Well it’s been a beautiful few days here in lovely VA. I truly love spring and we just had winter end – as in literally. There’s nothing like being able to write outside, enjoying a little drink and listening to the birds singing. I’ve also been doing a heck of a lot of reflecting lately. There’s so much to reflect on. I continue to read articles on Domination and submission. John Patrick turned me onto an amazing site www.submissiveguide.com and I’m reading articles that are extremely well written. I think many of you will roll your eyes wondering why people learn about kink. D/s isn’t just kink. Let’s get something straight for any of you naysayers left you read my blog. Are you there?
Living or playing in any alternative lifestyle has several elements. Everyone has to live what some call a vanilla life at least to some degree unless you’re living in a cave or commune in which you aren’t required to interact outside. We have to work, enjoy family and friends. We pay bills and go to weddings and funerals. We have lunch and enjoy vacations. We have a home to keep up, dogs to play with and chores to do. In other words people involved in kink are very much regular plain ole people. And NO, there aren’t dungeons in our basements pretty much the majority of the time. Do some of us have playrooms and spanking benches? Sure – IF you can afford them. I certainly can’t and don’t. I started this journey reading and learning for my writing. Then something amazing happened. I realized and embraced the fact I’m a submissive – but that doesn’t change the woman I am.
I’m powerful in business. I command a room. I will tell you my beliefs period. And I have no issue raging against the machine. I’m also a submissive woman who finally understands a side of her that always existed, but was never allowed out of the padlocked box to play. John Patrick and I talk about this all the time – a journey. We are traveling something that can’t be learning in a short period of time. We are opening up slowly through conversations and in doing so are becoming uninhibited. Notice the process here. He isn’t just my Dom and wasn’t in the beginning at all. We’re friends and started talking. The desire and the realization of our needs have been there for a little while – but connecting in a way in which you can move forward into something more than talking? Well, that takes a lot of time. We have issues and worries and sometimes they are very trying. But we learn and for me, I so savor everything we talk about.
We’re exploring certain aspects of kink through conversations. Humiliation did come up given the fact so many people seem to be VERY interested in the concept. I’m not entirely certain why, except for the fact there’s a little danger in the aspect. With humiliation comes voyeurism. John Patrick asked me if I’m interested in being humiliated. I think for every one of us there’s a very personal moment where our limits collide with our desires to try something out of our comfort zone. For me, this is very much one of those edge busters. We’ll see as time goes on how much I either want or crave of this. I have personal limits and I have those brought on by my requirement to live in a vanilla laced world. Just the facts. Writing erotica is already sliding close to the edge of what most people can or will accept as the norm. Being involved in a lifestyle the majority of people don’t ‘get’? Hmm… But I keep learning. Back to the story and one that is resonating with many people. Thank you for much for enjoying and let me know what you think.
Kesha had to admit that Drake managed to shock her. He was a planner, a plotter almost all the time. Her husband’s need for control had always been evident, he simply embraced the fact he was a true Dominant in all aspects pretty much just… Today. She smiled at the thought. This was a wowing moment.
“You’re a very bad girl,” Drake eased his hand from her pussy, slipping his fingers inside his mouth.
The sound of his sucking, the look on his face and the realization they could be caught in a single moment of humiliation was just about the most enticing thing. She leaned her head against the elevator wall and wanted nothing more than to drop to her knees and suck his cock. “And you love that about me.”
As the elevator doors opened she halfway expected a group of gawking guests would have admonishing looks, given their rather teenage like behavior. The empty hallway allowed her to breathe a sigh of relief.
He chuckled as he licked the last of her cream off of his fingers. “Tasty.” Nodding toward the hallway he gave her a look, one that was commanding in its own right.
“May I ask where we’re going?”
Drake tapped her on the ass as he gripped her arm.
“I mean sir.” She could tell he wasn’t playing tonight. He was in what she called full ‘Dom mode’ and she was tingling because of the notion alone. He’d been so authoritative all day long, stating what would happen instead of making suggestions. His attitude as well as his behavior had changed. She was weak with desire, longing to please him, serve him. The entire thought process had her in a type of suspended animation. How had this suddenly happened?
“Better. You have to learn to trust me more, Kesha. I will never try and hurt you or put you in a situation in which you could be harmed. If we don’t have that level of trust then we have nothing and should end this now.”
He pushed them out into the hallway and she shivered hearing the words. “I trust you completely. Totally. You don’t see that within me?”
“This is a journey remember.”
“But you’re saying that as if I don’t have faith you. I’ve known you for twenty-two years. How could I not trust you? I just question things. I just worry.” I’m just a girl concerned you’re never going to accept the real me. She heard the odd sound in the tone of her voice, the way the words were said with just enough edge he was understandably irritated. The moment he pulled her against his chest, his fingers digging into her arms, she knew she’d crossed a line – but not just about her place. She’d dug at a scab he’d been having difficulty with since the very moment they’d opened up about their respective needs. She winced, anticipating a quiet round of discipline. When he pushed her against the wall, lifting and pressing her arms up and over her head, she was surprised seeing his eyes.
Kesha shook her head. “I was just expressing a concern.”
“Some time tomorrow I want you to tell me the difference in concern and trust.”
My God. This was so difficult, so eye opening. During their traveling into the lifestyle she’d been forced to question every aspect of her very being from the beginning of her need to dominate pretty much the world. In seeing her husband in an entirely different way, one that she would never have expected, she was opening the final lock to her soul. And she was utterly and totally terrified of what was inside, of what he would see and perhaps absolutely loathe. “I express concerns because I’m not certain what to do. I’m unbalanced in my needs, my understanding of us. I’m just…” Tears were in her eyes as the realization hit her. She was terrified of losing him. There was no other way of putting the way she felt. “I don’t want to lose you.”
Drake’s eyes opened up wide. For a few seconds he remained quiet. “You’re not going to lose me. There is no way I’m going to allow what we have to disappear. You have to trust me on this more than any other aspect of your life.”
“I’m not certain that you do.”
“When I say these words you have to believe me. I’m raw inside, worried and frustrated with myself. But I love you and I need you to know I’m finally breaking free,” Kesha whispered, but the strong conviction in her heart was beating to the point she was breathless. Every day, every new experience was freeing.
“This is our journey together.” Drake leaned in close, his body crushing hers. “I’m not perfect at this. I’ll make mistakes. I’m learning just like you are.”
“I know that. I’m not questioning you at all.”
“I think you are. I think your ability to confide in me is in question.”
“No, it’s not. Not at all. This is more about questioning me.” Kesha was surprised hearing the edge in his voice. She wanted nothing more than to let go completely, give him the reins in every way, but her willful side was having difficulty. There had never been anyone in her life she’d allowed even a single concept of full trust. None. How many people had challenged her, pushed her to a point she couldn’t believe in her natural instinct about people any longer. But she knew in her heart she trusted him more than any other soul in her life.
Drake kissed her softly then immediately pulled back. “That I can understand but I hope in time your concerns will modify.”
“Every day I change as you do. The way we’re moving into such an incredible new passage in our relationship is eye opening. But I still…”
“Understandable.” He kissed her lips. “Are you okay?”
A wave of peace swept over her. “I’m more than okay.”
“Good. Tonight we have fun in a way in which you’re not used to.” Drake cupped both sides of her face. He traced a circle around her lips before pulling back. “Come with me.”
They both remained silent as he led her down the hallway to a room at the end of the corridor. She knew the hotel well enough to realize the door lead to a suite, a corner room with sweeping views and expansive luxuries. The top floor was booked and used by dignitaries and celebrities. And she had to wonder who was inside.
A quick knock and almost instantly the door was opened.
“What you’re going to find inside just might surprise you,” Drake breathed into her ear.
She loved the rather clandestine approach, the understanding of not knowing what was going to happen. The moment they were led into the room she was shocked at the normality of their actions. People were milling about enjoying drinks and conversations. Almost everyone was dressed in evening attire as if they were merely going out for the evening to a festive occasion. The atmosphere was jazzed but there were no signs of anything relate to BDSM. Somehow she could tell there was more going on behind the scenes.
“You’re surprised?” Drake asked as he nodded to the door attendant and led them into the room.
“I…” Kesha laughed nervously and looked down at her flaming red silk. He’d been very purposeful in his decision on what she was going to wear, something he rarely did. Now she knew why. “Yes. I have to admit I am.”
“Good. I like to keep you guessing. Let’s grab a drink.”
As he walked them toward a small but rather impressive looking bar nestled in the corner, she studied the guests, recognizing several. This was more than just unexpected. There were attorneys and judges, women who owned businesses and others who were well known in the community. “Wow.”
“Yes. They’re al enjoying the need for something out of the normal,” Drake said as he rubbed her back.
“Why are we here again?”
Drake gave her a sideways glance as the approached the bar. “Two cabernets.”
“Yes, sir.” The bartender didn’t look, barely acknowledged their presence.
He turned toward her and wrapped his arm around her waist. “Why?”
“Yes,” Kesha managed.
“Take a look outside at the balcony. What do you see?”
Her attention drawn to the expansive space, she narrowed her eyes and tried to hone in on what she could tell was some level of activity occurring. Torches and candles were lit in every corner, their wicks flickering in the wind, the effect eerie. In the luminescent light she could see there were several people on the balcony. The area wrapped around the three-sided room, the space able to accommodate at least a hundred people. “I’m not sure what you’re asking.
Nibbling on her ear he eased his hand to her waist, kneading her side as he pushed them both toward the window. “Try again.”
Kesha palmed the glass and had to blink several times in order to focus. There were at least three ‘X’ crosses adorning the balcony. “Oh my God.”
“Thirty floors above the din of the world and people are being disciplined. Do you see them? Do you know what’s happening?”
“Tell me what you see. Tell me what you’re thinking. Tell me what you want, what you crave.” His voice was soft but commanding.
There wasn’t a part of her that wasn’t shaking and the raw emotions soaring through every cell in her body. “I see women letting go.”
“I see passion and…”
“And?” he implored.
“I see complete freedom, unbridled passion.”
“Good. And tell me what you want?”
Kesha moaned softly as she patted the glass. She could see a girl, one who was naked and tied to the closest cross being whipped, and there wasn’t a part of her that wasn’t tingling all over. Her breath skipped, her heart racing to the point echoes were bouncing in her ears.
The way his groin was moving back and forth, his cock grinding into her ass left her breathless. “I want…” Oh God. What did she want?
She didn’t need to hear the sound of the whip to know the girl was in delicious anguish. “Jesus.”
The woman flinched, her body jerking back from the cross. God. Yes. Yes. She was… “I want to be there, be the woman tied and disciplined. I need to be punished for all my sins. I need to show you how devoted I am.” Every time the girl was whipped she was drawn further into the moment.
“Mmm…” Drake bit down on her neck then pulled her away from the window.
Kesha exhaled as she was led back to the bar and a few seconds later she realized she had a glass of wine in her hand.
“Drink my darling. Tonight is merely an adventure.” Drake tipped his glass.
As they toasted she swooned, her stomach lurching. The sip was worth savoring, the wine giving her a needed jolt of courage. Courage. Why? For some reason she remained uncertain.
Drake led them through the crowd, acknowledging only a few of those who turned to admire the stunning couple. “They see you and hunger for you.”
“They hunger for us.”
Laughing, he tapped her behind. “You’re right.” Every move was directed and he led them to the door leading to the deck. “I want you to see, to experience what will be.”
Holding her breath she attempted to drink in every sight, every sound as she was guided outside. The warm breeze was welcome given the very humid day. The group of people seemed enthralled by the level of activity, their attention completely drawn to the submissive in front of them being punished. What will be. The words lingered in her mind, the meaning clear.
“See how she reacts. Can you tell how much she’s enjoying her punishment?” Drake asked quietly as he led them to the fourth girl being whipped, the very one Kesha had been watching.
“Yes, sir I…” Her words continued to trail off. She was nervous yet titillated over the site.
“Oh!” the girl yelped as several additional strikes were issued.
With every slice of the whip, every whooshing sound she shivered. Her skin clammy, she licked the single bead of perspiration from her upper lip and crowded next to him.
Drake moved his hand under her dress, tapping his fingers on her ass cheeks. “A needed whipping.”
“One you need.”
He eased his hand around her neck, holding her tightly and walking them forward. “And one you’re going to receive right here.”
Well, what do you think? Should he whip her in front of everyone?
Kisses and spanks