Oh… a difficult and controversial topic, isn’t it? It’s come up more and more lately in discussions too. I think social media does have an effect. We’ve all been tempted and have had certain sexy “discussions” with someone else. Sometimes the conversations get heated. I’ve had them. For some couples, this is too much. I have a friend who is going through a divorce right now because her husband was having – not
sexting – but just talking conversations. I’ve not one to believe THAT is too much but again, every couple is different.
Having an affair isn’t something new and men and women find the thought and the hunger somewhat irresistible. Why? Of course it’s the concept of having someone sexy and new and the thrill and possible terror of being discovered is something the boils our blood and is uninhibited enough the thought alone is highly erotic. You have to admit that you’ve seen a man or woman on the street and found yourself having a wild fantasy about what it would be like to slip unknown into a hotel, rent the room for a day and engage is hours of passion. Gives me the tingles all over.
I talk a lot about finding and sharing the joys of passion and sex with your current partner. Obviously if you’re married you hope you can share everything with your husband or wife including those dark desires and secret cravings we all have buried deep inside but what I’ve found doing research over the past couple of years and talking to happy and troubled couples is so many have no idea how to talk to each other. They grow apart not only because of family and work obligations but because they fear what their mate is going to say to them about their needs. Every man and woman grows with their needs for passion. I’m certainly no different. As an erotic writer while I get to play our some of my wildest fantasies on the pages of a hot romance, it doesn’t mean I don’t hunger for some of what I write about – okay you kinky minded individuals SOME of what I write about. Mmm… Fun to fantasize, isn’t it?
Think about reading a sexy book. Why do we do it? Because we want to find the blissful feeling we dream about or perhaps had before in a previous relationship or in your current relationship but only years before. You can live out your desires with the rough-hewn man and an island setting and no one is going to think badly of you. Now let’s add in social media to the mix. I’m not sure who isn’t on either Facebook or a yahoo group or basic email corresponding back and forth with a member or the opposite sex. Add in texting, sexting, camera phones and twitter and you have a heated bit of passion brewing literally at your fingertips.
Let’s face it, you can be anyone you want to be on the Internet. I can’t tell you how many times I am friended by someone on facebook who seems legit with pictures including pictures of their family for Christ’s sake only to find out later they are NOT who they claim to be. Oh I’m not stupid and the fifth marriage proposal for the day does nothing but turn my stomach. These aren’t the kinds of saucy little relationships I’m talking about. You can also friend good friends who you share something in common with and develop lasting friendships for years. Truly I have met some of my best friends on line and hope to be involved with their life for years to come. There are some sites dedicated to kink, such as Fet Life, and you can really allow your wild side out. It’s a fun place to learn more about writing kink and I have met some nice folks – and some interesting people as well.
You can also meet some pretty sexy members of the opposite sex and flirt you little &%$ off. And yes it’s perfectly healthy to do it. I have several buddies – guy friends – that are tasty treats and I love flirting with them but we know there’s a line we won’t cross and we have no desire to cause our respective mates cause for concern. Then there are a few that…well I have to admit I’ve had a fantasy or two about. You get to know them, you trade stories and perhaps real pictures and it’s passionate. They give you that taste of something you long for – to be liked. It hasn’t changed since we were in school. We need to be appreciated.
I pen a lot of stories about meeting someone on line and allowing a relationship to develop. Don’t get me wrong – I haven’t written about breaking up a marriage and don’t plan on it. Not condoning the activity but I can tell you that affairs occur every day based on meeting in a social media situation. When you find that sexy guy on line that seems to be perfect and you consider engaging in something naughty – just remember, he also leaves his clothes on the floor and forgets to take out the trash and sometimes forgets to put the toilet seat down. In other words, the grass is always greener, right? Talk to your spouse and kick up the heat. Even if it’s something simple like leaving a note in their briefcase – have an affair with your husband.
Rent a room, purchase something from Victoria’s Secret and snag a candle or two. You just might be surprised at the excitement surging between you. Life is too short so enjoy every day with the ones you love and rediscover him or her. I think taking the time might just be a great investment. Oh, and read a sexy book or poem to each other as well as stay off the social media for a little while. There is nothing like a good fantasy, but create one that will REALLY give you the heat.
I so hope you enjoyed and have a great week.