Okay I am a very willful woman. I’ve heard that so many times I could scream, but I tend to agree that I am. What does that mean? Well for me its that I say what’s on my mind, do what I think I need to do and never stop to think about the consequences. Sometimes I do that. We all have to think about consequences in our lives but for me I tend to challenge those around me at certain turns. That doesn’t bode well in a D/s relationship. It just doesn’t. As I continue to explore and take my personal journey into D/s I hear the concept constantly. You’re too willful. I sigh.
Some Dom’s say they need to tame me while others say they need to break me. I don’t know about you but being broken means your spirit is taken. I don’t want that. I want to be a very vivacious submissive who gives all of herself to her Dom. I want to have a bit of my voice in what I am as a human and I want to continue to write. Men or Dom’s ask me if I’m more of a slave or a submissive and I don’t think I’d make a good slave. Yes, there are significant differences. I long to please and serve, but I do need to have aspects of me remaining that I don’t think would be tolerated as a slave.
I had a very interesting set of questions from a practiced Dom posed to me recently and I thought I’d share. Now, these are the kinds of questions you might get when considering a new Dom, perhaps one currently living with a submissive or slave. I think for anyone who truly is considering the lifestyle, the questions are thought provoking. I will use some of these in writing as well. My books about BDSM I long to reflect the reality around D/s, not the sugar coated flavoring that I continue to read about in magazines and in some books, that of certain documentaries and what will be – no doubt in my mind – the way Fifty Shades is presented in film. So here are the questions. First I’ll give you a question I posed to him:
Within the parameters of your current relationship – what do you feel are the most important aspects for both of you? His answer? trust, love, devotion, support, dom/sub, Master/slave…she is tpe so I control all aspects of every part of her daily life
Honestly, I was glad to see this answer. He and I have talked and it was his submissive who contacted me first, offering what might be sharing a life with them. They both know I write and that’s mostly what I’m doing but we are exchanging ideas and good conversation. Here are his questions to me – and I won’t answer them for you but I think anyone in the lifestyle or considering D/s should think about them.
1. Are you wanting to be trained as a slave? Describe more about your desires if wanting to be trained. If not then describe being a submissive to me?
2. Have you knelt before for a Master or Dom? If so when and when released
3. I have 50 rules for my training and what would be your obedience to me … does this set of rules concern you?
4. Your biggest desires in this space to explore but have not done so far?
5. Once you accept my rules (we discuss and may modify) I am strict with you following them. Or you will be disciplined. Are you fine with this arrangement? if not why?
6. Describe your best and worst parts of you?
8. Describe you training in the past? What you like or didn’t like?
9. Biggest concerns and likes about being in this space?
10. Do you have tattoos, piercings, brandings, etc on your body? Also any of those you would like or not want on you in future?
Thought provoking questions, don’t you think? When I read these – and yes I did answer honestly – I thought again about the fact I’m so willful and have to wonder whether I could fit into these parameters. I do think it would take a strong Dom to know how to train me – and most importantly have patience with me – LOTS of patience LOL. Those of you who know me are shaking your heads. This gives me many things to think about as I continue my journey and I think will continue to help with my writing of the incredible world. Now, would you care to answer the questions for me? Hmm…