I think we all struggle in a marriage. We long to have the relationship just like it was in the beginning and sadly, so many times we end up arguing over all the little things. I have said so many times I believe the balance of power has shifted and not necessarily in a good way. One has to be in charge – in my opinion. What if all the equality in the world didn’t work and you were headed for divorce? Do you think you’d try something out of the vanilla laced world? Could you? Hmmmm…
Domestic discipline isn’t for everyone. The thought of being taken in hand, spanked or otherwise punished when you’ve broken a rule is a tough pill to shallow for some. But what if you could garner more intimacy and a closeness much like you had in the beginning or perhaps never had? What if allowing him to be in charge took away some of your stresses. What if…
My first Domestic Discipline piece and I have a trilogy so please enjoy the first taste of…
“Damn it! Why is every night like this?”
“Cause you’re a jerk off,” Shannon Parker said under her breath. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Loathing her husband and calling him names seemed like sport lately, one she relished in and seemed to be winning. Snickering, she could tell David was swearing under his breath.
Cringing, she stood staring out the living room bay window, a myriad of ugly thoughts racing in the back of her mind. She glanced toward the doorway and held up her middle finger, anger boiling within her. I fucking hate you.
“You’re such a bitch lately.”
“Shut up!” she screeched and fisted her forehead. God, she wanted to punch him. The sad truth she was behaving like one. She could hear David rustling in the kitchen, opening and closing cabinet doors, the sounds somehow wafting above the music blaring on the CD player. Of course he wasn’t just washing and drying utensils and placing them in the drawers. He was yanking open every one, throwing every spoon and knife, dish or glass inside before slamming the door or the drawer, cursing in a low and husky tone every time. But she could still hear his angry exclamations. Asshole. For a minute she thought about storming into the kitchen and telling him to his face. Any additional insolence would only escalate another fight. Now she debated.
“You shut up!”
David was pissed tonight, frustration brimming in every word since he’d gotten home. Then again, his moods had been getting darker over the last several months as their relationship continued to deteriorate. Her husband was a different man than the one she’d married. And, she was am unconventional woman, one her husband couldn’t seem to tolerate.
She shook her head, trying her best to keep the nasty words she was thinking from brimming to the surface. Another argument wasn’t going to do either one of them any good, or their nearly destroyed relationship, but Goddamn it he could push every fucking button. Calm down. Just calm down. She glanced over at her glass of red wine and for the life of her, the color made her think of death. Maybe the fact her mother had recently died had something to do with her moments of raw angst. Sadly, her bouts of lashing out at David, blaming him for practically everything that had gone wrong lately had been increasing as well. They were on a collision course to separation. There wasn’t any doubt in her mind. There were days she didn’t give a shit and others she was on the brink of balling her eyes out. Her emotions were all over the place, her sensitivity level so high David couldn’t seem to say anything right. At least to her.
A rattled sigh escaping her lips, she reached over and grabbed her wine glass, nearly pushing the dense crystal over onto David’s CD collection. Snorting, she could only imagine just how infuriated he’d be if some of his precious music collection was ruined. Taking a sip and then a gulp of her wine, she shivered from hearing him cursing again. That’s all he seemed to do lately, curse. And all she could do was call him names – horrible, vile names. She palmed the glass with one hand as she shook her head. Their life barely two years before had been different, happy. Well, mostly happy.
When did the ugliness start? The arguments were created out of nothing, ending up so horrific and totally off the radar. Day after day they screamed at each other until the wee hours of the morning. Why? When had she spent the first night crying herself to sleep? When was the first time she’d contemplated leaving? The answers weren’t easy to come by. Neither were the reasons why. They’d simply fallen into a bitter trap, one not unlike several sets of close married couples. So many of their friends were either embroiled in divorce or getting close to ending whatever relationship they were in.
Closing her eyes, she could still remember the love, the passion and the fun she and David had shared together. In the beginning they’d been so much in love, unable to keep their hands off each other. Life had never been perfect but right now, there was nothing they shared that was enjoyable any longer. Nothing. Their relationship was simply a tumultuous mess.
Shannon took another sip of her wine, realizing her hand was shaking to the point beads of merlot was trickling down the side of the glass. Her heart skipping, she drove back tears along with her anger, afraid of starting another fight. Tonight was supposed to be about enjoying dinner together and not a boxing match, but every time they shared space or had heated discussions, a battle seemed to ensue. Every day was a new conversation about bills and her constant spending, her laziness around the house or so much of his time spent with his friends.
God, she was tired, exhausted from sparring over nothing. She could hear him grumbling in the background and a part of her wanted to grab a bag and her keys and leaved the house, him and her fake life forever. Fake. The ugly word was the only way to describe the moments revolved around the clock lately.
She turned back toward the window, her emotions running high. For a brief minute she closed her eyes, imaging another life, one filled with joy and peace and passion and…
“Are you going to help me finish the dishes or not?”
Shannon’s eyes snapped open. She exhaled and the ugly sound was ragged. Just say yes. Just make peace. “Sure.”
David snorted. “Or are you too busy drinking your wine?”
He always cut her down, no matter what she was doing or not doing. “Damn it! Why do you always do that?” Turning to face him, she gave him a horrible sneer. He was looming in the doorway. Jesus.
“Stop acting like a child. If you’d help me more then I wouldn’t have to push you.”
“Push me? I do the lion’s share of work around here since you’re always working.” Shannon’s eyes flashed. “When was the last time you did a load of laundry or ran the vacuum? Do you even know how to turn the damn thing on?” When her tirade was met with silence she hissed. “See.”
“Fine. Have it your way. Somehow you always manage to get what you want anyway.” David stalked back into the kitchen.
Her legs trembling, she swore under her breath. Fuck you. She wasn’t good any longer at making the peace but tonight she was exhausted from extra hours at work and simply not getting enough sleep. Clenching her fist, she held out her glass and shook her head. He knew how to push her buttons every time. The fight wasn’t worth fighting. Resigned, she shook her head, polished off her glass of wine and walked back into the kitchen. Where was love? They certainly seemed to have a lot of hate.
What lengths would you go to save your marriage?
Shannon Parker loved her husband with all her heart but every day they seemed to be growing further apart. Married to David for almost ten years, their relationship was loveless and they were constantly bickering. Unfortunately she couldn’t stop blaming him for all their problems and she suspected the bitter arguments were pushing him into the arms of another woman. When she confronted him with her thoughts, her ugly words screamed during a heated battle, he threatened to leave, sending her into a tirade of nasty innuendos.
At her wits end, a chance encounter with an old friend gave Shannon an unconventional idea and one she’d never considered. After days of contemplation, she knew this might be their last hope at reconciliation. Determined to win David back, Shannon suggested a change – domestic discipline – into their household. Confused and unsure of the idea, David spent a full week reading about the lifestyle. Making a difficult decision, the first day of the rest of their life brought about excitement as well as apprehension, yet she refused to go back on her word. And when David texted her reminding her of the night’s discipline, she entered into hours of heated anticipation. Could their love survive alternating the balance of power?
I hope you enjoyed
It’s out kids and early! Here is the ARe link