Sin… I do so love the word.
When was the last time you closed your eyes and said – “I want to fuck him”? I know, a question on this Sunday morning, right? Come on ladies. I did that just the other day about not one man but three. The sandwich cookie would have been HOT, I can tell you that. We all have hidden desires, hungers we feel, our hearts beating rapidly and our pulse skipping. Often the wet het and dazzling sensations are brought on by another person – whether you know them or not. Sometimes it’s about a stimulating movie you’ve watched or even evocative music playing in the background. I remember one movie in particular in which the actress Diane Lane had entered into one HOT affair with a younger man and as she rode the bus home that steamy afternoon, you knew EXACTLY what she was thinking by her facial expressions, her hands fluttering across her face. She was basking in the glory of pure sin. Didn’t you tingle just thinking about it? Whew, I did. We all have needs and yearning. Mine are very sinful. I’m lucky in that I get to explore every dark, deep and delicious desire on the pages of a book. Do I try everything I write about? Hmm….
As an erotic romance writer, I delve into many sides of passion and romance and love every minute of it. I attended a conference in which I was a panel guest. Erotic Romance – How Much is Too Much? I can tell you that it was a hoot. The four of us on the panel write different heat levels from sensuous to highly erotic. Guess which category I fell into? I admit it. I write very spicy erotic contemporary romance. Granted, I also write paranormal and campy murder mysteries as well, but I thoroughly enjoy writing romance. The funny thing is that recently I had a review and it was the third for a piece I honestly considered fairly tame in comparison to the heavy BDSM type of pieces I do but the reviewer actually said I write porn. It mostly gave me a chuckle because there wasn’t even a sexual piece in the creation for the first one-third of the book. Still…to each their own.
When I was at the conference several of us sat around having drinks and we entered into several fairly heated discussions that included everything from whether or not people were growing weary about reading so many sex scenes to listing the many ways certain body parts could be identified. We had folks rolling in the aisles. We discussed various erotic genres and lifestyles that many of you may not have tried, but perhaps have a craving to taste including BDSM and voyeurism and by the end, almost everyone in the room was engaging in the conversations. This carried over into the actual panel discussion the next day and it was lively with a lot of people asking both serious and silly questions and I had a great time sharing information. While the entire hour was tremendous fun, the one aspect of the moment that I will remember forever fondly is when one young girl that came up to me after the event.
Bashful and quiet throughout the discussion, she shook my hand and thanked me for making sex funny to her and thereby making it okay to talk about. Seems she had been abused as a child and hated even the thought of sex. Giggling, she asked if it would be okay if she purchased all of my books. Meeting her was so heartwarming I couldn’t stop smiling.
Throughout the entire presentation, I said time and time again that certain aspects of delving into a sensuous discovery involved trust between you and your partner. Whether you are in a hetero or same sex relationship, we all need to feel that unbridled trust in order to feel comfortable within ourselves and to be able to explore. I have written often about everything from toys and BDSM to voyeurism and public display and while we may all have a naughty toy or two stashed in our drawers, the concept of BDSM and voyeurism is something else entirely.
Through the years I have been a guest blogger on several fellow writer sites and discussed the research that I do in order to write accurately about any of the above and I was surprised that even my fellow writers didn’t truly understand how much trust there has to be in a dominant/submissive lifestyle. It is paramount. In doing my research, I have talked with real life Doms and subs that simply enjoy that type to relationship during “playtime” with both men and women taking the submissive roles. I have also talked with societies where generally the woman is the submissive role and lives this twenty-four hours a day. It is a choice that both people make and a contract of trust between them. The bond is much stronger even than some marriages.
That being said, my stories generally involve playtime and the relationship is very consensual and extremely passionate. Readers want a good story along with their fantasy and sharing a little bit of kink doesn’t change that fact. We want to fall into a moment of rapture that takes us to distant shores. That’s why I enjoy writing about passion. You can savor almost anything your naughty imagination can think of.
I also put a wee bit of wicked voyeurism in a few of my stories as well as the aspects of BDSM and I love writing about sex clubs too. That dangerous little thought that someone might see you is a bit exciting. Then there’s spanking and flogging, being handcuffed and unable to move for an extended period of time. I think every one of us longs to have a partner either in control or you long to be the one who gives the orders, requires the other to obey. As I’ve often said, there’s nothing wrong with it.
As I listen to music, often head banging heavy alternative rock that tells you in no uncertain terms what the man or woman is thinking, I can envision a perfect sex scene. Yes, can music get me hot and bothered? Oh hell yeah. It’s funny. I get the same question asked all the time – do my stories make me wet? The honest answer is no, but then I’ve written about every sex scene I think there is with every food group, every toy, in every position and with multiples of sex partners. Have I tried them all? Mmm… If I told ya I’d have to include you in a book.
All teasing aside, allow your imagination to run wild. Enjoy reading about seduction and pure sin. Savor the concept of turning on some sensual music and allowing your mind to wander to distant shores where cabana boys will offer you more than just a frosty beverage. Indulge in purchasing bubble bath and a naughty lace teddy. Then seduce your man ladies, vice versa gentlemen. Sex is power. Sex is the spicy flavor of life. Sex is… Raw.
Kisses and spanks