On Becoming a Dom…Letting Go

Letting go. Wow, that can be more difficult for all of us than you think. Don’t you harbor secrets or fears you really don’t want anyone else to know about? I’m working on finishing up my second in the On Becoming His collection – Lessons Learned – and it’s amazing on so many levels as I gear up to hit “the end”. First of all I so love this story. These characters are truly special to my heart and soul. They come alive for me in every passage and Jessie is so very much like me – brassy and willful, another hold 2opinionated and sassy. Luke is now a compilation of a couple of friends I know who are seeking to find their own inner piece about becoming a Dom. And they are both struggling. The one aspect about both of them is that they are what most people would consider to be gentlemen Dom’s. In other words they don’t want to be sadistic in any manner. Now, I’m not suggesting that many or even few are. I’m simply saying in this case, Luke is truly struggling with the kind of Dom he wants to be not only for Jessie, but also for himself.

What started out as some basic flash pieces that were very telling about each of their personalities turned into something else. You see Luke holds a secret dear to his heart, one he hasn’t been able to tell Jessie about and you know women. We KNOW when men are hiding something. So for her, she’s unable to truly cross the last threshold and completely let herself go with him – be one hundred percent devoted. Think about it – could you let yourself go totally if you have a tiny minute of doubt – self or otherwise? I don’t think you can. Domination and submission is all about trust.

What kind of a secret could be so troubling for him that Luke can’t let himself go and in a sense trust Jessie? Well, you’re going to have to read the book to find out but rest assured, the angst he feels with himself will give you a much better insight as to the depth of his love for her. I’m going to be guesting on a blog later this week and it’s all about love in a D/s relationship. It’s been a question lately about could you be in one without love. For me, I know I couldn’t. I can’t simply scene and enjoy. I do like playtime, but when I give my devotion to a man I have to love as well as trust him completely. For Luke and Jessie, love is paramount and when they continue to struggle with the most basic notions of behavior, well then they are both thrown into an emotional upheaval. I think that’s true with any love relationship – when you are hiding something you can’t be yourself at all and your partner is going to know it.

That’s what’s going on with Jessie. She’s troubled and she has no idea why, other than her suspicions he’s keeping something vital from her. So what happens with her afterpersonality? She becomes more willful, acting out and in a sense vying for his attention. She doesn’t even realize she’s doing this and in turn, Luke is getting more and more frustrated with her. And so the push pull effect is full force with them. Luke is challenging her level of devotion and Jessie keeps saying she is – ah but are either of them truly devoted?

I think for any D/s couple they will have issues with letting go completely. That’s why the journey is there and will be there for years to come. I don’t think any couple sets out in either a D/s relationship or vanilla and can learn everything immediately. There’s no way you can know or learn everything. And the process can be filled with strife and worries, personal fears and moments from the past that truly keep the couple from getting close. So what do you do? My personal opinion is that for any D/s relationship to truly be successful you have to break down every barrier, telling secrets and fears, worries and frustrations. There has to be open lines of communication. For most of us, opening up and telling our deep, dark secrets is difficult and especially when we think we were in the wrong.

For Luke, the moment is driving him into being another man and he can’t forgive himself. The growing these two have done I think you’re going to read from page one. She’s still unsure of her wants and desires and her vulnerability shows in her writings and her words. I so respect a D/s relationship and during the many conversations I’ve had with both experienced Dom’s and those just beginning their own personal journey, I’ve realized how amazing their lives have been. They are much more grounded as men and the allowance they’ve given themselves about what they need, not just about what they want, is truly incredible. I think if more men felt free to talk about their Dom side or their sub side, relationships in general would be a lot easier. Hmmm… I changed up the synopsis for Lessons Learned. I hope to have this released in about two weeks so I’ll keep you informed.

Kisses   xxx

Cassandre

ON BECOMING HIS – LESSONS LEARNED

Jezebel Waters and Luke Brennan entered into a D/s life together, exploring and learning the sacred concepts of trust, love, understanding, willingness to please, submission and utter devotion. Their journey was ongoing and in her mind, she embraced every aspect, including control — his control. Luke was a strict disciplinarianon-becoming-his-book-3-revised-march-no-ben-500x800 but also a passionate mate, who gave her his entire heart, soul and most importantly – his total acceptance of all of her. In turn, she was required to give him every aspect of herself, no matter what he asked. There were challenges along the way and while Jessie was committed to obeying, she was after all, willful. But there were reasons… Luke was hiding things from her.

Luke was a haunted man, one who held a secret close to his heart, and his past threatened to derail everything they shared together. Questioning his ability as her Dom had become a daily event and in turn he was disputing her devotion. During a course of events, both Luke and Jessie were required to face their respective demons as they moved forward into the world of BDSM, including an entrance into the dark world he’d left behind years before. His greatest fear? Losing her forever when she discovered his secret.

Share the story of Jessie and Luke as they continue on an emotional journey. For Jessie she must delve deep into her psyche, not only beginning to understand her willingness to become Luke’s submissive in every way. She also must comprehend exactly what the new beginning would entail — trust and control. For Luke, he must learn to balance his need to have devotion and obedience with patience. Jessie’s struggles to embrace every aspect of the lifestyle, forced him to face the fact he was still a man, one very much in love as well as vulnerable. True love somehow refuses to be denied.

On Becoming His, the first in the series, introduces you to Jessie and Luke. On Becoming Her Sir, will further delve into their exploration of the lifestyle and the challenges they both must face, both personally and together as a couple as they move deeper into aspects of D/s as well as BDSM. Can they survive the pitfalls to obtain what few ever achieve, the most committed and very powerful of relationships? Only their continued journey will tell…

The journey will never end. It is only the beginning…

 

About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
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