Red. My favorite color in clothing, lingerie and the perfume I wear. Yes, Giorgio has a cologne called ‘RED’. The delicious fragrance suits my personality, bold and bodacious. Hence my Fetlife name. Oddly enough, you can no longer purchase in a department store. I can only find my delightful fragrance in a Walgreen’s. No laughing! The spicy exotic brew is so me. Yes, I wear other perfumes including Obsession, but RED personifies me, the way I am as a woman, both powerful and willful. People tell me red is my signature color and I indulge in purchasing dresses, shoes, bras, thongs and lingerie in the sassy color.
Red is also the color of hard spankings. Mmm… I was listening to a favorite Metal band, Halestorm, and their new song Apocalyptic and one of the lines was about her blood red lips, another was his red handprint on her ass and her nails scratching down his back. Every time I hear the song I think of Sir, the way we are together, our combined needs. He loves to see me in red, although any vibrant color induces certain lust filled as well as sadistic thoughts. We’re nearing Valentine’s Day and I’ve been thinking about what the holiday means to every couple. What do you think about the day of love shared, time spent together with gifts and treats? Are you romantic? Do you both share in the same traditions year after year – too many dollars spent on candy no one really needs and red roses that cost two or three times what they should?
Don’t get me wrong, I love the concept of sharing a day full of love and intimacy, but for D/s couples, the traditional and very vanilla concept simply doesn’t fill our needs. We might enjoy gifts, but candy? Really guys? And is Valentine’s Day the only time you purchase flowers? UGH. That’s all I have to say. I’m not a traditionalist in any manner. My flowers of choice are a bit out of the ordinary. I do love white roses, but I prefer then given for no particular reason at all. For all the romantics out there, what would you prefer that the love of your life gift you on what is considered a hallowed day? What about going out to dinner?
You might or might not dress up. (few Americans do for any occasion any longer) then go to a very crowded place where the prices are jacked up, have a glass of wine or two and call it a night? Maybe for the lucky few you go back home, start a roaring fire, open a bottle of champagne and neck a little? Eh, okay that’s not bad but my guess is you’re not really into the moment. Maybe you had a tough day at work and the time spent, let alone the dollars, give you heartburn more than anything. Sounds a bit sad to me.
Yes, of course there’s lingerie or perfume, but I think the majority of men are intimidated by these kinds of purchases unless they have a clear directive. I don’t know about you, ladies, but I long to be surprised, to know he’s been paying attention to the woman inside. This does go both ways. For the chick who purchased clothes or a window scraper for Christmas – really? Come on. Your guy is a big kid, longing for toys and treats just like we do. He needs to know that while you might loathe the fact he plays video games or listens to a type of music you can’t stand, that you’ll go out of your way to find the perfect gift he’ll actually enjoy. The ideas are endless. Both sexes just fall into an ugly routine. BORING. There is no way this indicates the love or devotion you feel.
What was my gift of choice last year from Sir? Let’s just say that a very special butt plug, silver with a red jewel on the end, was a part of the bright crimson package with the lovely gold bow. The red collar and Red Hots (one of the few candies I can or will eat) made me smile. No, of course this isn’t traditional in any manner, but this was his way of beginning what would solidify our need to explore a D/s lifestyle. While we’d already had many conversations on our respective needs, the single gift moved us both to a different plane. My gift to him? That’s for another blog…
We’ve already talked about the realization for me and for my sexy Sir that love has to be a part of our being. We’re not the kind of people who can just know someone and move into a very intense relationship, faking trust on either side. Of course the conversations, so varied in nature, broke down certain walls, allowing us to truly be ourselves, but love was/is the single reason for both of us the dark side of D/s is such an intoxicating draw. Giving gifts is easy, a special and very sensual moment because we know each other. We talk and share, we open up in ways few couples do. We laugh and talk, learn as we grow.
In D/s, there are other kinds of ‘gifts’ as well. I’ve often teased him that going into a Home Depot or Lowes together would be a fascinating observation for those around us. Imagine if we went to the chain and rope department. They cut to order any size, link, amount etc. I can see the gleam in Sir’s eyes as he selects both a perfect rope, and a series of chains in which to bind me. Knowing the way he is about everything, he’ll scrutinize carefully, tugging and fingering both, perhaps placing the rope around my neck, the chain around my wrists. Just a test of course. Think about the Home Depot worker and their reaction? Do you think they’ve seen this every day? Well…
You can laugh but we’ve talked about this more than once. To find cuffs, a whip, a paddle and a set of chains in a bag would make Sir the happiest kid on the block. His big brown eyes would drink in every inch, his fingers brushing up and down the leather strap. Then he’d plan, process, and develop how he was going to inflict pain. WHEW… I know what that would mean – a red ass on my part.
Sir craves seeing me in flannel and one a single occasion I sent him a photo of me donned only in a plaid flannel shirt. NOT my finest day I think, but he said I looked awesome. I can only imagine a romantic evening of his choice. Me in this dreadful plaid, a roaring fire, a bottle of red wine of course, and a basket full of toys. I doubt the shirt would stay on long, given he’d want to spank my ass – what other color but red? I tingle at the thought. We often think of sex for Valentine’s Day and of course sex of any type for me is particular delicious, to Sir as well, but… If you only have sex on holidays or your anniversary, what does that tell you?
With D/s couples, sex is truly only icing on the cake. Sir and I are about entails so many other incredible aspects. Talking while sharing a glass of wine is much more intimate than engaging in any traditional sex act. And yes, sometimes even with vanilla couples this is merely an act – something you have to do. Personally I think D/s couples are much more involved with each other, needs and desires and of course certain aspects of domination. Our perfect evening wouldn’t have an ending that you might expect. Then again, love does guide the heart. The heart wants what it wants. For us? We want it all.
For this Valentine’s Day, be less traditional. Think outside the box. I know what that means for us… And yes kink and spankings will be involved.
Kisses and spanks…