Honor and Obey…Her Submission…the Rose

I’ve had so many wonderful moments lately in my learning and growing with D/s. There’s so much to learn and so many incredible yet very open conversations to have. What I finally have begun to understand is that no matter how many books you read about BDSM or D/s or how many couples you talk to, until you’re lucky enough to experience any portion of the journey yourself, you truly don’t understand. You can glean a flavor. You can relate and begin to understand. You can certainly crave more. But there is no way you’ll be able to embrace the beautiful and very fulfilling relationship.

In writing this blog series – perhaps one of my favorite titles now – Honor and Obey, Jessie devotedI’ve had some very quiet moments just thinking. I’ve tried to place myself in the mindset of couples who have not only entered into a relationship in the D/s lifestyle, but who have also reached a plateau of complete commitment. What I think few vanilla couples understand is that committing to an eternal life of sharing Domination and submission is very formidable. The powerful and all encompassing aspect can be overwhelming for those not prepared or uncertain of the level of devotion. You have to embrace not only the concept of being in what has to be the ultimate in a trusting coupling (much like a vanilla couple) but also you’re adding the aspect of giving totally of one’s self. Wild. Scary. Heady. Right?

You may think you understand what I’m talking about, given you know YOU have the perfect relationship, but can you really? I’m not here to judge at all. Just knowing that I’ve written about D/s, explored so many aspects and shared them with readers YET I’ve just recently begun to understand that I am only breaking the mold. Every journey is personal between each couple. No matter what you think, there is no possible way of placing even the most basic aspects of D/s into a mold. From the very beginning you learn and grow together. Certainly one can say this is about one person dominating another, but I’ve heard recently that certain aspects of the most basic controls placed on a submissive is a red flag for abuse. Really? Are you telling me that a Dom controlling friends on a social media site where predators roam is considered abuse? Shall we talk about a Master/slave scenario in which she’s kept in a cage at night? Hmmm… BUT… to each their own. Right?

For John Patrick and I, we’ve gone through several stages in our growth, and I can tell you he’s learning and reading, talking and asking questions more every day. He asked me a specific question today – about rules and what I want, what I expect. That’s a tougher question than you think. He realized I hunger for more structure. Yes, I do, but he’s right in that issuing a series of rules isn’t something you just do. They have to make sense and the submissive must believe in her Dom and trust him implicitly – his actions and decisions – or any rule cannot work. For those of you already firmly planted in the lifestyle this seems primitive, no doubt. Still, we all have to question the whys of our souls and start somewhere.

When several plateaus have been reached and you as a couple are ready to move to a higher level of commitment, there are many beautiful symbols and ceremonies. I’ve touched on several. What I found the most profound for me is The Ceremony of the Rose. While I hope you’ll take the time and look this up, I’m going to try and show you the beauty in our couple’s eyes. They are sharing a moment together that few ever will, but for me I can only hope…

There were no words to describe the way she was feeling, no concept of telling anyone what was going on in her heart and soul. Stephanie Brennan hadn’t been able to leave the bathroom for twenty minutes. A nervous laugh escaped her lips as she first stared at then studied her reflection. She took a step back, surveying the way the very sexy Invading her Thoughtscrimson bra and matching thong she’d found in a bright pink bag just under her office chair, managed to fit and suit her. Yes. She looked pretty…good. Yeah. Good. The gift had been a delicious surprise, given Craig’s horrific travel schedule. When confronted, her assistant had confessed Craig had forced his way into the office, into Stephanie’s space. The behavior was out of the norm. She laughed and fingered the satin strap on her bra, pursing her lips in what she knew to be a vixen fashion. Oh who was she kidding? Vixen?

Giving herself a sultry look, she took another step back and placed both hands on her hips, swaying them back and forth. The provocative stance was something he adored. Yep the colorful attire was pricy and gorgeous. Craig had damn good taste in lingerie. Mmm… he had extraordinary tastes in pretty much everything. A chuckle erupted from her lips. God. She was being a bad girl this week. He had few rules. He issued fewer mandates. But one thing was very clear – he required she had matching underwear, and VERY sexy, slinky pieces. They regularly shopped at Victoria’s Secret together, sharing the passion for all things intimate. This gift had been one of…

Stephanie sighed. This was a very special selection, one of embracing such enjoyment and giving. One of starting a new life together. A nervous tick was festering in the corner of her mouth as she shivered, her toes curling against the tile floor. In two days, two short days, she was going to become… For some reason her heart was racing. She wasn’t afraid. In fact she was thrilled, breathless with joy in what they were going to share. Okay. Yes. Right. Nerves were kicking her ass.

Was there a reason why? She’d been trying to figure that out for the last week solid. Concentrating had been a pain in her ass, her workload pushed aside. When her assistant had finally asked a barrage of questions just yesterday, after two or three solid weeks of Stephanie being out of touch, she’d left the office in a huff. The single reason why was fear. Yes, terror embraced her, shunting every inch of her body, her soul. As she pressed her hand over her mouth, pushing back the tick, she was forced to face the reason why. Her concern wasn’t about the actual act of an eternal submittal. No, her terror was all about worry she wasn’t good enough, there was no way she could please Craig, be the devoted submissive he was so deserving of.

There was no way she could be good enough.

Lowering her head she sighed and allowed heated tears to fall. There was something almost cathartic about the way the salty beads rolled into the sink, slipping down the cool marble and into the drain. Craig. Craig. Craig. She laughed just hearing the way his name bounced around in her brain. Sniffing, she wiped away the tears and breathed in and out. To be this nervous and a solid two days out from the ceremony was… “Craig.” There. She’d said his name. His name. Her Sir’s name. Her Dominant’s name. Biting her lip she couldn’t help but laugh softly. Just the way his name dripped from her lips was sexy, inviting. With every move, every breath, her nipples couldn’t help but scrape against the thin lace of her bra. She was in need. Period. There was no way she could or would deny. Hungering for the six foot five inch hunk was all that and a HUGE bag of chips.

Now she was tingling all over with a level of excitement she’d only imagined years ago. Craig was not only her husband, but he was going to become her…her… When she lifted her head and locked eyes with the woman gazing back at her, she breathed a sigh of relief. Becoming Craig’s eternal submissive, a woman who would forever honor and obey him, was a heady experience. No doubt. “Ugh.” The groan was a complete symbolism of the way her fear ebbed and flowed. But she was ready. No, she was more than ready. You’re going to commit your life and devotion, your obedience to the man you love, the one who opened your heart and soul to the woman inside. This was the truth, the incredible and amazing sharing of the woman inside, the one who’d been locked away, had been freeing.

No, she wasn’t even thinking the moment correctly. Slapping her had on the counter she glanced at her watch before grabbing the dazzling red dress, the color he so adored on her, from the hook on the back of the door. Craig was waiting for her.

Smoothing down the smooth silk, she patted the corners of her eyes and added more powder to her face and forehead. When she surveyed the look, criticizing just about every aspect of her body and the way she just wasn’t the woman she’d once been, she held up her middle finger. Her own self doubt wasn’t going to derail this. Nope. Hell fucking no. As she grabbed her makeup bag, jerking out the contents, she grumbled to herself. She was an accomplished and extremely influential businesswoman who commanded a room the second she entered. She could put fear into the eyes of competitors with a single look. Without a doubt she was able to garner others around her, ones who attempted to grab onto her coat tails. Those she loved pitching to the side in a way few could recover from.

So many accomplishments. So many nods and certifications. Yet… Stephanie couldn’t help but laugh. Getting married was easy. No matter she’d had two failed marriages. Submitting to one man, the most amazing man she’d ever met, for all of eternity Punish Mewas… Daunting. Yes. This was the perfect word. This weekend, this very Saturday night, she was going to offer more than just her hand in some vanilla laced marriage. She was going to offer every aspect of her being to a man to care for, to protect, to shroud with love and to submit to for the rest of her life. And there was no doubt in her mind there would be no other man, no other way of life. For a woman who’d been hiding behind a suffocating mask, she’d found the right path. Mmmm… She had the right man.

Another glance in the mirror and she was satisfied. Today she looked hot. The rest of everything she’d worry about later. A quick nod and she opened the bathroom door. As she walked down the hall toward the family room and kitchen, she listened for any telltale signs of activity. Stephanie could hear music, the soft strains of Kenny G. Craig knew her moods well, the way she needed some quiet enjoyment and peace, and music was her safety zone. She stopped just outside the door to the kitchen and smoothed down her dress for the third time.

Just before she entered she heard him singing, heard her lover and Sir, the man she’d been married to for several years and the one she was going to become devoted to for life, singing. He never seemed to sing, to allow himself to share what she thought as such longing. He never opened his mouth in this kind of joy.

Stilled at the very concept, she eased against the wall and bit back several moans.

“All of me loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges, love your perfect imperfections.”

“What?” Stephanie whispered under her breath. How did he know? How could he know this very song was the one of her heart, the one that always made her cry? How could he know she had seen herself in the song, giving all of her to the only man she could ever love? Bracing the wall she whimpered and closed her eyes. This was karma. This was telling. This was…

“You give me all…all of you. And I’ll give you all…all of me.” Craig’s voice lowered, a moan slipping past his lips.

She rounded the corner and gripped the doorjamb. For a few seconds she remained mesmerized by his form, by the man she so loved. Seeing the way he was hovering over the counter, his back arched and his head lowered, left her trembling. She could tell he was crying, his voice breaking as he continued to whisper the lyrics. Stars floated in front of her eyes and for a few seconds she was no longer able to focus, could only hear the comforting yet anguished sound of his voice. God, she loved this man. Her sir. After what had to be several minutes she cleared her throat.

Craig instantly shifted, sucking in his breath and moving away from the kitchen sink. He tipped his head, his eyes registering a raw hunger, a deep seeded worry.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Stephanie moved into the room.

“You didn’t interrupt,” he breathed as he smiled and sauntered toward the kitchen table. “I didn’t know how long you would be but thought we could share a mimosa.”

“A celebration.”

“A celebration.” His hand shaking, he lifted a glass.

She nodded and walked toward him, taking the glass into her hands. The moment their fingers touched she trembled deep inside. For a few seconds they both seemed lost in the moment of searching, determining if they were able to do this, to embrace what they both knew they had to have. She could tell he wanted to say something andserenity07060_bf365e she had a feeling of what his words would entail. She knew her man, her Sir. They thought alike. They finished each other’s sentences. They were becoming one.
“I want you to know I love you,” Craig stated.

“And I love you.”

“And I can’t wait for our future together, one so different than others but so enticing.”

Hearing his conviction Stephanie smiled. “You’re right. I can’t either.” The way he was looking at her was… Wow. She had no words.

Craig took a step forward and lifted his glass. Only when they clinked did he speak. “I know you’re afraid. So am I. There are no rule books, no clear sentiments of what we’re doing, of the amazing decision we’re making. There is no way to honor our vanilla life yet embrace what has to be within us, that burning need, without sounding trite to many.”

Stephanie realized she was holding her breath.

“I’ve tried to rationalize why. Why we have to do this. Why I am this way.” Craig laughed and took a gulp of his drink. Looking down he shook his head several times. “Then I realized I was meant to have this…you. Karma is something. I might not know a hell of a lot about relationships but what I do know is I have to…” He tipped his head back. “I have to have you. Period.”

Her entire body was on edge. His words were so breathtaking. She lurched when he stopped. Was he doubting her? Had he realized she wasn’t the one? Was he going to finally see she wasn’t perfect? “Craig I…”

“Let me finish.” His voice was strained. He wiped his mouth and groaned. “I love you.”

“I know that.”

Turning quickly he took her hand. “I love you with more than the man I am. I love you with the heart and soul you need, the control you’ve longed for and the promise I’ll give you everything within me. I won’t be perfect. I’ll fuck up. I’ll fail you but I promise you one thing…”

When he hesitated she had to fight back the tears.

“I promise you I will be the man you hope I’ll be.”

All I can say is I’m tingling. There are many reasons. Right now I hope the story tells you because I won’t any further.

Kisses and spanks…

Cassandre

About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
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