Power is a very provocative word, don’t you think? There’s nothing better than knowing you are the top dog, the prize winner, the man or woman who achieved a promotion over others vying for the same thing. Power is intoxicating and when handled correctly can advance security, safety, careers, marriages and can help jockey upper echelon positions in just about every aspect of life. When power is abused, taken advantage of, then there are issues of distrust, discord, anger, rebellion and ultimately demise – one way or the other. Often the words power and control are comingled and yes, they certainly can be, but control can also be garnered by earning respect, admiration of your peers, your lover and your submissive.
When couples enter into a D/s, M/s, DD or basic BDSM relationship, of course there is a heightened level of trust – or there should be. There is some innate understanding that one is going to be in charge and the other subservient. That’s the basics of course of the lifestyle. What many “think” they understand is that the switch of power is easy. Do you hear that nasty buzzer noise from some ridiculous game show telling you how wrong you are? In my opinion there is nothing easy about accepting either the controlling role or the submissive one. While you may have one or the other in your nature, the craft of learning how, why, when, when not to etc. might surprise you.
For those of us who have lived a very vanilla life since the beginning of our time, the realization that we are shifting what we believed to be our roles is TOUGH. Notice I capitalize that? I keep embracing that realization more and more as John Patrick and I go through the budding of the exchange. I was texting something that I considered innocuous to him and had to take a LONG stride backwards. I realized I was continually crossing back and forth those imaginary lines (at least at this point for us) lines that define roles. The terms ‘blurred lines’ so comes into play at least for how our relationship is growing. Why? Well, the easy first answer is I’m used to be in charge of just about everything. Suddenly he takes the leadership role, the one in charge, and my natural personality balks without me even knowing it.
To John Patrick’s credit he calmly tells me he’s not angry first, makes certain I am comfortable with the fact we will talk further about my concerns and behavior, and tells me it’s all about time. As I learn and grow with my personal experience, I’m finally grasping that we are creatures of habit, so much so that we honestly don’t know when we’re acting out until the moment is brought to our attention. John Patrick is VERY good at doing so. The man is a saint when it comes to patience, and he has to be, because I am one bad girl who cannot seem to follow rules. That being said, the exchange of power does take time – a lot of time so respect what you want, need, believe in, think might happen, and chastise yourself for. D/s is a journey remember. It’s all about? Time, no matter your station in life, your connections or your powerful demeanor. We are all driven to our true identify through communication, time and understanding. A new little story just burned within me. I hope you enjoy. BUT a bit unconventional so you’ll have to wait for a few chapters here to see how they play out.
“Ms. Wilkens. Mr. Dimani. In my chambers now.” Jerking up from the bench he narrowed his eyes, shook his head and stormed out of the room.
“Shit. You really got his goat today. Are you having a bad morning? Did someone piss in your Wheaties?”
Meadow Wilkens glared at the front of the courtroom, trying to keep her anger in check. She darted a quick glance at Amanda, thanking God she had a legal assistant who actually had a brain, then over to the court appointed attorney. There was something she loathed about the man, all dapper in his cool one thousand dollar suit and Italian imprint tie. Jefferson Dimani was a son of a bitch jerkoff asshole who thought his shit didn’t stink. “No. The asshole just isn’t going to best me.”
“Judge Sampson or the man who has nothing but dagger eyes for you?” Amanda scoffed as she pressed her hand over the stack of file folders.
“Not him. He’s not important,” Meadow said through clenched teeth and slammed her portfolio shut.
“Great. Now you’re slighting the Judge, the one who doesn’t seem but so pleased with your behavior right about now.” Amanda shook her head and looked over at the opposing counsel’s table and the man they were attempting to convict.
Meadow raised her eyebrow as Jefferson did his best attempt at acting like he cared for the poor bastard who so deserved a stint behind bars. Yeah, so the guy as famous. So the fuck what? She sniffed and couldn’t take her eyes the opposing attorney, the one with the ice blue eyes, graying hair and perfectly carved six foot and them some body. They sparred on everything every time they were forced to face each other over a case. “Let’s get this shit over with.” Brushing back the stray strand of hair that had fallen from her tight bun, the one keeping her flaming red hair in check, she moved away from the table and directly past the arrogant asshole.
“Go for it,” Amanda said then laughed.
Stopping just at the edge of Jefferson’s table, she refused to turn around. “Are you coming?” The question was more like a command.
“Wouldn’t miss the theatrics for the world.” Jefferson’s voice boomed into the vaulted ceiling.
Unfettered, Meadow moved forward, the tips of her heels clipping hard against the cool tile floor. Being behind Judge Sampson’s chamber doors wasn’t the best thing for her career, given she seemed to be getting herself into trouble often. But when she continually had to work with such an arrogant prick, there was little she could do but fight hard and long. The moment her hand hit the doorknob she heard his voice, felt the heat of his breath against the back of her neck.
“Can we go for a drink after we’ve concluded this nightmare today?” Jefferson moved closer, his hand hovering over hers.
To her credit she didn’t flinch, merely tilted her head back and laughed. “Over my freaking dead ass body.”
“That’s not what you would have said barely four months ago.”
“I was an idiot then, but fortunately I learned what an asshole you are. I won’t allow myself to make that same mistake again.” Meadow smiled to herself, priding her rather cool demeanor. Granted, she’d spent enough time trying to heal the wounds that were buried deep. When she heard silence she gave herself a mental high five. The man was no match for her power, either in the courtroom or… Now she swallowed hard, her breath skipping. She hadn’t thought about him, about how sexy and gorgeous, thrilling and breathtaking he was in…
“I was an asshole. I’m different now,” Jefferson said quietly.
The words caught her off guard. For a few seconds she was back during what had to be the most incredible time in her life. Visions of the way they were, the almost perfect domination he showed her, remained vivid in the forefront of her mind. She lowered her head, closing her eyes as she thought about the time. How joyous. How amazing. How fucking horrible. Snorting, she pushed back against him hard, telling him in no uncertain terms not to touch her and turned the handle.
Jefferson wrapped his hand around hers and pulled the door shut while crowding her space. “You and I need to have a serious talk.”
“We have nothing to talk about.”
“How about my client and his rights? Huh? How about the fact you ceremoniously railroaded those witnesses? Huh?”
“How dare you! The jerk is guilty as freaking hell.” Within a split second she turned, her hand reaching out to slap him.
“Fuck your princess!” Meadow hissed.
He maneuvered them both until her back was against the wall. “That’s what I want to do right now. Right now. However you need something much more than a hard fucking. Don’t you?”
The question remained in the air and left a bad taste in her mouth. Yet no matter how she played out the answer, she realized the man had ceremoniously gone deeper inside her very soul than any other person in her life. “I need you to get out of my space.”
Jefferson ceremoniously wrapped one hand around her right wrist, the other around her left, and tugged both arms above her head. “You and I both know what you crave, what you have to have in your life. I’m only sorry I betrayed your trust, but I want nothing more than to gain it back.”
“Cold fucking day in hell.” Another full minute, maybe five passed by. Why was perspiration trickling down the back of her neck? Because you want this man more than any you’ve ever known.
“I’m sorry. I’m damn sorry. I promise you if you’ll just talk to me I can explain everything.” Jefferson kept his stance, his facial expression unwavering. “What we had was incredible. What we shared few people every have the opportunity of doing so, especially as we did. Don’t you remember how incredible our relationship was?”
She did. Of course she did. Submitting to him had been easy to do. Their trust shared was implicit. The way he cared for her, nurtured her during the months of training had been something she could barely talk about. Everything had been utterly perfect. “I just can’t.” The words were agonizing to say.
A deep sigh pushed past his lips. “Let yourself go. Just talk with me.”
Right now the tough girl inside of her was ready to kick the creep in the balls. The other woman, the one she’d been hiding just about her entire life, wanted nothing more than to drop to her knees and cling to him – please him. She was, after all, a complete submissive. Only this man, this extremely talented and well spoken, gorgeous and enigmatic man, had seen through her bullshit. Only this man had given her brilliant moments of what she do desperately needed. Then he’d fucked it all up. “No. I can’t ever trust you again. Don’t you get that?” She tipped her head, narrowing her eyes. My God the man had the most powerful draw she’d every experienced. Blinking several times was the only way she could finally release the inner submissive from his spell.
Groaning, Jefferson leaned his head down, his eyes pinned on hers. “What you think happened didn’t. You just never allowed me to explain. You merely walked away without so much as giving me a few minutes. We shared everything and you just walked.”
“Oh you explained. The visuals were perfect. I had to walk. I had to and…” Her voice trailing off, tears welled in her eyes. This wasn’t happening here. Period. No, this was never happening again. No matter he was the perfect Dom for her or that she’d been ready to submit to him for the rest of her life. No matter. None. Zero. She was a strong woman.
“I will have you again. You belong to me. Period.”
His arrogance overwhelmed her. “Not if you were the last man on earth.”
Jefferson opened his mouth then the hard click of a doorknob being turned forced him to stop.
They both looked in the direction of the Judge, one who held a face of raw fury. “Shit,” she said under her breath.
“Both of you. My chambers now or you’ll be considered in contempt of court.” Judge Sampson glanced back and forth between them and shook his head. “Unbelievable.”
They both remained still for a few seconds, then she pushed her way past Jefferson. Memories of the time they’d shared would always be special to her. Being his submissive had been incredible but damning. “Are you coming, Mr. DImani?”
“Yes, Ms. WIlkens.”
Meadows moved into the Judge’s chambers with Jefferson following closely behind. The judge was formidable in his own right, one who took no shit from anyone. He was standing in front of his floor to ceiling window, unmoving.
“Do you understand that we have a very sensitive trial on our hands?” Judge Sampson asked, his voice barely audible
Jefferson looked at Meadow then nodded as if the judge could see. “Yes, sir. My client is the son of the Governor. As such we are to…”
“As such you are to perform your duties as court representatives. I expect no less. This trial is already the media darling and I’m sick of it. You’re both acting like the relationship you had doesn’t exist. While I know otherwise. You were both dabbling in an alternative lifestyle, one I suspect in truth was good for both of you. I can tell you both fucked it up.” Judge Sampson turned to face them, placing his hands behind his back.
Meadow sucked in her breath. No one knew about their D/s relationship let alone that they had any relationship. “Sir, I…”
Judge Sampson held up his hand. “Very little gets by me, Ms. Wilkens. Very little. I understand more about the lifestyle than you know.”
Jefferson clucked his jaw and inched closer to her, a smile curling on his mouth. “Yes, sir. We aren’t allowing our past to effect the case.”
“Bullshit and you both know it.” The judge laughed. “You have a total power exchange going on and the entire legal system is your fodder right now. I can’t have that.”
“Yes, sir,” Meadow said as she cringed. This was so being busted. They were going to be the laughing stock of the entire city.
“There is little I can do in the way of mandating behavioral changes but…” Stepping forward Judge Sampson grinned. “I can use creative methods.”
“Creative sir?” Jefferson asked.
“Yep. It’s Thursday and I’m going to postpone the case until Monday morning at nine sharp. I think there are some alternative methods here that are going to be needed, concepts of allowing you to see what you are missing.”
“Sir?” Meadow stared at the elder man, curious as to what in the hell he was getting at.
“Yes.” Judge Sampson moved closer. “You’re going to spend the three days together figuring this out. I don’t care where you go, but you will stay alone, without anyone else interfering, and you will solve this issue. If you don’t I’ll declare a mistrial.”
“You can’t do that!” Meadow insisted.
“I’m the judge. I can do anything. Three days together exploring what you started months ago.” Judge Sampson moved behind his desk.
Both Meadow and Jefferson looked at each other. She swallowed hard. This was nuts, but very exciting. What the hell was she thinking?
“Power exchange. You must conclude the concept. Do you both understand?”
Jefferson shot her a look before taking the reins. “Absolutely.”
“Good man. You’re her perfect Dom.” The judge pressed his hand on the keyboard then looked back up. “And if you ask me, she needs a hard spanking.”
I know… This would never happen. Right? Well, as you can imagine, there is more to their story than this event. For Meadow, she did find the perfect Dom, the man of her dreams, but trust is huge so what will our girl do?
Kisses and spanks