So I’ve mentioned more than a few times about spanking and writing spankings into my books. You know what’s interesting? Truly giving you as a reader the notion and understanding about spankings is not as easy as you might think. To be able to put the right words highlighting everything from the moments of anticipation to the aspects of real pain inflicted is really thought provoking. I also know that talking about someone who understands HOW to spank is also daunting. In a Domestic Discipline situation the concept of bare handed spanking is often the choice. InD/s there is an entire grouping of implements used and each has special purposes of just how much pain is indeed inflicted. Writing about something that we haven’t tried in this aspect is…
I think that we as writers have to try and bring reality when we really take a jaunt into something we have no clue about. However, what does remain is the basic concept that people are very excited about a touch of kink. They just are. It’s that hush-hush situation that we can’t TALK about with our conservative friends. OH NO. That would get us some black mark somewhere, wouldn’t it? I tell you what. You’d be very surprised what your neighbors are not only reading but what they’re participating in…
BDSM and a touch of kink isn’t weird at all. Psychologists have addressed this issue for a long time and certainly more recently given the popularity of Fifty Shades. I’ve been not only a firm believer but an advocate of couples (doesn’t matter same sex or heterosexual) try a bit of something kinky. It doesn’t have to be hogtieing and flogging. This can mean the more vanilla laced kink that might include handcuffs and a paddle. There’s nothing wrong with exploring. There’s also nothing wrong with wanting to try something a bit out there.
Every time I talk about my very popular book, On Becoming His, the one thing readers have stated about the hero in Fifty Shades is that the guy just isn’t likable and not an every day man. He seems self-centered and out for himself. Well, maybe that’s the kind of guy he is. But your guy or your lovely lady and you probably are every day folks just in the doldrums of your relationship and need a touch of spice. Okay, how about a little spanking? Have you ever truly thought about doing it? I have such respect for men and women who engage in this lifestyle and there are times I know I don’t do even the concept of pain very well.
I tell you what, in penning my BDSM stories and talking with women (and some men too) I can honestly see how many REALLY want to be tied down and taken roughly. Oh yeah. No more of the missionary positions for them, let me tell you. They want to be taken from behind, taken in the ass and told what to do, all with a little hair pulling. Sounds yummy to me. They long to be dominated totally submitting completely – yet few really understands what this means.
I write highly erotic books that deal with all aspects of passion including BDSM, voyeurism, public display, ménage and same sex. Included of course are more vanilla aspects of kink including spanking. Now, probably all of us have swatted our partner a time or two on their ass during a heated moment but what if you craved more? What if the very thought of being disciplined set your soul on fire and sent quivers dancing into your pussy? What if the anticipation of him coming home, expecting you to be in position on the edge of the bed, naked and waiting for exactly what you crave forces trickles down your spine? Hmmm…I think the thought is very tasty. This is something you have to talk about of course, but my guess is you’re going to find many people that really want to try this. Come on, fess us here.
For those that desire more than a subtle slap, (and yes a hell of a lot of us do) it’s perhaps difficult to tell our partners that we long for them to take control and issue discipline on more than just an occasional basis. And there are some that enjoy the lifestyle of maintenance spankings once or twice a week and punishment spankings when necessary and the naughty girls or boys sometimes misbehave on purpose. What kind of spankings are we talking about? Sometimes the preferred method is over the knee and usually with a bare bottom. For some reason having your man hold you down while his hand strikes your ass over and over again until you whimper and beg him to stop seems like the total moment of submission to his control as head of the household.
I penned two entirely different stories and one – Spankdown, had critics going – too many spankings. She couldn’t have taken that many. Hey, if you practice a lot then you can so I don’t buy that. The other, Forced Fantasies – really took the thought out to the extreme and some of the whippings or floggings were rather brutal. BUT keep in mind that everyone who participates in this kind of lifestyle or playtime has to talk about what they expect. You can hurt someone if you don’t know what you’re doing or if you’re not careful and listen to your partner.
I’ve done f/f ones as well and they are different in their nature only slightly. The Domme is very much in charge and at times her methodology is even harsher. But punishment and the use of floggers, whips and the dreaded hardboard paddle should be used with prudence in mind. I honestly believe most people who really plan on using anything other than their bare hand need to be trained. Harming and not hurting your partner can indeed happen.
There are many people who truly enjoy trying one way and then another and that’s really how you’re going to learn what you like and what you can tolerate, both as the receiver and the giver. There are some who like the traditional over the knee method. There’s something very sensual about that level of control I think – almost like you’re really the bad little girl who needs to be taught a lesson. Then there are others that prefer an all fours position to enable the implement to be swung at just the right speed. Many couples are very creative in their tools and not only does their collection include belts and paddles, but spoons, spatulas and floggers as well. Others also like canes and even the use of switches. Can you imagine watching him cut a very green twig and you know it’s going to strike your naked ass soon enough and your cunt clenches in delicious anticipation?
Whatever you decide as a couple, there’s no right or wrong way, simply what you both enjoy and crave to do. Try something a bit out there this weekend and see what kind of passion it brings you. You might just be surprised how it sasses up your entire romance. A little heat on the ass never hurt anybody did it? No pun intended.
I hope you have some very wicked thoughts now…