Hey – it’s inevitable. I hate the passing of time. I feel like it was just the 4th of July here. But it happens. I’m in a reflective and somewhat irritated mood today but going to be very positive if it kills me. I’ve had a fantastic year. There’s no denying it and I feel blessed and lucky. I’ve been reading too many negative things lately and not just from writers about what and why they didn’t get everything from a better review to better sales. I asked someone recently in a forum – I shouldn’t have bothered posting to – Do you remember when you first were published and the joy and thrill you felt course through your body? The answer brought more negativity than anything.
Now, you should say – that’s shocking and I should agree but the truth is it didn’t. I’ve been in a negative situation managing community associations now for over 20 years which prompted me to write the entire Pinked Series – at least I get to kill people off creatively. People are happiest when they are negative and bitching about what they didn’t get or don’t have. On top of it they seem to get their jollies out of making sure other people feel bad. That’s so not cool in my book and one goal I have this year is refusing to deal with these kind of people. Yeah right… It’s part of the politics of the world.
But on that note I will tell you I DO feel blessed and in trying to look at my writing goals I have several but the first and foremost is pleasing you as my readers. That’s why I’m here in the first place – isn’t it? Reviews and reviewers will come and go. Sales will spike and dip but if my readers don’t like what I’m doing then I’m doomed period.
The thing on this forum – and it’ll remain nameless although I’d love to tell you – that really bothered me is they did another crucification of writing both m/m and BDSM pieces when they are not only HOT sellers but seem to garner the most positive comments. For all of you who have read me over time you know I do research and try and bring you both fun including fantasy and reality BUT… in the end again it’s about what you guys want to read. That’s why I love to hear from you. So…
Enough soap box time. My goals are heady including having at least two books out a month. Hmmm… I stood back when I was thinking about this and reminded myself that my goals should be something more uplifting and my inner voice is correct (Damn that inner voice). I started writing at five years old for the love of writing – not to be a Pulitzer Prize winner because you know what? That’s not going to happen. If I’m VERY lucky indeed I’m going to get to do what I love truly full time WHILE paying the bills. You laugh but it’s tough right now.
My husband has most of the burden and its starting to take its toll. BUT I will continue because…because… I LOVE WRITING and creating. For authors who think it’s about the money or fame – sorry guys – get out of the industry or at least tone down your goals. Do this because you can’t stand NOT writing. For readers – I hope you do remember we are trying to make a living. Piracy is my number one concern and I’ve found my books already on several pirated site. Does that mean I’ve come up a notch or two in the world? LOL
Well…on this note I am saying thank you to all my readers, my extended writing family and my real family. Without your love and support none of this would matter. As we head into 2012 – I’m going to take you down memory lane with some excerpts over the next couple of days that are from the beginning of this year. I hope you’ll stop back by and enjoy AND please comment. If there’s something else you’d like to see then please tell me. I will keep writing m/m and BDSM and f/f and wicked and wonderful.
To the forum group members – and you know who you are – please stop by and enjoy. You might find you like a little bit of the naughtier side of writing.
The first – from my upcoming January 3rd release – Unleashed – and its all about BDSM and sexual slavery and three men and one woman an oh yeah – there’s some gay sex in this one too. Did I miss anything? Let me know what you think.
When your heart is broken but your fantasies burn within you – can you let go?
Ariana Tempest’s divorce from her abusive husband wasn’t even final but Randi knew that she had to bring her best friend out of her depression. Stealing her diary, Randi learned about her cravings for kinky acts and her lust for three men. Chaz, Shane and Galen had been their friends for years. They were professionals, roommates and secret lovers. Determined to make Ariana’s fantasies come true, she enlisted the help of the men through blackmail. Unfortunately she had no idea how many demons she unleashed.
Galen Patterson hid from the man he used to be, a past so horrendous he was unable to admit the truth. When faced with the game and Ariana’s need to become a submissive, controlled by a Master, he wasn’t certain he could handle returning to his private hell. After being convinced by his lovers that this would help in the healing process they entered into a single night of sexual exploration and a beginning. But was it the beginning of the end?
Ariana allowed herself to explore his most hidden desires, hungering for more. That is until the nefarious game was revealed. Hurt at their betrayal, she raced home only to find her soon to be ex, Nick waiting inside, begging for forgiveness but his beast hid just below the surface. Little did she know that dark secrets threatened all of them in ways that could haunt her for the rest of her life. Would she believe Nick or the man she’d fallen in love with?
Galen couldn’t believe he’d jerked Ariana over his legs, let alone spanked her in front of the others and yet the feeling of her wet heat on his fingers remained like a glorious beacon of desire. He never anticipated going this fast with his desperate need to dominate her or with the evening. She was too vulnerable. But the moment he felt her melting into him, he knew he’d made the right decision. He was so glad he went to see her earlier. The connection between them was stronger even than he’d realized and yet his heart ached. As she stood staring up at him, her face glistening from crazed desire and a hint of uncertainty, it was as if she was reading into his soul. Her stunning seductress like appearance had driven him to the insane act. God, the woman was beautiful. Breathtaking.
Licking his dry lips he turned his gaze toward Diego’s flushed face. He and Chaz had been completely unsure about their crazy gamble right up until the moment she came into the room like a shimmering naughty vixen. They became mesmerized the moment they saw her. Her beauty and vulnerability was enough to strangle any man. Galen sighed and brushed his hand through his hair buying time. Granted, it was a very dangerous game they were playing indeed. And now, both men wore a look of yearning that he had never seen before. Whatever happened that weekend, their relationships would never be same again. A slice of fear mixed with the unknown but he forced it aside.
There was no time for second-guessing.
“Come, I’ve poured you a glass of wine.” Chaz stood and took her hand.
Ariana inhaled deeply and glanced back at Galen, her hand trembling.
Galen gently caressed her shoulder as he adjusted his cock, feeling a level of agony that left him drained. His blood pulsing, he felt the ragged beats of his heart and while he wanted to say it was from exertion, he knew better. He was experiencing such raw emotions that he hadn’t anticipated feeling. “Chaz, is everything ready for the show and for the shoot?”
She whipped her head around. “The shoot? As in a photo shoot?”
Chaz leaned into her and kissed the side of her neck, allowing a single lick to crest across the edge of her chin. “Why yes love, you are going to dazzle us tonight with your dancing abilities while I take sinful little pictures for my erotic coffee table book I’m putting together. And who knows, perhaps you’ll end up in on the pages of one of the magazines I work for,” he purred, giving her a wicked grin.
“What?” Ariana’s hand fluttered over her mouth. “No…you can’t! I won’t. I mean…are you nuts?” She stole a look at Galen.
Galen smiled as he watched her stunned face. She wanted him to take absolute control and while she was fighting the intense feelings, he could sense her thoughts, her needs. The realization not only surprised him, but it also forced his cock to ache with hunger. He gave her a sultry yet controlling gaze as he walked toward the bar, watching her struggle to maintain some sense of rationality about what was happening to her. So much of her wanted to let go and to experience the darker side of erotic.
Following almost aimlessly she licked her lips as she straightened her outfit, brushing her hands across the supple leather again and again.
Galen fought the hunger that had awakened the beast within him. He could ravage her completely at that moment and feared losing her. She wanted to desperately but the terror from what the asshole had done to her was still buried deeply within her. He took his index finger and lifted her chin. “You will do this kitten, not only for me and because I command it of you, but because you want to do this.”
Ariana batted her eyelashes as a flush of crimson rushed into her cheeks. She shivered uncontrollably and grabbed for the glass of wine, nearly tipping it over. Stealing another quick glance at him she said nothing else, only nibbling on her bottom lip, hiding behind the hefty crystal.
Galen stepped back and took his drink as he watched her actions. They were skittish yes, but by the intense look on her face, she was extremely turned on by the heady turn of events. He glazed his tongue across the edge of his glass. Was she resigned to doing his biddings? He thought about the playroom…his playroom and fought a chuckle. He had read her diary more than once the night before. The three amigos had compared notes and realized that she had so many carnal desires buried in the deepest recesses of her imagination that her words tumbled together. Her burning need for not just domination but to be controlled in every way in the bedroom burned up every page. There was nothing she hadn’t touched on. Voyeurism. Bondage. Discipline. Threaded throughout was raging desire for him, for them and while she didn’t say their names, the penned words had been clear to all of them. He thought about one passage that he’d memorized and sighed as he watched her continue to struggle with the truth and with her own needs.
For so long I’ve craved him taking me to the heights of pleasure and pain. What I’ve hungered for years is to be dominated and the thought terrifies me sometimes. I need to have him show me the ways that I believe his body is wired for, dark and dangerous. He doesn’t know I realize what he wants, what he has to have in his life. Perhaps he could never care for me. It isn’t just that I’m a woman, but that I’m timid and scared to try anything new. I yearn to have his strong arms keep me safe and to teach me how to pleasure him, to give to him and to them everything they want and to become what they all need. In truth, what I need. I so long to tell him, but I can never. They’ll think badly of me. They’ll think of me as depraved. But I can dream. Oh, how I can dream.
Well…you know how I feel now 🙂