Okay yes I have this one subtitled. Jealousy exists whether we want to believe or not. Being in a D/s relationship on any level doesn’t preclude the existence either. While I accept and embrace the fact John Patrick probably will bring another person into the relationship to some degree, that doesn’t mean I don’t have basic worries. I ended the last portion of the story with our heroine being a woman first, a submissive second. I don’t think I realized how cathartic the words truly were.
Yes, sometimes the vanilla life creeps into the journey John Patrick and I are sharing. I think when this happens then its good time for us both to reflect. I’d certainly fallen into being that way with him as a woman first and while yes, that’s true, my place as a submissive is in some ways more important. Trust me when it comes to knowing he might hunger for another woman, the natural reflexes kick in – much like they may with the heroine of our story. Then he and I talk, he makes certain I realize several things – including the fact he’s completely committed to us and to me and we move on.
Today was one of those difficult conversations given he’d mentioned something simple about a girl and I really wasn’t trying to but I guess I pushed back enough he realized I was a tad jealous – not of the girl per say. I don’t know her and I’m very secure in me and I us, but he realized that was more of the vanilla side taking over. He’s right. He usually is. So we re-center me. In our growth as a couple I’ve been realizing as of late I need to show him in additional ways how I long to submit and that’s tough given our circumstances. I found a website yesterday and had one of the ‘duh’ moments. You know the kind – where you finally see something so very simple as if for the first time.
I want him to feel my submission no matter where he is. He needs to feel the strength of his control or domination over me at all times and that’s tough to do when you aren’t together 24/7. Some of the aspects I have to self police and a few months ago I wouldn’t have been ready. Imagine every day having to say a mantra in front of the mirror, saying words to myself at night before I go to sleep about belonging to him. That’s not something you do on a normal basis. He will have other protocol for me when we’re together of course, but being close to him with certain aspects when we’re not together will help me with a mindset, a need to move into the submissive role. Yes, it’s becoming easier over time but I still have missteps. I’m still that girl inside, the one with various fears.
John Patrick has them as well. We talk about them. We work through them and we share the experiences together. That’s what this amazing journey is all about – communication in order to continue building unbridled trust. I’ve said this on my blog many times – be patient and understanding not only of your Dom but also of yourself. This journey has many nuances, many aspects that create fear of the unknown. No one is perfect in this so give yourself a break. I told him I had to reflect this morning. He’s been so amazing with telling me everything, including when he’s attracted to someone else. I do the same with him. It’s called being completely free to talk about anything. That’s the most positive aspect of our relationship. I refuse to allow my vanilla girl side to interfere – see the bridge to a mantra here?
He read what I sent him about my concept of adding rituals, even when I’m alone, and he’s issued some new mandates. Remember he’s not a rule maker just to make rules kind of guy. They have to be right for us and the time. Yes, he feels the need to pull be further in, control a few more aspects – but its about helping us both center, not about inflicting rules on me. His methods work on me – the willful woman. They just do. So back to the story – last installment of this one. I think it’ll bring some things full circle. What he and I know very easily is that I need more discipline, guidance and yes, very harsh punishments. I’ve learned that I would benefit from a higher frequency. The spanking sessions keep me grounded, focused. When I don’t have them for long lengths of time I tend to stray from being submissive. That’s where the new rituals should help in the interim. We’ll see. Now back to the story. Can you imagine a woman asking for a spanking form a man she barely knows? Happens all the time.
“None of that or I’ll have to give you five additional.” Gavin pulled her hand away and glanced at Tonya. She was sitting as instructed with her back straight, the posture perfect. Her training had been well received. In truth he was a bit surprised she was remaining in position. Only her shaking left leg gave her away.
“Ooohhh…I…” Candace gulped as she wiggled, her arms flailing.
He pressed his hand on the small of her back then rubbed both reddened ass cheeks. He was going easy since this was her first spanking and was shocked at how well she was behaving. The fact she asked for the spanking had been a delight. He’d been able to tell Candace was turned on from witnessing Tonya’s earlier whipping. “Ten more and we’re done.”
“Ten? No fucking way!” Candace seemed to realize what she’d done almost immediately. “Fuck me,” she whispered under her breath.
“Now we’re up to fifteen.”
“Sir, I don’t know if you should…” Tonya groaned. “I mean it’s not fair at all.”
He tipped his head, actually amused she wanted to protect her friend, but in this circumstance she’d crossed the line herself and knew her predicament could only get worse. “Not fair? Do you have something to say, Tonya?”
“No sir.” Shifting on the seat, she winced as if feeling every hard strike she’d received throughout the evening.
“Then I suggest you remain quiet. This is Candace’s time for discipline.”
“Now, let’s get this finished. I know you want to be a very good girl, treat others with respect and honesty and you’re tense from your job. Is that correct, Candace?”
“Yes…I…umm…yes sir?” The answer was tentative, muffled.
Exhaling slowly he continued to rub her ass cheeks until she seemed ready for more. “A hard spanking will definitely get you back on track. Let’s continue.”
Candace bit back a cry and her hand flew back once again but she caught herself, groaning as she placed both hands back on the carpet.
“When you get stressed to the point you’re lashing out at everyone, all you have to do is ask and I’ll give you the punishment you need. We’ll get you refocused again.” He kept his voice even and soothing. Deciding to push her edge he spanked her harder, peppering one after the other.
Crack! Pop! Crack!
When he was finished she was crying softly, no longer struggling. After the spanking he kept his hand on the small of her back and all three remained quiet for a full two minutes. He breathed in and smiled. “Very well done for your first time. Very well done.”
“Thank…you…sir…” This time the words came easily from Candace’s mouth.
Gavin could tell Tonya was holding back her emotions. With every strike he issued to Candace he heard Tonya gasp, could see her facial expressions change. She was mesmerized but also apprehensive, her lower lip quivering.
Tonya was breathing heavily and she took a sip then a gulp of her drink. “I’ll be right back.”
When the punishment session was finished she made an excuse about refreshing her drink, disappearing into the kitchen. She was having difficulty, something he would have to deal with right up front. This wasn’t meant to hurt their friendship in any manner. “Yes indeed. You did very well. I’m very pleased with you,” he stated firmly as he rubbed the back of Candace’s neck.
She whimpered then struggled to move from his lap. “I…”
“Take your time. Let me help you.” Tugging down her dress he was surprised as the mixture of feelings, the rawness of his emotions. The high was incredible yet he was concerned he’d crossed the line, perhaps put his relationship with Tonya in jeopardy. He knew he had to push back his thoughts and make certain Candace was handling the spanking well. Well. The word wasn’t nearly adequate.
“Thank you, sir.” Candace had her eyes closed as he eased her onto her feet. She sucked in her breath and pressed the back of her hand over her mouth.
He held her arm, keeping her steady until her breathing slowed. “How do you feel?”
“Well,” Candace managed as she smoothed down her dress and took a step back. “I feel… I feel amazing.” The laugh was short, clipped, and her face was flushed with embarrassment. She stole a glance at him then looked away. “I don’t know what else to say.”
“Do you feel more structured, centered and less tense?”
She opened her mouth as if to answer then smiled. “I actually do. I can’t say I’d want that experience all the time, but I can see why this would work for Tonya. I really do.” The words were said as if she was shocked she’d enjoyed the experience.
“Well good. Then I’ve done my job.” Rising to his feet he looked toward the kitchen, pleased that Tonya had at least been able to accept seeing Candace in this manner. When she walked back into the room she seemed under control. They’d talked about the concept for several days, but actually doing this was something else entirely. ”Tonya?”
“Yes sir.” Tonya’s smile remained.
Whether or not her smile was practiced, he was glad to see she wasn’t in any obvious distress. While he could tell little from facial expression, her eyes were soulful, misty. She’d been crying.
Candace seemed to sense Tonya’s presence and turned to face her. For a few seconds both women remained quiet. “I can see why you talk about his firm hand.” She laughed again, this time the sound was laced with a nervous edge.
“He’s very thorough,” Tonya whispered as she moved closer. “You’ll be sore in the morning no doubt.”
Rubbing her ass Candace smiled. “I can tell.” She looked back and forth between Gavin and Tonya. “I’ll go and freshen up.”
Gavin waited until Candace left the room before moving toward Tonya. “You approve?”
“Of you spanking her? Of course, sir.”
“Are you certain?” Rubbing his hand down the length of her arm he brushed the tip of his finger across the back of her hand. When a single shuddered moan escaped her mouth he wrapped his hand around hers. “It was just a spanking, one you know she needed.”
Her lower lip quivered as she nodded. “I know and I think she appreciated. Is that fair to say?”
Laughing, Gavin knew the lilt in her voice was with difficulty. “Very fair to say.”
“And how did spanking her make you feel?”
“Spectacular. Honestly, I loved every minute of whipping her. There is a kind of high I can’t explain, almost euphoric in truth.” When Tonya looked down he lifted her chin with a single finger. “However, never forget you’re my wife, my lover and my submissive. Remember what we talked about?”
“Yes.” She tried to look away.
“Tell me. Tell me what we’ve talked about.”
She hesitated and closed her eyes. “We talked about…”
“Look at me.” Gavin knew his voice was commanding.
Obeying instantly she licked her lips then cleared her throat. “That even if we bring another submissive into our life I’ll be your first always.”
“Yes and Candace is by no means that woman. This was merely a spanking. Do you understand?”
“Do you?” He rubbed his thumb across her mouth and could visibly see her tension easing.
“Yes sir I do. I just… I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how nervous that would make me.”
“It’s all right. You did very well. Just a tiny infraction.” Gavin moved his hand to around her neck, squeezing just enough to get her attention. “She knew she needed a spanking and she asked for one. You understand the need.” Lowering his head he captured his mouth, instantly pressing his tongue inside. He held her tightly, his hand never leaving her neck. The kiss was passionate, a reminder of their love. When he eased back he licked across her mouth then placed both hands on her shoulders, giving her a stern look.
“Sir, I’m sorry I interfered.”
“You know you’re going to be punished for that, no matter the reason. I know you were and are concerned about your friend but you know the rules.” He was surprised she seemed instantly resigned to the fact she was going to indeed be disciplined for opening her mouth. This was unchartered territory for both of them, sharing these moments of punishment with another. He wanted nothing more than for her to remember the night fondly, but he also needed to make certain she knew he was in control – of both women.
“Yes sir. I’m really sorry.” Frowning, Tonya looked into his eyes. “A third spanking after she leaves, sir?”
“No. I think you’ve had enough spankings for tonight and I’m not certain another one would do any good.” When her eyes opened wide he realized he had to think fast. Nothing came to mind. As he looked up, the blank wall on the other side of the room caught his attention. He was pushing the envelope but knew this was the right decision.
“Then what, sir?”
Gavin took a step back. “Remove your clothes and go stand in the corner where you’ll remain as I talk with Candace about her experience and send her on her way. After that we’re going to take the time to talk about your feelings before we go to bed. You need some corner time to reflect, to bring yourself back to a center point. I think the humiliation you’ll experience will remind you of your place. Do you understand me?”
Tonya was shaking, her mouth twisting as she darted looked toward the hallway, toward the bathroom where Candace was. She clucked her jaw and seemed to be debating whether or not to obey.
“Tonya. Do I need to remind you who is in charge? Do we need to have another session with my belt tonight?”
After a few seconds she shook her head. “No sir. Corner time and thank you, sir.”
He could tell she was gritting her teeth. This was perhaps the most difficult thing he’d asked her to do and in truth, he wasn’t certain how he felt about it. “Go on. I think you know this is good for you.” Taking a step back he nodded toward the corner and moved toward the coffee table, picking up his drink. He realized his hands were shaking and for a few seconds he kept his mouth shut for fear of exposing his joy in this. Joy. My God, was he a sick man? Was he turning into a sadist? No, this was about regaining control, helping his wife understand she was indeed his number one always. She also needed his guidance as well as his dominance over her at this very moment.
When she was completely naked she gave him a look before moving to the corner, her gait slow.
“Keep your nose pressed to the wall and your hands by your side. Do you understand me?”
“Yes sir,” Tonya managed just as Candace came back into the room.
Gasping, Candace blushed and slapped her hand over her mouth.
“Its all right. We’re just finishing Tonya’s punishment for interfering with your discipline. Let’s go and talk. I want to conclude the evening with hearing about things in your life you feel the need to be punished for.” As he guided her out of the room he felt a twinge of worry creeping into his system. He had a lot to learn about being a dominant.
Well, what do you think? I know, I pushed the envelope a little but certain aspects of humiliation are really good in methods of discipline. Now, I wouldn’t suggest this unless you really feel comfortable and safe with a friend, but the added concept is delicious indeed. I hope you enjoyed.
Kisses and spanks…