Hmmm – I had a lovely writer, thank you very much Thea Atkinson – not only host me on her blog site recently allowing me to give a very naughty piece regarding spanking, but she also posted something that honored me today. How well can you write sex scenes? What does it take? Take a look at what she said…

“I’m not a master of erotica like Cassandre Dayne or George Pappas but I’ve learned a couple of little things along the way that have helped me when I needed to write a scene.

Just call the anatomy bits what they are (unless you’re writing for one of those pulp romance novels) or at the very least what the ‘character’ would call them.

The characters still have to react to one another. It’s not about listing out mechanical acts

You don’t have to describe each and every detail. Just the highlights.

Stay clear of alliteration

Consider rhythm. Ahem. Sex has rhythm. Keep that in mind. And get it right. It doesn’t have to overtly match that of real sex, but it needs to have some sort of scene matching rhythm. Is the encounter a harsh one or is it romantic?

Stay away from clichés. If you must use one/or recognize one in the scene, change it to a conceit.”

Now, not only did that make me feel very good in that she thinks I evidently write scenes very well but her piece got me to thinking. What is it about passion and hard core sex and even kink that we enjoy reading about? While we crave the naughty moments of fiction that include some levels of what we know as reality, it’s really about delving into a little of our fantasies, isn’t it? Wouldn’t you honestly prefer to read about a hot man that you drool over just thinking about his carved chest and long runner’s legs and the shaggy hair that dips over midnight blue eye. You know the eyes I’m talking about, the ones that you can gaze into for hours and see into his soul. It’s about inspiration in a man and I find often it’s gazing at a hot guy.

What about his arms when he holds you? Can you imagine his muscular arms wrapped around the heat of your body as he nuzzles you into his chest while you sit in front of a roaring fire, a glass of wine in hand? Hmm…kind of gives you naughty thoughts, doesn’t it? For my fellow men friends, I love all types and sizes of men so please don’t get too upset, but girls love their men wild and dangerous and full of passion that most of us only dream about.

In writing sex scenes – which to me are those quick bursts of passion. Whether he takes you hard and fast over the kitchen island when he comes home from work or a bit of kink including the use of toys and BDSM, this is more about pure lust filled sex. Making love is about passion and love of course. And the wonderful moments don’t have to be about money spent for a hotel room, a fancy dinner out or even flowers. It’s about creating something sensual for your partner. Perhaps a hand written note or an email every morning for a week leading up to a single present and a night of passion without the kids and without the television would sizzle your relationship.

Writing these scenes is no different. Anyone can stick a cock into a pussy and thrust and moan and pant. That’s not what draws you into the scene although I agree with Thea that you call body parts what they are. Your man isn’t going to say love box or honey pot. He’s going to say he wants to fuck your pussy or eat you raw. That’s that way guys talk. Writers also need to draw you into the scene. You don’t open a book (not normally anyway) and have he and she jump on the couch and he fuck her hard, driving his thick dick into her pussy. Uh, no. Does that sound sexy at all to you?

First of all you want to know your characters at least a little bit. While certain erotic publishers want sex right on the first couple of pages, you have to craft the scene. Why are they having sex? Why do they crave each other? Who are they are what’s around them? Are they in a darkened bar, strangers that have gazed across the room and throw all caution to the wind or are they two lovers reconnecting by going to a park and sharing a picnic and sparks fly. It’s about the tone, the setting, the feel of the couple or ménage and it’s about who they are and what they’re longing to enjoy. We all have fantasies – the ideal man or woman, the perfect place to enjoy a romantic moment or a darkened location to taste a touch of the black arts.

However you write your scenes, the characters have to be real people. You need to know what they think and what they lust for. They talk a certain way and react to a kiss and a lick of his tongue a way the reminds you of the character. I like to mix up my characters with different traits because I think it keeps my stories fresh and real. Think about a poem or a naughty little piece you may have written for your lover. Didn’t you try and set the tone but it was all about you expressing your emotions and hungers.

As Thea said, flow is also important and in truth, certain things happen during sex that just well…they just happen a certain way. While some people might be acrobats, I think there are certain things that the body simply can’t do so you have to be real. Passion and romance are very important to all of us and whether you’re enjoying a personal moment or reading about someone else’s fantasy, it has to draw you in like…a good story. I hope you enjoyed and perhaps think about writing a little note and slipping it inside your husband’s briefcase. You never know where the single act might lead…

Kisses   xxx


About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
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  1. I loved this post. There is so much more than thrusting and climaxing. You have to build up the tension so not only do the characters want to go to bed but you as the reader want them too as well. You have to balance by making sure it is not too early either I think.

    Another great post



  2. Liz Crowe says:

    frankly, the build up turns me on more if it’s well-written.
    thanks Cassandre!


  3. Alix says:

    Thank you for a great post, and your thought and time in writing it. A great resource for new writers in the genre and basically just in general.


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