ARE YOU A BAD GIRL?

It’s Hidden and Secret Fantasy month not only at Erotic Diaries but for Wicked Women Wednesday that I share with the lovely BL Morticia and we’ve covered so many aspects including menage and BDSM. I talk to a lot of people that are trying to spice up their relationship or perhaps bring a quiet calm into their life because of how contemptuous their every day has gotten and I ask a lot of questions. Do you try something new like sex toys or edibles? Do you read sexy poems to each other? Do you try different positions? Then I delve more into their every day life. Is one of you in charge? Do you have rules in your relationship and if so, what method of discipline is used? You’d be surprised how many people are taken aback when I ask those last two.

I wrote a piece this morning for another blog and when I posted it I had the question posed to me – am I a bad girl? Well the answer is yes. I guess if that means I tend to me mouthy, tell it like it is, rarely take no for an answer, fight for what I believe and cuss. Yes…I cuss, slam doors, stop my feet, scream at the top of my lungs and hiss when something isn’t done. Does that make me a bad girl? Should I be spanked on a regular basis for my bad attitude and poor behavior? I would assume some engaging in the man-rules-the-roost (or vice versa given our state of varied relationships) then the answer is a resounding yes.

I tend to write about many kinds of discipline and D/s relationships. I think there’s something so sexy about the thought of being in control of your partner. Many couples engage in power play in and out of the bedroom and it’s interesting when I talk with people what that means to then. I’m on Erotic Diaries today talking about Hidden Fantasies and one that I love to talk about is spanking. If you’re in a situation where your mate regularly spanks or controls you, what does that mean and do you tell your friends and family that you engage in the lifestyle or are you embarrassed?

If you’re very very bad in the middle of a grocery store, does he take you outside and spank you in the car? Or perhaps if you’re preparing a feast for guests and throw a tantrum, does he snag a kitchen implement, take down your panties and whip your ass until you’re cherry red? Do you have regular days that he or she spanks or does it only happen when you pout and whine? Don’t blush, it happens more than you think.

Some couples enjoy the closeness and the freedom it gives and I think also the touch of danger in being caught doing something like spanking your spouse in public is a huge turn on. Imagine being caught by a group of hikers when you’re splayed naked over his legs as he uses a hairbrush or paddle? Make you hot? It does for some couples and is a powerful aphrodisiac. Many times this is simply about power and control. We all feel a bit out of control these days with the state of the economy and loss of jobs and we’re acting up more. We hide behind emails and texting and can be or say anything we want and you know what? We’re a rude society. What if there were disciplinary actions for this bad behavior? Think about it? Would you sent off that shooting nasty email? Maybe. Maybe not.

In the struggle for power in a relationship many couples argue and fight over everything from household items to putting the toilet seat down. In doing research for my books in dealing with forms of discipline and control (we’re not just talking spanking here), I’ve read a lot about the old and traditional HOH (Head of Household) lifestyle and you know what I’ve found through many blogs and talking with people? It’s coming back as a preferred form of marriage – I kid you not.

I’m not saying we should all enter into this but its interesting to be couples are choosing to have one in charge over the other and corporal punishment is part of every day life. I don’t know. It gave me pause but I think that’s why I put more and more playful spanking in my pieces. If you read some of the blogs of women and men engaging in the lifestyle – it’s interesting what they share including pictures not only of implements they’ve picked out together but of their most recent punishment. I don’t know about that but it’s fascinating.

Well…to each their own and to any of you spankos out there – happy spanking!

Kisses   xxx

Cassandre