sad truth was she’d been hiding behind the business for years. His utter silence was a harsh reminder she continued to push to a place she wasn’t allowed.

He patted her ass and crowded them both closer to the window. “Do you see our reflection?”

“Yes, sir.” Her eyes darted back and forth. Of course they were both fairly unhappy, the stresses of life something they hadn’t been able to get from under. As she tipped her head she happened to notice even in the dim lighting of the waning sun his eyes were full of angst. No, they were full of angst.

“Do you know you’re the most important thing in my life?” Drake breathed.

“Yes sir.”

“Do you know I place your well being ahead of my own?”

“Yes sir,” Kesha said without hesitation yet she couldn’t take her eyes off of his.

Drake smiled as he crushed his pelvis into her ass. “Do you understand as well as embrace that I own you, will be your Master for the rest of your life?”

The words were startling, enthralling. There wasn’t a part of her body that wasn’t shivering. “Yes, sir.” The way he made her feel, the very concept of the change in their relationship was so amazing. She hated the hesitation and they both knew she wasn’t ready to commit fully just yet. Maybe after they saved their company. Gulping, she was as tense as she’d every been and Drake was right, she was ready to bite the head off of a bat. There was so much she needed to work on personally and while he always told her the journey was a collective one, she was well aware she needed to work on herself. This wasn’t about trust. This wasn’t…

“Good.” Wrapping his hand around her neck he tugged her head back, exposing her neck.

“Ooohhh…” Kesha didn’t dare touch him. She knew he wasn’t going to hurt her, or allow anyone else to hurt her for that matter. He was simply reminding her who was in control.

Allowing his hot breath to cascade down he darted his tongue out merely twice before pulling back. “You need to learn a lesson.”

“Sir?” Now she gripped his arm with one hand.

Drake pulled her back from the window and in a split second thrust her over her desk. “You know exactly what I mean. Place your hands on the desk, positioned out.” His hand remained wrapped around her neck, his fingers digging in.

“Yes sir.” Palming the cool wood she did as she was told, a series of whimpers pushing past her lips.

He yanked back her head with her hair as he jerked her skirt up from the back of her legs past her ass. “Mmm… Excellent. Just a thong today.”

A tiny smile was forced to the surface. His commanding ways, his continued domination of her was unprecedented and damn if she didn’t hunger for more. More letting go and more of the level of heightened intensity she’d never experienced before they’d switched to the lifestyle. Why they’d make the rather bizarre left turn after being the power couple was perhaps the story of the year. But she didn’t care. Nor did he. The fact her utter and complete submission to him had changed their On Submittingrelationship until they were both blissfully happy was…

“Kesha? Where did you go?”

Even in his chastising voice Drake was seductive in his power. “Yes, sir. I’m sorry. I’m just worried.”

“I’m going to help you with that. And I want you to know I do understand. This is a tough time for both of us, something we hadn’t anticipated but I can tell you that we’re going to come through this fine. Better than fine.”

He was using simple words like ‘fine’? Really? “Yes sir.”

“This will help you feel better. We have to focus today and make certain they understand our points, our needs. We will not go down without a battle. Tonight we have an event that you have to be in top form for. Do you understand?”

The last thing she wanted to do was go anywhere tonight, but she knew she was required. “Yes sir.” Kesha couldn’t believe he was going to spank her here, in her office, just twenty feet away from a staff of fifty who had no idea they were anything but a vanilla couple. Vanilla. The word left a bad taste in her mouth. Trust him. He knows what he’s doing. He knows what you need. Yes, her sir certainly did.


The first smack hit solidly on her sit spot. The second, third and forth stung like wild fire. “Shit.”

“No cussing,” he whispered.

Pop! Whack!

“Yes sir,” she said through gritted teeth. As the spanking continued, his hand peppering back and forth with a regular rhythm, she closed her eyes. Maybe her employees needed to see her this vulnerable, a woman not in control, a woman being disciplined on a regular basis. His spankings were always what she needed and while she hated admitting Drake was almost always right about her needs, she knew the truth.

Slap! Crack! Pop!

“I love you and we’re going to get through this together.” Drake’s voice remained even, calming.

Whack! Pop!

“Five more,” he breathed.

When the spanking was complete she shuddered and sucked in her breath. Oddly enough the tension was much less. As he lifted her up from the desk, helping her smooth down her skirt, she smiled. “Thank you, sir.”

Turning her around he cupped both sides of her face. “You’re my beautiful and very strong wife. You’re learning to let go. Take my lead today and we’re going to soar.” He reached around and patted her ass, the reminder clear.

Just then the door opened. “Am I interrupting something?”

Mmm… What do you think? Just a thought of humiliation? What if the employee had walked in on them? Hmmm…

Kisses and spanks


Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Honor and Obey… Her Submission…Purity

Why do I title this blog purity? Because I honestly believe that being able to submit to another is all about embracing the purity of the heart and soul. One simply cannot give every aspect without opening up completely, freeing oneself of the boulders we ALL have hanging around our necks. We can’t. There is no way…

I’ve been thinking a lot about submission on many levels lately. I truly believe no one can honestly understand or embrace the concept of submitting fully to anyone A Sub's initiativewithout having been in some level of a D/s relationship. Simply put. Not possible. Why? Because as John Patrick and I talk about often, the relationship you share with each other is truly powerful, much more so than the majority of vanilla relationships. What I honestly realize is that there is so much more to the heightened level of intimacy, a sheer joy in being able to share a breathtaking look at life on the “fringe”. Yes, that’s what couples involved in BDSM, D/s, DD or insert any other acronym here, faces. People don’t like what they can’t wrap their brains around. And the concept that anyone could completely submit to another? Hmmmm…

Let’s face it. Society has painted men one way and women another. The middle ground of the relationship is often times difficult at best. Do you remember the first time you fell in love? Do you remember the whispers you heard from either friends or family that the person you thought you adored wasn’t good enough for you, that you could do better given the amazing person you were going to be? My personal belief is that those ingrained and usually ugly connotations stick with us throughout our life, shaping every relationship as well as the feelings around them. What does that do? In my opinion often we settle for someone in our lives we THINK we’re supposed to be with. We deem this person pretty good enough. No, this doesn’t happen all the time. There is true love, but honestly? I don’t think there’s a human alive who can handle a full fledged relationship early in their lives.

John Patrick often speaks to the fact he and I have so many experiences under out belts, aspects of our lives something that has prepared us for an alternative lifestyle. He’s right. He’s usually right about these things. I honestly don’t want to think about being older, getting to the ugly phrase he used the other day “middle age”. Quite frankly, if you look at me or experience my worlds you’ll see pretty much the opposite. Then again, I don’t fit into ANY mold. But I do understand what he’s saying. We expect when we reach a certain point we’re going to merely sail through life, enjoy all the wonderful aspects and work through the difficulties. Then we’ll reach retirement and… Well, of course there are more parts to this, but for me? I’ve been restless my entire life, searching. I now know why and finding John Patrick has been amazing, albeit there is some sadness laced within the joy, for reasons I won’t talk about.

What I do know is that in taking a chance, allowing myself to completely open up, I’ve been given a gift, an awakening. I think many of us are allowed this opportunity, yet so many of us fail what I think we all know is a true test. We don’t allow ourselves to grasp onto the moment when Karma kicks us in the ass. Well…we all know the reasons why. Family. Friends. Retirement. House. Heartache. Kids. Cars. Worry. I could keep going. Valid reasons but… Happiness and allowing yourself to be YOU for the first time perhaps in your life? Pretty damn extraordinary.

I think that’s why in reading about the Ceremony of the Rose I was so drawn to the incredible intensity of the moment two people in D/s share. Or can share. I think few will move to this level, one of undying and eternal commitment to each other, but those who do – I applaud. For me, a woman who’s hidden behind a very tight mask, I long for and hope. Not to say I won’t be able to have one day – who knows. I simply realize I value the encompassing aspect. I’ll finish off this little flash portion with a taste of the actual ceremony in the actual short story – and I’m certain there are as many variations as there are concepts of the BDSM lifestyle. For this couple, this is the pinnacle of fighting the good fight, of giving all of themselves to each other against the odds. Think about your world. Could you give up basic comfort for true happiness? Hmmm… Back to the story.

In Craig’s world, true love was something he’d had difficulty expressing or go upsetairsunderstanding, for that matter, his entire life. There wasn’t any doubt he was emotional, craving passion as well as deep seeded love. The absolute love of another woman to him was an incredible high, yet during his years on earth he’d never found such adoration – that is until he and Stephanie moved into D/s. Exhaling, he was suddenly uncertain about where he was or what he was doing. The raw emotions that had eaten away at his very resolve, a dangling of his dreadful past hanging around his neck a wretched reminder of so many mistakes. Yep. He’d made a hell of a lot of them.

“Dude. Did you see the chick with the orange tube top?”

Craig shook his head, trying to remind himself that Mark took very few aspects of his life seriously. “She your type?”

“You know my type,” Mark snorted.
“And you hit the jackpot with Betsy so stop flirting.”

“Answer me this. How the hell can I be flirting when I’m a solid twenty yards from the…mmm… take a peek at her ass. Wow.”

“That’s what I’m talking about. Stop.” Craig couldn’t help but study the group of flowers he’d been waiting patiently in line to purchase. He could hear the sound of Mark’s voice, his words muffled. For some reason there was a distinct echo in his ears as he fingered the outside of the single white rose, the one meant for Stephanie to carry in the ceremony, the stilling event being held in a few hours.

Laughing, Mark fiddled with his watch. “Buddy, you have exactly three hours before a giving your life to an eternal moment.”
“And your point?” Thank God there was only one person in front of them.

“Only that…”

Hearing the hesitation in his friend’s voice he tipped his head. “What? Is there something wrong?”

Mark remained quiet. This was so not like him.

“Are you having difficulties with Betsy?” Craig took a chance.
“No. Not at all. We’re moving into another level and…”

Craig nodded to the bright eyed blond who couldn’t seem to take her eyes off Mark. He had to smile. “I know you too well remember.”

“That’ll be twenty-five fifty,” she clerk, her voice nothing but a velvet laced purr.

Handing her the change, Craig watched a pained expression crossing his friend’s face. He was grateful for having someone to share the experiences of his lifestyle with Stephanie. There were few friends and even less family members he could even imagine telling about their journey. Journey. The word sent shivers down his spine. This was the culmination, a moment of absolute celebration, but he knew Stephanie had continued reservations. “After this we’re going to have coffee and you’re going to tell me what the hell is going on. I don’t need anything to fuck this up tonight. You hear me?”

Mark laughed nervously and winked at the blond before turning to face the entrance to the crowded mall. “Then we need a drink, a stiff drink.”

Minutes later they were sitting at a long mahogany bar. Both men were absently studying the hockey game blaring from the corner over the rack of liquor bottles. Craig fingered the velvet bag, the one holding the specially designed collar. He thought about the selection of the ruby strategically positioned in the center and smiled. The jewel was Stephanie’s birthstone.

Noticing his action, Mark smiled and held up his beer. “I have to admit. I could barely keep from laughing after the girl in the store asked you what the beautiful piece was for.”

“A collar?” Craig grinned.

“I couldn’t believe you told her the truth. You have balls, buddy.”

“Why lie? I’m not embarrassed.” In truth, he was damn proud they’d decided to take this step. A rush of adrenaline swept through him and he clenched the bag, savoring the very moment she’d said yes. Being collared, the ceremony of the rose and the concept of eternity were… He swallowed hard.

“I didn’t say you should be embarrassed. Betsy and I tell people. Well we tell certain people,” Mark corrected.

Craig shot him a look. “Which one of you is having second thoughts?”

“Shit man. That obvious?”

“Remember what you said to me.”


“So talk.”

Sighing, Mark fiddled with his beer bottle, picking at the label. “She doesn’t think she wants to live a D/s lifestyle any longer. She rather liked her vanilla world she told me.”

My slave 2Craig could hear the angst in his friend’s voice. “How do you feel?”

Mark lowered his head. After a full minute he turned and looked directly at Craig. “Like a part of me has died.”

“Have you talked about your feelings?” The blow he could tell was more horrific than Craig would have been able to understand barely eight months before. He took a long pull on his beer and thought about the basic conversation he’d had with Mark a little over a year before. As he thought about the night spent over several beers and shots of tequila, he realized how grateful he was for the basic conversation. Mark must have thought his questions were ridiculous, but his buddy never let on if he did. Instead, he gave thoughtful answers as well as interesting suggestions about additional education for both he and Stephanie. After that night Craig had gained so much respect for his friend. Up to that point, the D/s lifestyle had seemed like nothing more than kinky play. Now he completely understood the joys, the intensity of the connection, and how deep a relationship could be. He also realized that breaking a bond this powerful was life altering.

“Talk? You know Betsy. Talking is all she does. Well, now except with me.”

“Did she give you a reason?”

Shrugging his shoulders Mark sniffed and wiped his eyes absently. “As I told ya, buddy. She enjoyed the vanilla lifestyle and wants to shift backwards.”

“All right. Are you going to?” Craig held his breath. Mark rarely gave in on anything that he wanted. A through and through dominating force, the patience he’d learned since entering into a D/s lifestyle had changed his friend for the better – at least in his opinion.

“Change back?”

“Yeah. Can you go back to the way you were before, the way you were when you were married?”

A full minute ticked by, then another.

Mark smiled, tipped his bottle and kept his eyes peeled on the television. “There’s no way I can. None. I love Betsy with all my heart, but I can’t go back to being equal in the relationship. I’m certain you can understand.”

“Yeah. Then what are you going to do?” Craig asked quietly, unable to take his eyes off the velvet bag.

“I’m going to ask for a divorce and even worse, I’m going to discuss breaking our contract. I no longer feel she’s collared to me.”

As Craig shuddered from hearing the words, he was stunned seeing tears trickling down Mark’s face. Not a single time in the thirty plus years he’d known the man had he seen him cry. An echo of the words pounded in his ears, the thought so unnerving his heart was in his throat. This was the most important and defining moment of his relationship with Stephanie. Instead of feeling a heightened level of trepidation, he was amazed at the myriad of sensations racing through him. He was more excited and more in love with her than he’d ever been. This was the right decision. This meant…everything to him.



Stephanie stepped out of the shower and before she wrapped a towel around her waist she eased her arm behind her back. The moment she rubbed her ass she smiled. “Mmm…” The pain was real, the welts would remain for several days and she was feeling calm and in a place of peace. She had been for several hours, her steps lighter, her heart signing with joy. The simple drive to purchase a few last things – the right my lustcolor blush, a bottle of champagne – had been an interesting trip. There had been moments she didn’t know where she was or how she’d managed to get from point ‘A’ to point ‘B’.

Chuckling, she thought about how Craig called them fifteen year olds in their rather gushy behavior. And they had been acting like love sick school kids – right up until the conversation about the ceremony had sunk in. Now she had no idea why she’d been feeling such anxiety. Very slowly she turned so her ass was to the mirror. Glancing over her shoulder she realized this was the first time she’d actually looked at her bruises and welts. Up to this point she hadn’t wanted to.

Craig had taken a few pictures, posted them on Fetlife for all the world to see, but even those weren’t something she really had paid any attention to. Tonight they seemed like a badge of honor. Her husband and Dom, her most trusted friend cared enough about her to punish her when she really needed motivation or re-focusing. A long sigh slipped past her lips as she carefully wrapped the towel around her, wincing the moment the terry scraped across her swollen ass cheeks. Dear God she was in love with the man. There wasn’t an aspect of him she hadn’t found amazing.

He was so tall and strong, yet so gentle at times, dominating and authoritative at just the right time. Craig was patient and loving, nurturing in every aspect of moving through the journey, yet he was also vulnerable and unafraid to tell her his concerns. In the beginning he’d worn his own mask, one of needing to be perfect in all ways with her but more importantly for her. During the amazing months he’d let go of this particular demon.

Eyeing the simple, classy and very sexy white sheath, she trembled deed inside. White certainly wasn’t her color. She preferred red. The smile she was unable to suppress was a reminder she was offering her being, her very soul as well as her purity to Craig. Purity. Well… Now she laughed. Still, the concept was so very beautiful.

The moment Stephanie pressed her hand over the satiny sheen, the way the material felt in her hand was something she couldn’t describe. This very dress, the one without adornment of any kind, was much more special than her wedding dress. She wasn’t unlike any little girl who dreamed of the perfect wedding. The only difference was, she wanted her eternity submitting to her man – honoring and obeying him.

As she slipped into the dress her excitement grew. After she touched up her makeup, brushed out her hair, she stood back and studied the woman gazing back at her. “Not too shabby.” She looked radiant, her skin glowing. She was well on her way of becoming the submissive her Sir needed, the one he would soon require. Touching her neck involuntarily, she brushed the tip of her finger back and forth across her heated skin. A collar. Whew, the thought was…

She remained barefoot as she spritzed a touch of cologne, his favorite – RED – and the very thought about being by Craig’s side, their souls intertwined, was powerful indeed. The realization she was a new woman, a girl who’d always longed to submit, she was satisfied her Sir would approve. Blowing her reflection a kiss she giggled like a schoolgirl then sensed a presence just out of her line of sight. There was no mistaking the man who filled her dreams with fantasies, her days with desires of increased devotion. The very scent of him brought a sense of wellbeing and a reality of their love. “My sir.” When he didn’t say anything she turned to face him. There was no way she could describe the intensity of her feelings as she glanced into his eyes. Tears were rolling down his face.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, the only woman I’ve ever opened up to and the only woman I could ever take this journey with.” Holding out his hand Craig tilted back his head. “Please, come join in the celebration of our eternity.”

Oh…that gave me chills and there are so many reasons why. Love and devotion, honor and obey. Powerful words…

Kisses and spanks…


Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

When Your Entire Life is…Shattered

I have the joy of bringing back one of my very favorite pieces. I love writing m/m. I’ve often been asked how I can write something I will never know sexually? The truth is we’re only talking body parts as the difference. Love is love – no matter what color etc. Simply stated, I find passion however discovered utterly amazing. This story means so much in several ways. The angst as well as the love mixes with my need to write intrigue. We all think of our looks as something so terribly important. What if we lost our face? What if…

This is a very special story. What I forever hope to bring is merely the joy of two people sharing a life. Shattered may haunt you, the story may remind you nothing is perfect. In sharing life an love, sometimes life isn’t what it seems to be. When you have to hide behind a mask for fear of retribution, well… I hope you enjoy.


“Why do we have to have the same Goddamn argument?” Hunter Reynolds hissed as he snagged his bottle of beer off the counter. Taking a long gulp he gazed out the window and shook his head. He and Taylor argued more than anything lately and the ugly state of their relationship was getting old. They’d both talked about breaking up, but the feelings of comfort dragged them back from the brink every time. He hated their constant battles, loathed the terse words and was exhausted from energy more bondageexerted.

“You know what? This isn’t my argument. It’s yours. You’re the one who doesn’t care to be seen in public with me,” Taylor snarled. “I don’t know why you even waste your time. Your sights are set so much higher. You should find a bodacious blond, one with fake tits, and fuck her. The Press will love you then. How about Ginger? She’s the perfect slut you need.”

“You really want me to fuck my co-star?” As if the girl hadn’t insinuated her desires before. He wasn’t shocked at Taylor’s harsh words. Every photograph had a woman draped all over Hunter.

Pacing the room he snarled and gave Hunter a nasty look. “Yeah, I can see the tabloids now. Maybe getting married will help your career.”

“Jesus Christ. That’s not what I mean at all! And you know I don’t want some Hollywood hussy.” But Taylor was right. They’d been together for nearly three years and not once had Hunter allowed them to be photographed in public together. Hunter blamed the reason on his agent’s nagging. The man continued to remind him that being the hottest leading man in action flicks meant women needed at least an air of mystery enshrouding Hunter’s sexual appetites. This ugly fact was he had to keep his proclivities under wraps in order to sell movies and all the other paraphernalia that went along with being famous. The argument was easy enough to get behind but Hunter knew the truth. Terror about being discovered remained with him for several reasons. Of course there were rumors floating through Hollywood. This alone was one of the reasons they lived outside the city. Sadly, Hunter was too well known to hide the majority of his lifestyle forever. He was going to be discovered as hiding behind a mask.

They remained quiet for sometime as Taylor fiddled with cleaning up magazines that were strewn around their game room.

Hunter stole glances at his lover and licked his lips. Taylor was everything he’d ever craved in a man from his light green eyes and lanky body to the way he fit into a pair of well-worn blue jeans. The rough-hewn guy just did it for him. The reality was cold. They weren’t in love. They’d met several years before at a party for one of his early releases and toyed with getting together for a full year. Hunter closed his eyes. Their relationship had been rocky from the start.

Fortunately Taylor didn’t have to worry about hiding his true persona. Given his profession as a musician, he’d never hidden the fact that he was gay and his adoring fans flocked to see him. Dangerous Liaisons was one of the hottest up and coming rock bands in America and he had women drooling over him everywhere he went. Taylor’s vivid image only fueled sales of the band’s CD’s. The double standard weighed heavily on Hunter’s mind.

Nervous tension remained in the air.

“Look, I have to go meet with a guy tonight about joining the band so you can go out and play or not play by yourself,” Taylor said quietly, his voice filled with angst.


“Yeah. The guy’s in from England on a whirlwind trip so I don’t want to miss the chance.”

Hunter rubbed his eyes. Why did he have the feeling that Taylor was punishing him? Maybe because you deserve to be. Still, a level of anger flushed through his system. Battling his spells of near rage had almost consumed him at the start of his career, his behavior ending many a relationship both personally and professionally. “Fine!” Gripping his beer tightly he finished the entire warm brew and slammed the bottle on top of the bar.

male love“Hunter. Will you please relax? I know you’re really just nervous about everything that’s going on and…”

He turned and narrowed his eyes. “And?”

“Because of the notes.”

“How do you know about the notes?” Snapping his head up Hunter exhaled as a nervous tick floated across the corner of his mouth. He thought he’d hidden the nasty threats from everyone, including Taylor.

“Tough to hide this kind of wretched thing from me. What I don’t know is how long ago they started.” Taylor leaned against the pool table and shook his head. “And I can’t figure out why you’re trying to hide this from me. I thought we were partners.”

“The notes are about my career, not about me personally,” Hunter breathed.

“As I said, I thought we were partners.”

“I can handle this. No big deal.” In truth Hunter was worried. Being a celebrity meant expecting a certain level of threats, but there was something about the words that bothered him. The notes were also escalating.

“God you’re an arrogant bastard!” Taylor hissed as he paced the floor. “You know, I only saw remnants of two of the damn things, but seems like whoever is sending them is gunning for you,” he said and folded his arms, his face filling with apprehension.

“Who isn’t? They need to take a number.”

Taylor dropped his head. “When you finally let loose of that ball and chain you carry around your neck and let me into help you, you’re going to become an amazing man.”

“Stop worrying about me.”

Tick. Tock.

“Hunter, please let me in. I care about you. I want to help you. If nothing else I want to be your friend.”

Fisting his hands, Hunter had no idea what to say. Exhaling, he clenched his eyes shut and turned away from Taylor. “Why don’t we try and do something later?” He heard the half-assed attempt and sighed.

“Fine. Call me later and I’ll see if I can join you for a drink in some dark and foreboding establishment otherwise known as a hole in the wall. Would you like me to bring masks?” Snorting, Taylor grabbed his keys off the side table and sauntered toward the oversized doorway.

“Taylor. Wait.” Hunter shook his head. He loathed the anger that had become so caustic between them.

“Not interested right now,” Tyler called from the hallway.

Why am I such a bloody ass? Groaning, Hunter turned quickly and moved toward the door, barely able to grab Taylor’s arm before Taylor stalked out. “Damn it! Listen to me!”

Taylor yanked his arm away and stood quietly, his chest heaving up and down. “What? What could you possibly say to me right now? That you’ll change your behavior? That you’ll treat me like a damn person? What?” Stealing a glance over his shoulder he Shattered_LargeResCover-as-best-selling-medclucked his jaw.

“That I give a damn about you.” Hunter ached from worry about his supposed stalker and his grueling shooting schedule and in truth from hiding from who he really was. Exhaustion and game playing had left him bone weary. “Please. Don’t go yet. You’re right about everything. You are.”

“Uh-huh.” Tossing his head back, Taylor exhaled slowly and pushed the front door closed. “Are you sure you care?”

Hunter lowered his head and moved forward, sliding his arm around Taylor’s waist. As he eased Taylor’s quaking body in to the heat of his own he shuddered. “More than I have ever even admitted to myself. I’m sorry I’m such a fucking ass.” Brushing his fingers through Taylor’s long locks, he pushed back the silky strands and kissed the side of his neck, darting a series of licks up from the base to Taylor’s earlobe. Breathing a swath of hot air across Taylor’s skin Hunter ground his cock into Taylor’s ass, shifting back and forth. Heated passion had never been their problem.


“You know you want to.”

“I…” Taylor palmed the wall and spread his legs. “You’re insatiable.”

“And you’re hungry.” Hunter grazed his hands down from Taylor’s chest to his hips as he licked up and down the side of Taylor’s neck. The taste of him Hunter craved.

Swallowing hard Taylor grunted. “You always turn me on.”

Hunter unbuttoned Taylor’s shirt just to the waistband of his jeans and slid his hand over his lover’s chest, cupping and squeezing his carved muscles. “And you make me crazy with desire.” He pinched Taylor’s nipples, twisting the tender flesh between his fingers. There was no top or bottom in their relationship but on this day, Hunter was in charge. Filled with rage and fear of the unknown, he was tingling all over. Without reservations, he knew he was going to fuck the man savagely.

“God. You’re on fire today. What do you want?”


When there’s nowhere to run, no way to hide…

Hiding. That’s exactly what movie star Hunter Reynolds had been doing his entire life, preferring to wear a mask made because of his perfected image. He was an action star, Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor and a real ladies man, but preferred the company of men. If discovered, the scandal would end his illustrious career. Unfortunately he had enemies who would stop at nothing to expose him for the man he truly was. While he adored Taylor, his live in lover and best friend, they weren’t in love and Hunter refused to be seen in public with him. When Hunter was brutally attacked, he was uncertain he would ever work in Hollywood again and his doctors weren’t certain they could repair the damage. Angry and bitter, Hunter pushed everyone out of his life including Taylor. Sadly, Hunter was merely the latest victim in a series of horrific crimes targeting gay entertainers.

Macgyver Donovich was a reporter for the LA Times who’d written stories on each of the victims and was anxious to talk with Hunter. From the moment he met the rough-hewn man who exuded sexuality along with choking self-loathing, MacGyver was fascinated and a strained friendship developed. Determined to get to the bottom of the attacks, Mac wrote a series of edgy columns in an attempt to egg on the perpetrator.

Entering into a pact to fight back, both Mac and Hunter realized it was only a matter of time before the assailant struck again. As they grew closer by their respective haunted pasts, a series of new threats were issued and both men were forced to confront their demons. As the race to find the attacker continued, Mac and Hunter finally discovered what they’d been missing in life–love. But was it simply too late?

Secrets and lies and whispers of the past…

Never forget.

I hope you enjoyed…




Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Honor and Obey…Her Submission…Fractured Rose

There is something so precious about a rose. The flower is beautiful and the gift very special to many. I love roses and have always preferred white ones, not white. When I read about the Ceremony of the Rose, a very moving celebration of love and commitment between a Dominant and his submissive, I was taken aback. She carries an unopened white rose, signifying her gift of purity, while his is an open red one, signifying protection. There are other symbols with the two roses as well. The Tell me you deserve itthorns adorning the roses are intricate to the celebration and I simply love the idea of a D/s couple being joined for eternity. They prick each other’s fingers, gathering blood. For me this brings about so many raw emotions, so much joy.

John Patrick and I have often talked about how the way we are in our learning with D/s, without a deep connection there just couldn’t be the level of trust we share. We both have a lot of emotions about what we’re sharing. While some might be very okay with “playing” with strangers or mere acquaintances, he and I realize our passion drives our need and the growing hunger for D/s. I long to please him and know that as we grow closer, the more intense the relationship will become. I mentioned the other day that when you have the kind of heated hunger as a couple, you have extreme highs and sometimes even more extreme lows. No matter how much you want to please each other, there are times you are on a bit of a disconnect. Trust me, we have and know. But you learn.

I think this is something that couples need to talk about. D/s of DD couples aren’t any different in several ways as those involved in vanilla relationships. You have struggles in real life as well as in your D/s life. The combination can often lead to additional stresses on both. Dom’s aren’t any different than submissives in their range of emotions. He’s remarked in my writing that I bring the male’s side out more than he’s used to seeing. He loves seeing and being able to reflect what the Dom is thinking through my eyes. I love making certain men/Doms have a voice, one that shows his fears and joys, needs and aching. The truth is that if a Dom doesn’t have these various emotions, then I would give pause to being able to completely trust him.

John Patrick is am amazingly emotional man. He tells me every aspect of his personal highs and lows and he and I have gone through a few. We have to in order to move forward in our journey. The sharing we’re doing together, the growing is intense. He lets me see this side of him. Pretty powerful stuff. However in all of our development there have been times of angst, worry we’re not doing anything right. He’s had those feelings too and it’s okay to remember you have to accept that you aren’t going to be perfect, that you will have what some might call a failure, but every time you learn, every bit of sharing you do – you’ll grow together. IF you learn to forgive yourself.

In thinking about the Ceremony of the Rose, I realized how close two people have to be to go through something so incredible. The concept of honoring and obeying is very special for a D/s couple (and some vanilla laced as well) so this story seems to have resonated with many. I’m so very glad you’re savoring the journey my couple is on. This story is a bit different, but I think you’ll enjoy the eventual outcome.

Stephanie shivered, a chill sweeping through every inch of her body. She bit down on her lower lip until she was in pain. The slice of anguish was comforting.

“Okay what is going on with you?”

“Huh?” She heard her best friend’s voice, could tell there was concern laced in the tone, but she honestly couldn’t comprehend what the woman was saying. “Betsy, what?”

“Earth to Stephanie. Hello. Anyone home?” Giggling, Betsy held up her wine. When Stephanie remained quiet, fidgeting with her glass, she leaned over the table. “What is going on with you? You look positively sick as a dog.”

A lick of woodShe sat back in her seat and absently kicked the table leg as she toyed with her wine. Finally taking a sip, she almost choked given her throat was so closed. The night before had been almost cathartic, the time spent in the dark something she’d needed. Sadly, she hadn’t slept and her nerves were still on edge. This was ridiculous. She was already married to the guy. Why was she having so much difficulty embracing such an incredible ceremony with the man she loved? “I’m fine.”

“Tell me another lie. Did something happen with Craig?”

“Something. Well…”

Betsy tipped her head. “He’s not cheating on you, is he?”

Now Stephanie coughed. “Why in the world would you say that?” Taking a gulp of her wine she tingled all over, an odd sensation where her ankle had been tied by the rope remaining. She absently brushed her hand all the way down her leg, rubbing her skin. He’d never turned the light off before, had never left her alone for so long. She wasn’t even certain she wanted to talk about this with anyone. While her time alone had seemed like hours, in fact the duration was thirty minutes on the nose. Craig was prompt with all things.

“Because for you to be this upset usually means something huge. That’s why.” Betsy snarked.

“We just reached a new plateau together.” The wine was calming, the taste soothing. Right now she needed anything and everything to keep her from losing her cookies. For some reason she couldn’t stop the edginess, the worry. Completely and utterly submitting to him, body and soul for all eternity was much more aggressive than taking their marriage vows.

“And you’re worried about tomorrow, terrified you’re not good enough for him.”

The sip of wine flew out of her mouth, barely missing Betsy. Coughing, she gasped for air as she grabbed for her glass of water. She could tell everyone around them was staring at her, wondering what in the hell could be wrong. Why did she give a shit? As she wiped her mouth she clenched her eyes shut. Every aspect of her behavior, her attitude was rocky as hell.

“Yep. I knew it,” Betsy said as she patted Stephanie’s hand. “This is very natural. Happens all the time. You’ll be fine.”

When she recovered she held up her glass as the waiter came even barely into her line of sight. Courage at this point could only be found in a bottle. “I’m that obvious?”

“No, but your nerves are.” Betsy laughed then threw her arm over the back of the chair as she crossed her leg. “Girl. I have no idea what’s going on with you. You love this man. You’re married to Craig and from what you tell me you have great and very kinky sex, better than most of us. He’s the perfect Dom and you have a brand spanking new playroom full of BDSM toys in the basement. He spanks you regularly cause you are a very bad girl and he’s learning tricks with ropes. What’s not to love?”

There was something so genuine and yet so very abrasive about Betsy’s New York accent, as well as the volume of her voice. There wasn’t a single person within a solid twenty yards who hadn’t heard she was not only a kinkser, but also a well spanked woman to boot. “You know, I think they have a PA system in the mall. Why don’t you go and tell the entire world that I’m in a D/s relationship. Okay? I’m certain my work would love to know. Hell, half the damn accountants on staff would laugh at me before carting me off to some looney bin.”

“Is this what’s all your angst about? I mean really? You’re worried about what other people say?”

Stephanie finished the rest of her wine and managed to set the glass down. Every part of her was shaking so badly even her teeth were rattling. “No. I honestly could care less if other people think I’m a freak or not, but I can’t advertise this. You know how conservative my boss is.”

Betsy swirled the tip of her finger around the rim of her glass and grinned. “Something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

“What? Are you going to chastise me now?” Stephanie groaned. Her ass was still on fire. He’d spanked her damn good and promised another one just as soon as he got home tonight. Yeah, she needed another hard one. Craig didn’t know she’d overdrawn their bank account not once but twice. That little bit of information was certain to keep her from sitting down for probably the next three weeks.

“No, silly. God. You’re pathetic today.” Betsy glanced over her shoulder and leaned in. “Remember the BDSM club Mark and I go to?”

“The new one on Central?” Now her head was killing her. Where the hell was the waiter with her wine?

“The very one and the hot spot I’ve been trying to get you and Craig to come to as well.”

“Yeah, okay. What about it?”

Betsy licked her lips as she raised a single eyebrow. “Guess who I saw there the other night. Just guess.”

This was an annoying game, one Betsy loved to play, yet seeing her BFF’s face made her think. “No freaking way. Not the ultra plain and boring Mr. Dwight Smith?”

“The very one. Bet you didn’t know you’re boss was into being a submissive.”

A full minute ticked by until she was able to comprehend what Betsy was saying. “Him? He’s a submissive?”

“You better believe it sweetie. I have to admit, for an old guy he looked good in a leather collar and what could only be described as a loincloth on steroids. Who knew I warned youthe man had such a huge cock. Course I wasn’t looking.”

Another cough was followed but a raucous round of laughter. Now Stephanie would never get the vision of her bald headed, wire rimmed glassed, suit and tie man out of her mind in nothing but a collar. Who knew? “I freaking love it.” She almost grabbed the glass of wine out of the waiter’s hand.

“I thought you’d get a kick. So you see, darling, there’s no reason to be worried. None.” Betsy raised her glass. “To what is going to be an incredible ceremony, something Mark and I are so glad you’re allowing us to be a part of.”

Another shiver shifted down her spine. As they clinked glasses she couldn’t help be allow the terror to rush through her. What if you’re not good enough? What if you fail him? What if he fails you? What if your marriage is ruined? She closed her eyes. This shit had to stop.

“Okay look. Have you talked to Craig about your worries?”


”Why not?”

“Because he’ll laugh at me.”

Betsy sighed. “I might not know every little detail about Craig, but I can say this with assurance. He’s never laughed at you for sharing your feelings nor is he going to with this. Trust me.”

The way she said the two words ‘trust me’ were odd, far too confident. Stephanie smiled and shook her head. “Spill it.”


“You know what. You know more than you’re letting on. That’s why you wanted to have lunch today.”

“I wanted to have lunch because you’re supposed to be buying the perfect white dress and something slinky for the bedroom. Remember?” Betsy scoffed then looked away.

“God. You’re such a horrible liar. Talk to me. Tell me what you know,” Stephanie insisted.

“Me? You’re the one hiding behind some latent fear of what neither Mark or I can figure out.”

“So you two are talking about me now?”

Betsy opened her mouth, a flush cresting across her cheeks. “Well…”

“As I said spill it or I’m going to toss this wine all over you.”

“And you know you won’t waste a perfectly good glass of wine.” They both laughed and Betsy sighed as she twirled her glass. “You’re not the only one with fears. That’s all.”

“What do you know?” Had Craig said something? Was he having second thoughts? Was he unable to commit to her? My God. She was mind fucking herself. Wiping the beads of sweat from her brow she groaned. This was ridiculous. They were both in their fifties, having been married for longer than most couples they knew. So why move into a D/s commitment now? Of course they both knew why. There was little left or they’d go their separate ways.

Wrinkling her nose Betsy gave her a sheepish look. “You can’t tell Mark I said anything to you and please do NOT say anything to Craig. He really was…he was reaching out to Mark. You know how Craig is.”

“I know and I won’t.” Craig kept everything to himself, only sharing his life in any aspect with her. She was honestly glad he found some refuge in talking with Mark. They’d been friends for years, yet this was the first time she knew of that he’d talked with Mark about anything serious.

Legs Bound“Okay. Gotta trust you at your word.” Betsy took a sip of wine and scanned the restaurant.

“Talk to me. I have to know what he’s thinking. I have to see if he’s having second thoughts and if we should just stop trying so hard. I have to know.”

“Answer me this. Do you love him?”
“Very much so. Love has never been the question,” Stephanie said with clear defiance.

“Are you ready to submit to him fully and completely, giving him every ounce of your body and soul, your heart and body to do with as he sees fit? Do you trust him enough to make the important decisions of your life together? Will you honor him with being his collared submissive, having no other unless he deems it so?”

“Without a doubt.” Hearing zero hesitation in her own voice was somehow surprising. “Yes, I will and I…” As a laugh bubbled to the surface she laughed.

“Excellent. Then you have your answer.” Betsy raised her glass.

“But what does Craig say? I mean what is wrong with this for him?”

Betsy grinned. “He told Mark he knows you still have reservations and he’s going to do everything in his power to ease them. Yes, he’s worried he can’t be good enough for you. He’s terrified he can’t be the strong Dom you need.”

For some reason, no for about a million reasons the words were more powerful than Stephanie could have imagined. Her man, her lover and friend, her husband and Dom was terrified he wasn’t good enough for her. In the next few several seconds she could suddenly see clearly for the first time in months. This was the absolute right thing to do. This was the best moment of her entire life and she couldn’t wait to join her Dom in eternity. “Finish your wine. We have shopping to do.”


When Stephanie heard the garage door she smiled. Yes, she was still tingling, still in a bit of a daze. The entire afternoon had been so eye opening. Her purchases were perfect and she’d enjoyed the time with Betsy. Now she needed to face her discipline, just as her Sir required. He’d texted her twice, making certain she understood what was required of her. She was in the required position in the kitchen, her nose pressed to the wall. She’d prepared his drink of choice, Tanqueray and Tonic, laid out the brush and paddle as he’d requested, and she was naked. Normally she’d be tense as hell. This evening she was at peace.

“Hello, my submissive.” Craig’s voice boomed into the oversized space.

She loved his deep voice, trembled when she heard the always sensuous tone. Tonight was no different. Stephanie was wet, her pussy clenching. “Hello my Sir. How was your day?”

“Fabulous because I knew I was going to be able to spend the night with my beloved. Tell me, have you been a good girl today?”

Hearing the sounds of him dropping his things, no doubt removing his suit jacket and taking a sip of his drink gave her a series of tremors. “I think so sir.”

Craig chuckled. “Hmmm… That means you know you need a hard spanking.”

“Well… Yes, sir.”

“Hhhmmm… Then let’s get started.”

The way the chair legs scrapped along the tile gave her a heated moment of trepidation. Still, he was right. She needed regular spankings.

As he helped her over his lap and patted her ass, she succumbed to him completely, closing her eyes as she heard him reaching for his implement of choice. This was exactly where she was supposed to be.

“Tonight I’m going to give you fifty. I think that many strikes will be sufficient to ease your worries. Don’t you?”

“Yes sir.” For the first time in their entire married life she felt like she belonged. “Very much so sir and thank you.”


“By the way. Is there something you need to tell me, a little problem with our bank account?” Craig asked.

Stephanie groaned as the brush was shifted back and forth across her ass. “Well…”

Pop! Crack!

Mmmm…. What do you think? Is she ready to entire into something so amazing? I think so.

Kisses and spanks…




Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment