Alternative LIfestyles…Spanking and Menage Oh My

Mmmm – a hard spanking is good for the blood, right? How about a sexy ménage or as a girlfriend says – the cream between the two oreo cookies. Now, that’s what I’m talkin’ about.

Getting ready to go to Fandomfest in a few days and looking at the different panels I’m going to be on. One is titled Love and Sex for Geeks and I had to laugh. What the panel is really about is spicing up our works as we writer. Ya’ll know I don’t need a taste before the partymuch spicing, now do I? Seriously thought I write a lot about alternative lifestyles and find that so many people are interested in reading about Domestic Discipline and spanking, the use of the flogger and submitting to someone on a full time basis. Mmm… Lovely thoughts this morning, eh? Well love and passion are vital for all of us and I enjoy writing about both – as well as kink. I hope to convey to the audience that’s its more than okay to want something a bit wild, a touch rough. You have to explore as a couple or things are going to go stale.

I think you need to indulge in love in so many ways all throughout the year. Having said that, there are several kinds of relationships that might seem out of the ordinary to some of us. Perhaps they include aspects of a mere touch of kink – like spanking and the occasional use of sex toys, or maybe you and your partner or two have delved deeper, succumbing to what some call darker desires. I obviously write highly erotic pieces including same sex, heterosexual, ménage, public display, voyeurism and BDSM and I enjoy bringing these alternative concepts to my readers. Talking about some forms of kink is still a bit hush hush and when you can hide behind a computer or kindle screen, you’re allowed to indulge in your own private fantasies.

For many avid participants and lifestylers in the BDSM world, sometimes what they read as far as BDSM pieces written by writers who may or may not practice, gives them pause. We’ve all read stories, which seem to indicate nestled within pages are aspects of BDSM, when in truth it’s more about an occasional spanking – that’s not BDSM. I’ve had several of my pieces critiqued in certain ways but what I’ve learned menagefrom reading, talking to people involved in certain methodologies and those who train others in the D/s lifestyle, there are also flavors within the realm. For many readers they only want something a bit kinky, not the full-blown scene, but you have to respect the audience in which you’re writing for. You have to be careful what you write about and certainly try and learn about the scenario before you pen it.

In my writing, I enjoy delving into giving the reader something tasty to contemplate and perhaps the courage. One thing that I very much enjoy writing about is having men and women explore the possibilities and stretch their comfort zone with people they can trust. Trust is without a doubt the number one aspect of any BDSM lifestyle and I’m not going to get into particular specifics today. From nipple clamps to spanking, domestic discipline to slave play – there’s much to learn and much to enjoy.

I think we all have our own series of fantasies and whether you can share them openly with your partner or not, you long to be able to try something, to taste something. Without a doubt, you have to be honest with your partner. If trying something like BDSM is something you want to experience, you have to know what you want and what you’re getting into. I know — it’s tough to do. One of my recent releases tells the story about a woman who craves so many things and hides them in her diary for fear she’ll be labeled weird. What she really hungers for is a polyamory lifestyle. Polyamory? That’s sharing your life with more than one significant partner. It’s a growing community and the relationships seem to be highly revered. Granted, it’s not for everyone but for some the concept is loving and financially rewarding as well.

Many D/s couples sometimes share a third, but not as a live in. They indulge in truly opening up with another person they respect and trust and engage in very carnal activities. The joy of being able to share passion and sex and allowing the concept because of the level of trust is amazing. I applaud couples who can do this. There’s no jealousy involved. Would I – you bet. I feel confident in myself as a woman and as such would enjoy and savor something so delicious.

I find in attending these conferences I have people so shy to ask me questions, as if trying to find out more about BDSM or various methods of discipline is wrong. Trust me folks, embracing that you crave a spanking or other forms of punishment or long to share a threesome is very healthy indeed. You just have to feel confident in both yourself and your partner. What do you think, could you do it?

If any of you are going to be around in the Louisville area, Fandomfest if being held at the Galt Hotel and the convention center attached. It’s a great time with more than just us kinky authors. I’d love to see you. I’ll be selling books with fellow author Christian Jensen and showing off our rather kinky collaborations so come join in the fun. You NEVER know what might happen. I hear spanking will be involved.

I’ll leave you with the new blurb for the second in my domestic discipline piece – Decision coming in September.

Kisses   xxx


Oh and how about talking to your partner about a spanking today?


Honor and obey. Those were the two words Shannon Parker had committed to when signing the contract and entering into an alternative lifestyle with her husband. Embracing the challenges of domestic discipline with David was without a doubt a last ditch effort to save their crumbling marriage. Discipline and a strict regimen Decision_Cover-smallhelped her focus and for a few weeks everything was almost perfect. Almost. Then she began to unravel, the willful and highly opinionated woman she’d been bleeding through her newfound restraints. She needed more from him and he simply wasn’t available, so she made a series of choices. Now there was a new word and it was ugly. Betrayal.

David was confused, concerned about his growing resentment toward her lack of obedience and his need to take more control. Instead of being the mentor and teacher she so craved, he was nothing more than an argumentative spouse, allowing Shannon to break the rules. His business booming, time restraints alone kept him for pursuing his dominant role. But there was more. Guilt. Something he was going to have to face in an effort to bring them closer together. When her behavior became increasingly childish, he was determined to tame her – until one fateful night, one that opened his eyes to the woman hiding behind an obvious mask.

A damaged marriage, broken trust and two souls bent on achieving more. Coming to terms with the state of their marriage wasn’t easy, and the decision made was difficult as well as life changing yet again. Finally, they both had to face haunting secrets. Was it too late to save something so precious?


About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
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