Let me just say first of all a belt hurts like *&^$. Yep. I can’t hide the fact or lie about what happens when you’re spanked like a bad girl. The leather slapping against naked skin makes you whimper and cry out, cringe and suck in your breath. There is no way around the reality and no way to mask the pain. IT FUCKING HURTS. There, I’ve said it. Yeah, I know. A spanking for punishments of any kind is supposed to hurt. Right? I understand. I wanted to know. I had to have a hard spanking. I now know and I tingle embracing the realization – and from the fact the method creates that special place of anguish. Whew. I let out my breath, my very ragged one, and stopped shivering all over. For now.
I was deliciously reminded today that being taken in hand is both glorious and terrifying, but I love a man who takes control and understands me. That’s what I try and relay in the stories about spanking, domestic discipline and every level of D/s. There is such care in the undertaking of becoming the head of household or the Dom. Men (in my case of these stories) who are patient and understanding, giving and loving, while knowing when their wife, girlfriend or submissive needs a hard spanking, are truly amazing guys in my book – no pun intended. The longer I talk with John Patrick and we have this very conversation the more I realize just how important having a man you can trust in this endeavor truly is.
If you are lucky enough to be in such a relationship that is working so wonderfully well, don’t take the special times for granted. The beauty of this kind of lifestyle is you both tailor every experience or session to your needs as a couple. Fascinating and delicious, don’t you think? Well, I just had to offer my small point after a wonderful experience today – and an amazing talk. Oh and for the record – do you remember what I talked about on the Valentine’s Day blog? That there are all kinds of wow inspiring gifts that inspire me as an author and as a woman – things like collars and leashes, jeweled anal plugs and a taste of Hot Tamale candy? Hmm… Wanna take a guess as to what I received as a belated Valentine’s gift? Now back to the story.
Randy sat back in his office chair, folding his arms behind his head, and stared at the ceiling. The meeting had been one big blur, a myriad of decisions and arguments, discussions that he’d had with these particular clients at least four times over the last two weeks alone. He was tired and ready for a drink, a night off, a vacation and perhaps a kick in the ass. He chuckled and rubbed his jaw. Swiveling back and forth in his chair, he thought about the new rule he’d mandated before ending the rather terse call with Sage. To force her to box up all her sex toys, they ones he garnered benefit from as well, had been a spur of the moment decision. Why? Well, maybe because of her rather haughty behavior as of late. Why had she been pushing him, yanking every chain and trying his last nerve? Uh-huh. Why.
Sniffing, he glanced toward the computer screen as if there would be some divine intervention in the way of answers. Picking up his pen he twirled the rosewood sheath between his fingers as he eyed his phone. He was flying by the seat of his pants with regard to what he knew was needed punishment of his beloved wife. After all, she was one ballsy chick. The thought giving him a series of tingles he grabbed his phone. The text was simple.
Six sharp. Be in my office. We’re going to begin the weekend there.
Hitting send he shook his head. This was going to be an interesting weekend. Sage knew what he wanted, what he required. No matter her pushing, she’d text back as required. Dear God he hoped so.
Randy waited to see if she’d respond and after five minutes he pushed the phone across his desk, returning to work. At minimum he had to finish the report the Board of Directors’ was waiting for. Then he could leave ahead of time of their moment together. Perhaps he needed to gather himself. Hell, who knew. He clicked on the Word document and went to work. Less than two minutes later he groaned and couldn’t take his eyes off the blackened screen of his phone. There was no ‘Yes sir’ or ‘Okay’ from Sage. There was complete silence. He debated picking up the phone. No, she needed to learn. Period. So he waited. He worked. Finally he no longer glanced at the phone every two minutes.
When he heard the blip of a text he fought to casually look over. For some reason relief rushed through every cell in his body seeing her answer.
“Finally.” No matter the authoritative air about his voice. He wasn’t certain she wouldn’t merely end this portion of what they were trying to achieve right now, tonight. Now he had to wonder whether she’d obeyed him, placing all the kinky items into a box. He’d certainly find out soon enough. He smiled and pushed the phone out of his line of sight. Time to get busy.
“How about grabbing a beer?”
Randy jerked his head up and immediately looked at his watch. It was almost four and he’d just about finished the report. His eyes were tired, his body aching from being in the same position and he was about as tense as he could be. Why?
“Earth to the big man. I know how important you are, the promotion and all, but do you think you can come out of the office to play with the little people?”
Laughing, he raised his middle finger and gave Dylan a nasty look. “Very funny. Perhaps I’ll make you my assistant. That is if you’re a very good boy.”
Dylan swaggered into Randy’s office. “I doubt that’s gonna happen given I single handedly landed the Markeson account.”
“You’re shitting me.” Pushing back his chair Randy rose to his feet. They’d been trying to wrap their hands around what had to be the most lucrative account for a solid two years.
“Nope. Signed on the dotted line just an hour ago. You gotta come out and celebrate with the crew,” Dylan said as he danced a jig, turning in a full circle.
“Well I…” Randy sucked back the quick answer. He’d made certain he told Sage she needed to be on time and of course she knew he would be pissed as hell if she were late. No, he’d spank her ass with much more severity. He’d counseled her on more than one occasion about her penchant to be late to anything and everything.
“One drink. You always say no, but this is a special occasion. Even the big boss has to admit we done good.”
Randy grinned. “You guys did amazing work. I truly thought the whole damn account was in the toilet. How you resurrected the frosty ass of the owner is beyond me.”
“Magic my friend. Pure magic. Oh and raw talent.”
“I have to agree.”
Shrugging, Dylan moved closer. “Then come join us. We’re just going across the street. That’s it. A couple drinks, maybe a couple round of pool, scoping at girls, if you still have a libido…” His voice trailed off.
“A libido? I’ll show you a freaking libido!” Randy pointed his finger.
“Then come out with us, boring man.”
“I don’t know.” An awkward silence seemed to settle in.
“Hey. I realize you have a fox waiting at home for you. I get you want to go and do wicked things, but these are the guys you know and hopefully love. You gotta show your face and solidarity sometimes.”
Randy groaned. “Yeah.”
He leaned forward when Randy hesitated. “We’re just going across the street to Maxie’s. A game of darts, a couple beers. Then you can go home and fuck the luscious blond.”
The thought was heartfelt, but caught him off guard. “You’re a riot.”
“Would you prefer I go home and fuck her?” Dylan’s eyes twinkled.
Randy moved around the desk, getting to within six inches of his buddy. “You touch a hair on her head and I castrate you with a very dull knife. Get it?” He raised his eyebrow and remained unblinking.
“Whoa. I got cha big man,” Dylan said as he raised both arms and backed away, a grin remaining plastered on his face. “One drink. That’s it. I’ll leave you and the sex kitten alone.”
Randy glanced at his watch, studying the time, then realized he could certainly behave himself and have one drink. Getting home would only take twenty minutes. “When are you guys leaving?”
“Whenever the nasty ass boss says we can.”
This time Randy burst into laughter. “Fine.”
“Meaning you’ll come?”
“One drink.” Randy shifted back and forth from foot to foot. “One.”
“So what’s the deal with Sage?” Dylan asked as he kept his gaze toward the basketball game being played on the oversized television screen.
“Deal?” Randy asked, popping peanuts into his mouth.
“You know what I’m talking about. You two are on and off the charts more than any couple I know.”
“Off the charts?”
“Yeah. You’re happy. Unhappy. Pissed. In love,” Dylan cooed. “What gives?”
Hearing the way Dylan said the words made him realize he had indeed been all over the place with his emotions as well as his business decisions. “Just a blip in our marriage.”
“Uh-huh. This is your best buddy you’re talking to here. Let’s try this again.” Dylan took a swig of his beer and turned to face Randy. Leaning forward he looked to his right then left before lowering his voice. “Are you going to leave Sage?”
“What?” The question caught him completely off guard.
“I know how you are and I can tell. Shit you’re all over the place with this. Truth is, I think you need to talk to someone about this. I know times have been tough. I’ve heard your conversations with her. I can tell you’re heading for divorce.”
There was a look in Dylan’s eyes and he had no idea what to say. His hand was shaking as he brought the glass of Tanqueray and tonic to his lips. Randy took a heady gulp before he was able to answer. “Hold on here. We were headed for divorce. Not now.”
“Not now?” Dylan challenged.
“No. In truth the papers were ready to be signed.”
“Then…” Randy had no idea what to say.
“There had to be something that stopped you from signing them,” Dylan offered. He kept his eyes pinned on Randy.
Randy fiddled with his glass, swirling the tip of his finger around and around the lip. “Yeah.” There was. He hadn’t really thought about the concept until today. He’d wanted her, the woman he loved and the woman he’d taken a chance on to fill his days with such a powerful period of his life. Love, real love was damn difficult to find. He’d fucked it all up, never being the man she needed. “Then I realized I couldn’t live without her. I knew I would rather die than spend a single day without finally allowing her inside of me, the man who’s been hiding for so damn long. I finally said I had to have what I wanted. I was sick and tired of dealing with the bullshit of society telling me what a marriage had to be like. So the moment, I mean the very second I stopped the crap running through my head I knew. This woman was the only one to free me from my chains, the ones so tightly wrapped around my neck I was drowning in a sea of bullshit. That was the day I tore up those papers and said to her that we were going to do anything it took to save what we had. You have to understand I will do anything to be with her.” Own her. Dominate her. Control her. He was panting from the realization. His words seemed to echo in his ears and for a few seconds he wasn’t even certain he’d said them. When he turned his head to look at Dylan he could tell he’d struck a nerve. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? Don’t be sorry. Shit. Don’t be sorry at all. I have the same kind of thoughts with Mandy. About Mandy. I want to kill her but I can’t live without her.” Dylan shot him a look. “Yeah. You love her but you had no idea how to make it all work.”
“Yep. I hear you.” Dylan looked away.
For a few seconds they remained quiet. Randy drained his glass and closed his eyes, unable to stop thinking about Sage.
“How did you stop the bleeding, the need to race away from everything you had?”
Dylan’s voice was so haunted, so full of angst that Randy shivered. “A lot of communication. A serious look inside to the man I am, the one I hide from everyone.” He tipped his head and locked eyes with Dylan.
“I don’t need to know all the details of who you are. I’m here if you want to talk about them, but I think you’re not ready yet to tell me. Ah what the hell do I know?”
Randy smiled. “Let’s just say I have many sides.”
“I do too. What did you do? What did you both do to make things better?”
“Domestic discipline.” For the first time he said the two words without any hesitation. And instead of what he thought would be shock in Dylan’s eyes he witnessed a collective understanding.
“Wow. I’ve read a little bit about it and I’m curious.” Dylan took a swig of his beer then motioned for the bartender. “Want another?”
Randy felt more intense relief than he’d felt in months. Just admitting what he was sharing with such an amazing woman was powerful as well as freeing. “Honestly? I have some things to do. I hope you don’t mind.”
Dylan glanced at his friend and smiled. “Not at all. Do what you have to do. I admire you.”
Oh my – can you imagine telling your best buddy you were not the man he or she thought you were? Mmmm… Brave, eh?
Kisses and spanks