Discipline VS Playtime


Ooohhhh…. The whooshing sound as a belt moves through the air gives me the tingles, reminds me I AM a submissive. Are you cringing? There is a debate in society about whether you were born Dominant or submissive much like if you were born heterosexual or homosexual. My personal believe is that you are indeed born predicated a certain way and often times society pushes us in one direction of another. For me to realize I’m not only a submissive, but also one who needs a firm hand, a strong man was freeing. The further realization I thrive on strict discipline wasn’t necessarily difficult to accept, but certainly gave me pause –Jessie learning sometimes still does. When I receive a spanking it hurts like hell. I wear the bruises for days and I should as a reminder I broke the rules. I’ve had many a conversation with John Patrick about the fact I do indeed need his strong hand and I tend to be much more focused, able to let go of the basic bullshit in my life. Yes, we all deal with crap and honestly, you’ve heard me say this before, many a woman would be much better off receiving regular spankings.

I have a career that I can tell you I wouldn’t recommend to my worst enemy. Managing Community Associations is like herding cattle in the middle of a raging ice storm. Adults who think they are all that plus a big gulp size of chips really makes me want to do BAD BAD things and I don’t mean in a kinky way. My life is filled with stress. I lash out uncontrollably at times, mouthing off just because I need the release. A better release for me as a woman has been when John Patrick realizes I need to be re-centered. His belt tends to do that for me.

He also enjoys playtime, taking me into a space set aside for nothing but exploring aspects of kink – BDSM. His enjoying the darker side of sex is changing as is mine as we learn and grow. I’m certainly not afraid to try anything with him because of the level of trust I have. I also know he realizes with nothing more than a text when I’m off center, needing him to take control of my emotions. It’s a very powerful feeling for me understanding now innately he gets every aspect of the woman inside – the one troubled by emotions and society – let alone the fact I dream about killing certain people in my associations. Thank GOD I’m a writer, eh? I take out those frustrations by adding them to a scene – one particularly bloody. But it’s often not enough. So yes, he disciplines me. But at times he wants to play – and he whips me in a similar fashion. Hmmm… Quandary.

Jessie offeringWhether you’re in the lifestyle or not, you’ve probably seen either portions of a movie, been forced to read 50 Shades of bullshit or have seen pictures of submissives being whipped on crosses or over benches. This is a BDSM related activity, or what some consider playtime. As I’ve mentioned before, not every couple participates in BDSM within a D/s lifestyle. I think many gravitate toward some aspects, but of course every couple is different. It struck me the other day (no pun intended here) that there is discipline within the majority of D/s or DD (Domination/submission or Domestic Discipline) couples for disobedience. The methods used are as varied as the implements selected.

This was actually an interesting conversation I had with John Patrick. I’ve mentioned before, his very dark side is increasing. When I say dark, I would say that’s based on what those involved in a vanilla relationship might say. We’ve talked about various methods of inflicting pain from whippings to the use of conducted electricity like the violet wand. He’s very into whipping and clamping, longing to learn how to hogtie and the man enjoys his anal toys! His pushes my boundaries carefully every time and in turn I long for more. Enough said. I think you get the vivid vision. Of course floggers and whips can be used along with canes and paddles for playtime as whipping seems to be universally enjoyed. These implements are also used often for punishment for disobedience. Whether you’re over his knee being spanked with a bare hand or his belt being used, many Dom’s (John Patrick included) prefer doling out punishment this way versus the removal of privileges or corner time – at least so far.

I’ve given him a list of some pretty intense questions to ponder and he told me they’re getting easier for him to answer. What I might not have mentioned is he is a processor, a planner. His personality likes things in a particular order so the concept of control for him is damn powerful indeed. He continues to be surprised at the way I can let go of my domination over most folks, giving him control of various aspects of my life. No, I can’t give him full reign merely because our life doesn’t allow, but the parts that I do is exhilarating for both of us. So knowing I need discipline in my life and we enjoy playtime, I had to ask a particular question. See what you think.

How do u see the difference in play time versus discipline and how will u differentiate with me? 

Although playtime and discipline may look similar, there is a vast difference between the two. Playtime is just that. I will set up a scene and take you through it, building up the intensity and pushing you farther, stretching your limits and concluding with an orgasm (or several!) and then administering some level of Jessie Pensiveaftercare to bring you back and settle your mind.

With discipline, you will always be told why it’s being done and why I feel it’s needed. There is no regard to your enjoyment, just making certain you are aware of and learn from your infraction. The severity will be determined by the infraction and what I feel is necessary for you to learn from it and never let it happen again. Afterwards, it will be considered finished, the problem resolved and we move on from readdressing it again, unless you did not learn a lesson and then it will be dealt with in a much more severe fashion.

Whew and trust me I have broken the same rule more than once. Yes, he knows exactly how to readdress – lordy. Don’t you love hearing his answers? I think the frankness in his words, the way he truly takes time to think about what he’s trying to say is utterly amazing. Btw, all he has to do is look at me a particular way, his big brown eyes telling me in no uncertain terms I fucked up, and I cringe inside. I hate disappointing him in any manner. HATE IT. I think that really shows how much my journey with John Patrick has changed and is growing. What do you think about the difference? As a Dom, how do you show your submissive one versus the other? As a submissive, if he spanks you one way – do you know? Something to ponder…

Kisses and spanks



About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
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