BDSM…The Experience of a Kink Club

I was talking to a friend of mine recently, one I met of course on a kinky social networking site called Fet Life. For those of you who don’t know Fet Life is very similar to Facebook except that it’s a secure and private location for both those who live the lifestyle as well as for writers and artists who long to learn about BDSM, D/s etc. Caveat here – there are a lot of people on there strictly looking for – guess what? Sex. But you can smell those a mile away. I have my share of guys who talk to me for this particular reason and while I’m polite I push them off. For all the weirdos there are also just lonely men and women looking to connect. Then there are some wonderful folks who do engage in either 24/7 with living the lifestyle or who play with their partner and sometimes with others. They allow me a glimpse into their world to enable me to write about some aspects. They are the most honest and open group of people I’ve ever met. They know I’m an author and the questions they seem to enjoy because they realize I’ve trying to portray their world accurately.

While I don’t live it or even play in the zone, I respect and I’ve been open on my blogs. I would enjoy learning more. That’s no secret. I am a passionate woman with many layers and the writing has allowed me to open up to myself as well as to others. Anyway, in talking with my friend, a man who I highly respect, he mentioned he’d been craving trying a kink club for years. There are BDSM clubs in almost every country and some are very well known. Take the one in Washington DC for example, the Crucible is very well known, highly respected and by invitation only and ultimately you have to be a member to be able to play. There are strict rules you follow and they take no crap – meaning everything you do with your partner or with others in completely consensual. I belong to their group on Fet Life and take a peek when they announce certain parties. Have I considered going? You bet. Have I? No, and in truth I don’t think I would be interested in what they call scening, but I’ll reserve my final decision until after I attend an event. Scening is where you can take a taste of something like being flogged or fire cupping in a secure environment. You may or may not know the flogger, but you can truly get a taste of something delicious.

My friend did go to one in Colorado and he loved it. He is a switch and enjoyed being spanked by a woman he’d also met on Fet Life, subsequently meeting her in RL – Real Life. He was able to let go, becoming completely uninhibited and truly fell in a zone of pleasure and pain. He said there was nothing more freeing for him that night than NOT being the man who was more vanilla laced in real life. He was planning on going to a club closer to where he lived. He and I talked about the Crucible and had some thought about going together – more to watch the experience than anything. I still haven’t been able to take that step yet.

But I can certainly see doing that. You know how I enjoy the aspects of spanking. I gleaned quite a bit from his experience for my writing and I’m trying to put his thoughts and visions into my upcoming BDSM m/m collection called Sin City. It’s truly going to be a gritty telling of an all male club for very wealthy men in Las Vegas. And of course things go a bit awry.

These clubs sound incredible to me, being able to let go and enjoy a kinky experience. Some are set up with different “stations” for different aspects of BDSM. From spanking benches to the “X” cross and fire cupping. Fire cupping is the art and practice of dousing a cotton ball with alcohol, lighting it as you place under a cup and placing on the human skin creating a vacuum. This was initially a practice of therapy and adopted by the BDSM community. I must say the concept sounds very intriguing but I would certainly only enjoy this with someone I trusted immensely.

Right now the Crucible is offering Dungeon 101 coming up for newbies longing to experience some of the toys and techniques so they are actually having a class and demonstrations. You don’t have to be a member at this point. The more experienced kinksters come out after 11:00 pm and “play”. When I say play I do mean very open sexuality and sharing. You can find a partner, multiple partners, be tied, teased, spanked, flogged, chained and yes fucked by anyone. Respect is the number one aspect here and your behavior is monitored carefully. They don’t have a strict dress code so you can wear your birthday suit and a trench coat if you want to. You can bring your own toy bag and enjoy playing.

I can only imagine the thrill of joining in, meeting people with the same mindset and those longing to try something out of their comfort zone. I think allowing myself to indulge would certainly change the way I look at sex and playtime. Wouldn’t it do that for you? Kink clubs aren’t for everyone of course. I will admit if I continue delving more into writing about the lifestyle I will need to visit a club. Yes, I’m smiling here. Will I learn, ask questions and enjoy watching? My God yes. Will I join in? Mmm… If I told ya I’d have to kill ya.

I hope you’ve enjoyed a taste and close your eyes and imagine going to one of these clubs with your partner, husband, girlfriend or even best friend. I think you’ll get a lot closer. Don’t you?

Purr and spanks babies…

Cassandre