What do I mean by controlled hunger? Well, the notion is moving probably more into a D/s relationship versus a DD but then again, as I’ve mentioned many times, every relationship is different. Control is a part of every aspect of DD, D/s, M/s, BDSM and any variation thereof. The Dom or husband, Master or boyfriend (of course this can be a female as the head of household in any of these as well) utilizes methods of control because he is the authority in the relationship. He’s the one who makes certain his significant other follows rules and understands the hierarchy of their relationship. The control or exchange of power is a very important dynamic and shapes every behavior and the way they are as a couple.
In a DD (domestic discipline) relationship, the husband controls everything from what and how his wife can spend money, how much time she can spend on social media, makes certain she takes care of herself both physically and mentally and institutes many other rules for her to follow. When there are infractions she’s punished and often times spanking is involved. This of course moves into the D/s relationship and there are even stricter rules that must be followed.
I was talking with John Patrick about the use of the belt and the time we’d spend together. Of course he mentioned he thought we both needed another session and soon. I feel the same way and I have my personal reasons – which I’ll share in a minute – but I asked him why. He said the connection and the near euphoria surrounding the time of the discipline is very powerful for him. He believes the session strengthened our already very strong connection and allowed us to delve inside, behind the mask. He was in a state of awe afterward and the effects lingered for days. Don’t think that he has this power kick where he’s using the belt and he feels like some big man. That’s not at all what happens in this. Let me tell you how I felt about the extremely intense experience.
In talking with him about the infraction of which I was disciplined for, and hearing what he had to say, I realized I had not only disobeyed him, but I pushed hard against his growing authority. That’s simply not acceptable. Once I realized what I had done I wanted nothing more than to atone for my behavior. The spanking, the belting, was such an intense moment of letting go, connecting with this man on such a heightened level I felt the effects for days myself. Even a week later I was thinking about the ten minutes and tingling all over, wanting more. Yes – I want more. I can’t begin to tell you how intimate the moment was, how intense I allowed my emotions to swing from one level to another. He was controlling me, my punishment and my very soul, for just a little bit of time. Notice I use the word control again.
Why was I disciplined? For challenging him on a basic rule – I’m not allowed to orgasm without his permission. A simple thing in life. Right? An integral part of D/s. Orgasms are no longer my own. The pleasure I get from climaxing is a gift, something allowed for being a “good girl”. Yes, the thought may be very primitive but the truth is, this single rule is an easy and very powerful way of control and providing domination. I challenged his authority and was punished for it. And trust me – I do hunger to have orgasms but I also desire to obey. Hence, the name of the blog and the new flash fiction story, which will likely be the last in the series. I asked him to honor me with a request for a new story and he wanted to use a very personal one, so John Patrick, and all my fabulous readers, I do so hope you enjoy.
“Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. You don’t want me to orgasm without your permission?” Sage Parsons could hear the edge in her voice and the instant the words popped out of her mouth she knew Randy was going to be pissed. A full minute ticked by and all she could hear was his rather heavy breathing coming through the phone. Yes, she’d been challenging him about almost everything involving the latest chapter of their relationship, pretty much every day. She was well aware she was crossing the line of authority. And there was no doubt he was losing his patience.
“Sage. We’re going to have to talk about this later. I have a meeting with a client in a few minutes.”
“What do we need to talk about exactly?” All you want to do is stop me from having any pleasure. Of course she knew this was so much more but right now she didn’t give a shit. Her blood pressure rising, she paced the floor in their bedroom, biting on her nail. She was completely cognizant she could hear her heart beating against her chest wall. Why was she so nervous? Sage knew why. Her behavior was bordering on disrespect and she wasn’t certain why she was acting out like a child. All of the soul searching she’d been doing hadn’t seemed to offer her any solid answers.
“If you don’t know then I’m honestly disappointed, but right now I have no more time to try and help you understand. I have to go. I’ll call you later. All right?”
“All right. Good luck at the meeting.”
“Thanks,” Randy breathed. “I need you to do one more thing for me.”
“Sure.” How could a single word sound so terse? Groaning silently, Sage moved back and forth in front of the window. The day was gorgeous with a bright blue sky and barely any clouds listing in the distance. Today was Friday, they had amazing plans for the weekend and here they were discussing something as ridiculous as whether or not she could have an orgasm. When had she signed up for this shit? When you agreed to a domestic discipline lifestyle. Yeah, well the controlled orgasms were something else. Sure, they wanted to explore more of a D/s relationship and yeah, she’d read that this was a tiny part many Dom’s insisted on, but Christ. Why now?
“Sure?” he growled.
“I mean yes sir.”
Exhaling slowly Randy sniffed. “We’re going to have to work on levels of respect, my dearest. You’re having much more difficulty saying the word now than you did before.”
This she knew. “I… I know sir and I’m sorry. What do I need to do?” Trying to sound perky failed miserably.
“Box up your collection of vibrators.”
The short sentence couldn’t have thrown her anymore off guard than if he’d asked her to dress in leather for work today. “I’m sorry?”
“You heard me. I told you to box up all the vibrators. I’ll be in charge of their usage from now on,” Randy stated with clear authority.
Uncertain she could even speak coherently, she moved toward her chest of drawers, pulling out the second one and peering inside. On top was her favorite purple Rabbit vibrator, the delicious toy with multi-speeds. Just to the right was the pink Rabbit, fuchsia pink to be exact, and the incredible anal plug attached to the back as a bonus gave her sheer joy.
“Sage. Are you still with me? Did you hear what I said?”
Oh she heard all right. “Yes, sir. Right here.” She slipped her hand inside the drawer and pushed aside the larger pulsing wands, brushing the tip of her finger over her favorite silver bullet, the tiny but powerful implement she could and had carried with her to work, on a day at the beach and pretty much anywhere she could hide the tiny velvet case. Shivering, she eyed the hulking piece all the way in the back, the one she went wild over when Randy was in a particularly frisky mood. She sucked in her breath as she tugged out the Hitachi wand, savoring the way the weight gave her tingles all over, moving smack into her pussy. A single moan pushed past her lips and she coughed to try and hide the slip of her tongue.
“Are you all right?”
“Um. Yes, sir. Just fine. You really want me to box all of them up?” Sage couldn’t help but ask. Even the anal beads and plugs, the newly purchased anal vibrator and nipple clamps, called to her, screaming out to be used and abused. Suddenly all she wanted to do was stay home and play all day long, pleasuring herself for hours on end.
“Yes, Sage. That is my direction. I didn’t say I wasn’t going to allow you to use them ever again. I simply will be the one to give you permission when, which one and how often. Do you understand me?” Randy’s words were direct, on point and laced with a sensual husk.
But she knew he meant business. She gulped then closed the drawer, unable to look anymore at her prized possessions. “Yes, sir. I understand. I’ll box them up.”
“Good girl. Have them on my desk when I get home. Understood?”
“Yes, sir.” My God this was getting serious. She had no idea what to think, but she was indeed trembling from the level of authority in his voice alone. She didn’t want to do this. No, why should she have to? Sighing, she walked away from the dresser, determined not to think about her latest chore.
Randy cleared his throat. “I have to go.”
She could hear another hesitation, as if he was trying to figure out how to end the conversation. “I love you.”
“I love you. We’ll get through this together.”
He didn’t wait for her to answer. Sage pulled the phone away from her face and groaned. What in the hell was wrong with her lately? She snarled and slumped down on the bed, tossing her phone onto the nightstand. She kicked her feet on the carpet and glared at the clock. She was going to have to get ready for work soon enough. How in the world was she supposed to concentrate? How was she supposed to get through the day knowing she was going to be punished later and she was giving up her toys? How fucking dare he!
Slapping her hand on top of the pillows, she grabbed the closet in her hand, twisting the cotton material, and allowed a slow hiss to escape her mouth. A moment of raw anger swept through her. Tossing the pillow across the room, she gasped when the plump foam caught the lamp on the small table. She watched in slow motion as the favored piece tumbled off, crashing against the wooden leg of the chair. There was no doubt the lamp had broken.
“Fuck.” This day couldn’t be going any worse. Sage scrambled off the bed but her steps were slow in crossing the room. This was Randy’s favorite lamp in the house. No, this was the single piece of his old home, the one he shared with what she considered a bitch, that he’d brought into their marriage. And she’d ceremoniously broken the revered lamp. Randy was going to whip her until she couldn’t stand.
She picked up the pieces and sighed. Today was turning out to be a complete disaster and she was to blame.
Thirty minutes later she stood glaring at the cardboard box in her hand. She was dressed and ready for work, her briefcase and keys placed on the kitchen counter, but she was having difficulty performing the one last task required before she left. For some reason boxing up the collection of sex toys was like giving up a part of her kinky side. Of course she knew why her beloved husband and head of household was doing this. She deserved to be punished – and for many things, including her mouth. A quick look at the broken lamp gave her a brand new series of shivers.
A deep sigh rattled her as she yanked open the drawer. Time to pay the piper so to speak. She had to obey him or her ass would be whipped all weekend long. She wiggled thinking about her last spanking. The thudding pain from the brush still remained on her right ass cheek. Randy was damn good at his aim.
Sage smiled and grabbed the purple vibrator first, tossing the plastic and rubber into the box. The sound made her jump. Next came bullet and the anal beads. Then the Hitachi was delicately placed in the box followed by her collection of ass plugs. By the time she was finished she laughed. What a collection she’d amassed. Well, hopefully she’d get to use them again.
When she was finished she folded the edges and walked toward his office. As she strutted inside she inhaled and the fragrance of his cologne lingered in the room, the scent of him oozing from every corner. She loved this room, even though she’d had the majority of her spankings in here. Still, this was her husband’s space, the one he loved being in both with and without her. As she moved toward his oversized mahogany desk she licked her lips, her nipples scraping against her lacy bra. Just thinking about him turned her on. Very gingerly she placed the box in the middle of the desk and backed away. She had a feeling tonight was going to be interesting.
Oh my oh my oh my. What do you think? I have a feeling she’s right and her punishment tonight just might be off the chain. I hope you enjoyed.
Kisses and spanks