How Not to Make a Baby for Dummies

My wonderful guest today is Lila Munro – not only a fabulous Rebel Ink Press writer but a good friend of mine and the Vice President of Rebel Ink as well. I’m lucky to have her here today giving you a sizzling taste of her just released piece and some thoughts…

You know years ago, birth control in romance was unheard of. Probably because sex was also unheard of. John and Sally would have a whirlwind romance and get married in the last chapter. John would sweep Sally off her feet and into the bedroom they would go…then SLAM! The door was shut abruptly in our faces. Blah! What fun was that?

My how times have changed. These days in romance it’s an anything goes world. There’s sex seven ways to Sunday. Same sex, hetero, ménage, kink. Hell, we’ve even got inter-species going on in some cases. And although this is about how not to make a baby, seriously, our characters need to know enough to ensure they don’t catch some horrible illness. I’ve always felt, and I know there are many more
people out there that agree, that it’s our responsibility as writers to ensure we’re protecting our characters thereby taking a stance in the public eye and letting our readers know, hey this could happen to you. You need to protect yourself and be careful out there! It’s something akin to the rules of BDSM: safe, sane, consensual…I can’t stress those enough in my work. If it’s not safe, and someone doesn’t want to do it, well, they don’t. Period.

I have to smile sometimes because times have changed so much. I remember when I learned about, well, you know… S-E-X…it wasn’t really polite to talk about it. And we thought we were out on the edge of the envelope in the late seventies, early eighties. We had Mary Jane and her friend Puff, what more was there right?  What did we know? Close to nothing in comparison to what we know today, that’s what. My sex talk came in the form of my mother taking me to the library and checking out a copy of “Becoming a Woman.” I was to read it and ask questions if I had any…like I was really going to ask questions. There wasn’t really a totally open line of communications there. Hell if I knew what a rubber was…and to think about asking her for the pill…Good Lord, I would have surely caught fire and gone down in the fires of hell. LOL Mom’s standing joke was put a quarter in your shoe—it serves two purposes. Call me if you need a ride or if things get out of hand before I get there, hold it between your knees. Yeah that was a safety tip. J

Back then there were basically four ways to not make a baby. Don’t be fucking around…great preventative, but certainly not much fun. Use a condom…if you think it’s hard these days to get one without giggling, try thirty years ago…I lived in Whoville where everyone knew your name and the pharmacist had been giving me cough syrup since I was a wee tot. The pill…you couldn’t get them at free clinics back then and you sure as hell weren’t getting them if you were under eighteen, and I mean really. Who could remember to take the damn thing the morning after a Def Leppard concert anyway? Then of course if you were old enough and you’d had a few squirts and your doctor agreed, he’d tied your tubes. Oh the choices…

These days I can’t keep up with the methods and forms of birth control, there seems to be a new one every single week cropping up. Allegedly condoms are much safer and less cumbersome now…nice to know. There’s something called a vaginal ring, and you can get a shot, or an implant…there are foams, and jellies, and creams, and dams…It’s a paradise!

This also poses a host of issues for romance writers…how the hell do you choose from any of that and protect your characters?

My preferred method is the standard condom. It is my belief that real men still carry one in case of emergency. Not only does it prevent an Ooops from forming, they also can help prevent the spread of disease. Something we’d like to encourage. Sure in an ideal world our characters would know each other and have past histories, but let’s face it. We write smut for a living, nothing about our world is perfect…perfectly sinful, okay. J My second in the running of how not to make a baby would be the old stand-by the pill…and this offers a world of possibilities in regards to conflict on why it failed. Convenient? Very! She forgets to take one, she’s on antibiotics and it fails, she just happens to fall in the 2% or whatever that it isn’t a sure thing…conflict…ya gotta love it!

Whichever method you choose to keep your characters safe…take my advice…even a dummy knows a quarter between your heroine’s knees won’t get the job done. Aside from inflation, after a while your
legs just get damn tired and fall open anyway…;)

Now, do we have a baby in Three for Keeps? Or does the birth control work…you’ll have to read to find out…

Zoey Matthews is in love. She’s been in love since the day she was dropped off by a social worker at yet another foster home on a back country road miles from nowhere, Missouri. At age ten, she met the men of her dreams. Over the course of sixteen years, Dane Cardwell, Jack Devereux and Ryan Wilkins fell in love with her, too. They’ve each told her they love her, they’ve shown her and each man has gone so far as to ask her to marry him. But what they don’t know is Zoey loves them all.

Her game of kiss and not tell all comes crashing down around her the night of her graduation from veterinary school and Zoey runs for the mountains. Of Colorado. Hoping to outrun her obsession with three men and forget them all together, she stays gone for ten years. But the wound has never healed. In fact, it’s done nothing but fester. Needing to clear the air, Zoey agrees to spend a few days back home with the boys never imagining it would turn into a week filled with comparison sex as Dane, Jack and Ryan each try to get Zoey to choose between them and their varied tastes.

When she finally tells the truth, a truth only one of them has known all along, Zoey fears the foursome will never be able to make a sharing relationship work. After all, aren’t there just too many personalities and desires to sort through? Add in the kink factor and things get really complicated. Zoey’s not convinced the truth has any merit, but there’s one thing she knows for sure…this time she’s playing for keeps.

Please enjoy an excerpt:

“I won’t hurt you,” he whispered, moving to her ear and licking the shell. “I promise. You’ll love the way it feels after I’m done, trust me.” In one quick tug, the towel fell away leaving her completely at his mercy.

The cloth grew cool and Ryan removed it, squirted some of his fresh rain scented shaving cream in his palm then with excruciatingly slow precision spread it across her pulsing flesh. Looking down as he started to make the first sweep up her labia, Zoey held her breath and tensed.

“Relax.” Ryan stopped and rubbed her calf. “And do not move. If you do I’ll have to take you to my bed and tie you down.”

Zoey shuddered at the thought and almost told him she’d prefer that, but before her tongue could form the first syllable Ryan made one clean movement up one side of her pussy leaving a bare path in his wake. In a few quick flicks of his wrist, Zoey was as bald as the day she was born. Ryan rewet the cloth and wiped away the remnants of the cream then ran his fingertips across his handy work. Dear God, it was like she was hypersensitive now.

“Feels good doesn’t it?” he asked, leaning down and running his tongue up the inside of one of her thighs.

“Yes,” she whispered in fascination of this new sensation.

“Touch it.”

“What?” Zoey stammered almost horrified he’d ask her to do that.

“I said touch it.” Ryan licked the other thigh then sank his teeth into the juncture where it met her backside.

“But…”

“Did I ask? Touch it, Zoey.”

Well, wasn’t this what she wanted? To let go of control? Be…dominated? She just didn’t really expect this side out of Ryan. Good Lord, what if Jack had a controlling streak, too? Could she handle three of them? Zoey thought sometimes she’d still want just plain old run-of-the-mill sex. Maybe even missionary style, slow, in the dark. She thought just getting them all to agree to this relationship would be a chore, but now she realized there was way more to consider and figure out than she first thought.

Tentatively she reached down with her right hand and feathered her fingertips across the top of her mound. Its slickness was odd, and naughty, but somehow so very good. Ryan chuckled at her uncertain exploration and she jerked her hand back like she’d been electrocuted.

“What’s funny?” she asked, embarrassed at how naïve she was with some things.

“Nothing. I wasn’t laughing at you, I was appreciating you.” Ryan ran a finger through her puffy folds and sank it inside her.

Before she could ask what that meant, Ryan kissed her, muffling the protests that turned to acquiescence when he withdrew and added another finger to the first, stretching her. As he moved those in and out of her, his thumb skimmed her engorged clit, slowly, as if he were seducing it. Warmth spread up Zoey’s belly and she tilted her head back with her eyes closed and moaned. Sweet Jesus, as wrong as she knew it was to want and love three men she thought she’d perish if she couldn’t have them all for the rest of her life.

Zoey jumped when Ryan’s thumb left her to be replaced by his mouth. He flicked his tongue across her a few times then settled over her and alternated sucking and biting until she flew apart and screamed his name.

“I’m right here, sugar. Right here,” he murmured before his lips met hers and her own juices spread across her tongue.

When she quit shaking, Ryan removed his fingers then lifted her off the counter. She wrapped her legs around his waist and clung to his neck as he walked to the bed. Once she was on her back in the middle of it, Ryan eased into her, taking his time, nibbling her throat and showering her collar bone with kisses before taking her pierced nipple between his teeth, razing it. The zinging pain ran straight to her clit and another orgasm washed over Zoey.

“Oh God, Ryan, what are you doing?” she gasped, digging her heels into the backs of his legs.

“Making you come, sugar,” he panted matter-of-factly. “How many more you got in there for me?”

“Yeah, sugar how many more you got in there?”

Zoey’s eyes flew open and Ryan stopped mid-stroke. She peeked across his shoulder to find Dane standing beside the bed naked and his dick tapping his belly, a bead of moisture glistening on its tip.

You can keep up with me at: http://lilamunro.weebly.com and if you’d like to purchase Three for Keeps please go to: http://www.allromanceebooks.com/storeSearch.html?searchBy=publisher&qString=rebel+ink+press&searchBy=publisher&qString=rebel+ink+press

Thanks for having me over today, Cassandre!

Lila Munro~~

About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
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