Well I say when isn’t but this is more about what some call maintenance spankings. I was talking to a friend of mine about how discipline is handled in his household and whether or not he practices this kind of discipline. He said no, he only give his wife a spanking when she needs it, which is generally once a week. I guess that makes sense. I think for me I would need a few more a week than that. I am quite mouthy LOL. What I have learned is that this is sometimes how couples handle the power exchange in their household right from the get go. Think about it – if you’ve lived a fairly vanilla life as a couple with both being semi-in charge, turning over control might be pretty difficult. I know for me I am generally the one some might think of as being in control. I think when you have a profession that is in a managerial role and you generally make whatever decisions you want when you want in your personal life you’re going to have trouble when authority is taken away.
I write about domestic discipline and Dom/sub relationships and am constantly talking and trying to learn more about the lifestyle. Most of you who are going to read this blog already know I’ve written so much about D/s. I enjoy the topic tremendously, long to be in a committed D/s or DD relationship and strive to write about the topic in a somewhat knowledgeable fashion. I came across a blog recently in which the couple not only practices regular maintenance spankings but puts a little twist in the way they do it.
For those of you who might not understand what I’m talking about – in a Domestic Discipline relationship where the man is HOH (Head of Household) and different methods of discipline are used including spankings – sometimes on a regular basis.
The twist is that every morning right after she gets out of the shower she is given a whipping to send her on her way with the understanding that her husband is very much in control. They never vary and no matter where they are, vacation or staying with friends, they take this time together in which he talks to her about her behavior and allows her to comment on how she’s feeling – tension in their relationship or issues with her job – then tells her how much he loves her and wants to help her deal with the stresses, allowing her to be the woman she longs to be. The spankings are painful and he normally uses his hand on her wet bottom.
At first I thought – wow that’s got to become so routine after awhile that it’s not going to have the effect her husband wants. What both told me was that for her, the few minutes over his knee is the best part of her day. She felt more centered and grounded and when adverse situations arose throughout the day she personally felt more in control of them. In this case both couples work in fairly stressful environments. She mentioned she used to be so tense at work and at home that all they did as a couple was argue. Her professional life was suffering as well and for them, something had to give.
They are very much like the couple I write about in the first of my DD trilogy – Anticipation in that they were headed for divorce given the fact they couldn’t get along. In this case it was the husband who read about the lifestyle and suggested moving into DD. When they began their journey they almost failed miserably and were separated for a little while. What she told me is that she really pushed hard against him and against herself too. It took some serious soul searching on her part to be able to accept giving up control – TPE or total power exchange. She suggested they try again and yes, did they flounder for a few months – you bet. But after awhile they fell into a routine. She said that the moment he read about and suggested a spanking every morning, always across his knees naked, she balked at first but within two weeks her entire demeanor changed.
I really had to think about this when I was putting together a few notes for my second in the series – Decision – in which the couple now really has pitfalls – I took this into consideration. Imagine getting out of bed every morning, taking a shower and wrapping a towel around your body, going to find your husband and dropping the towel. You talk and discuss what’s happening and why you throw tantrums or cuss or whatever, then you lie across his knees feeling very safe and loved. Mmm… I think it would certainly start my day off in a different manner. I can see driving to work, squirming in my seat and remembering that I am a better woman because of the love and trust I have built with my partner and the understanding that he has my best interests at heart. Sounds primitive but the trust and love in relationships often times is taken for granted. For me, I do strongly believe a man should be in charge of the household and I can imagine how freeing sharing this method of control would be.
So I’m thinking… Tell me your thoughts. If you’re in a DD or D/s relationship, do you practice regular spankings or other methods of discipline or do you simply handle the infractions as they come along? Every couple is different and as with every relationship you find a happy balance with regard to what works and what doesn’t. For me – I think this would be a very good method to in a sense remind me who is in charge.
Hope you enjoyed.
What lengths would you go to save your marriage?
Shannon Parker loved her husband with all her heart but every day they seemed to be growing further apart. Married to David for almost ten years, their relationship was loveless and they were constantly bickering. Unfortunately she couldn’t stop blaming him for all their problems and she suspected the bitter arguments were pushing him into the arms of another woman. When she confronted him with her thoughts, her ugly words screamed during a heated battle, he threatened to leave, sending her into a tirade of nasty innuendos.
At her wits end, a chance encounter with an old friend gave Shannon an unconventional idea and one she’d never considered. After days of contemplation, she knew this might be their last hope at reconciliation. Determined to win David back, Shannon suggested a change – domestic discipline – into their household. Confused and unsure of the idea, David spent a full week reading about the lifestyle. Making a difficult decision, the first day of the rest of their life brought about excitement as well as apprehension, yet she refused to go back on her word. And when David texted her reminding her of the night’s discipline, she entered into hours of heated anticipation. Could their love survive alternating the balance of power?