Spanking… How hard can your ass take the strike of a belt?
What do you think about when you hear the single word? Well I think for the majority of people, we think about children misbehaving. Even then, spanking our child has become basically illegal. Do NOT get me started after the week I’ve had. There are a hell of a lot of adults who need to be spanked or at minimum sent to the corner for some “quiet time”, let alone children who could use a solid regime of being disciplined in the ways we were as a kid. What few of us realize is that the use of spankings as punishment are on the rise – for marriages and other intimate relationships. Why? Well, we’ve already addressed why. As I begin to wind down my blog series (I think I’ve shown you a fairly decent number of implements that can be used with desired success) I wanted to take the concept just a step further and one few couples may practice. I’ve found John Patrick uses several methods of discipline in our journey – trying to find the right balance.
That’s the key with any amount of discipline whether punitive punishment or being chastised at work, jail time or simply being taken over your husband or spouse’s knee. Balance is key. What works for some certainly doesn’t work for others. For me? John Patrick has figured out my balance is changing. My need to be spanked on a regular basis is increasing and there are various reasons. He’s also much more comfortable with him dominance over me and his understanding he needs more control as well. This blog is going to explore some alternatives within the realm of spanking.
Being spanked – paddled, whipped, belted or flogged. Don’t the words just resonate with you? I honestly didn’t realize until about four years ago I truly wanted to embrace being taken in hand in a relationship. Now, I’ve had certain tendencies all my life or needs I couldn’t put into words, but to truly embrace the fact I wanted something outside of the traditional vanilla relationship? Well, that takes guts, a heightened level of courage few people have. That also takes facing the inner person, the one who’s been trained by parents, previous relationships and the social world including various forms of media. Now that I’ve been writing and blogging, learning and experiencing, I truly respect couples that can incorporate spanking/discipline/punishment in all phases of their lives.
Spanking… What if the desire to use increases in both the Dominant and the submissive?
The thought alone makes me cringe and salivate at the same time. I long for John Patrick’s firm hand, for him to pull me over his lap and use his bare hand. I crave when he stands in front of me, looking down (only in my bare feet) and says in no uncertain terms I need discipline. Why? I think I’ve pretty much established why. I thrive on his control and nurturing domination. I had no clue I would focus and truly see more clearly given guidance and yes, pretty severe punishment. I’ve been particularly reflective as of late, given some life bullshit we all have to deal with. In my thinking I continue to try and figure out why I hunger. Maybe this is like similar aspects of our lives in which we just ‘are’. There may be no way to explain the need other than to say the desire or feelings are innate.
As John Patrick and I move along the path embracing both his side of control and my journey into submission, we’ve certainly talked about as well as explored other avenues of discipline. As I’ve mentioned before, punishment and pain can be different things within your particular dynamic. Bringing this out and clarifying in my writing can be tough as times. How can you differentiate between a commanding figure that uses his dominance in ways of discipline versus when the behavior begins to move into darker kink and playtime? Tougher than you might think. Why do I mention? Because in talking with people, those who are both completely vanilla as well as some involved in the D/s or BDSM community, there are varied thoughts about spanking versus other methods of issuing pain.
Spanking… What if you were spanked in other places on your body?
So I wanted to explore given a conversation I had with John Patrick the other night. As you all know, we can’t be together all the time. He and I are both trying to figure out methods of control as well as allowing me the grasp, if you will, my realization that his love and support is there all the time, even though he may be miles away. I hunger for him in many ways and on that night, in feeling particularly lonely, asked if I could pleasure myself. I don’t ask often. Yes, he permitted with certain parameters including whipping myself. Yes, the place of choice has nothing to do where I sit down. This is where the alternative style of spankings comes in. he asked me to spank myself in one place on my body – my pussy. Yes, he did. Don’t run away screaming just yet.
For those of you who are gasping in horror, just breathe for a minute. Being spanked across the breasts or the pussy is considered harsh for some and playtime for others. The sensations are amazing. That I can tell you. For John Patrick and I, the various methods are simply an extension of both play and punishment. Yes, the dichotomy is interesting in pretty much every dynamic. What you can imagine is that the level of pain is entirely different than being spanked on the ass. There is more padding on your butt cheeks than the breasts or pussy. Can these spankings go too far? Well of course, just like any other aspect of using punishment. Washing his or her mouth out can go too far if you don’t know what you’re doing. You have to be smart about this or any practice of bridging BDSM. Every Dom has to educate himself just like with fire cupping or the use of a flogger.
When John Patrick felt comfortable enough to broach the subject, I already trusted him implicitly. There wasn’t any doubt. Our relationship had and continues to grow to different levels, ones that allow us to talk about any or every aspect of using pain as a methodology of heightening his dominance. There’s a mouthful for you. Right?
What I’m simply saying is that he is not only more comfortable in increasing my pain but enjoys his personal exploration. For me, seeing both of our growth within this dynamic lifestyle, I’m eager to delve into other aspects – CAREFULLY.
So he’s used his hand, his belt and yes, the dreaded quirt in whipping various areas on my body. Does it hurt like hell? You bet, but what I found is the level of excitement and desire builds in me more than I would have ever imagined. The short bursts of smacks certainly garner my attention. Yes, the argument will forever stand – is this really discipline or something else? Well, I would say both – depending on how the punishment is used. Why do I say this? Because I’m changing as a woman and in my personal journey, I’m truly grasping that so much of what I crave and thrive on now versus when I began my relationship with John Patrick has zero to do with his belt or a paddle, the use of his hand or quirt, placing me in the corner or his decision to cane my breasts. Let this rumble in the back of your mind. What settles my raging mind more than anything? What drives me into my continuing trust within myself as well as with John Patrick? Remember the word balance.
Challenge for you – tell me what you think. Close your eyes and imagine your relationship. What drives you – and I mean you – as a woman and your needs, no matter what they are? Hmmm… This might be much more complicated than you think OR this might be very simple. Let me know and I’ll tell you my thoughts tomorrow…
Kisses and spanks…