Pain, Lust, Love, Sex…

As you can probably tell, I’ve been writing and editing today given the title. I have a brand new collection titled Power Exchange and the pieces move into dub con (dubious consent). Yes, this is the latest craze in stories about Domination and submission. Every aspect of what we do in our society seems to push the boundaries at some point. We grow tired of the same thing, hungering for the extreme. Every reality show encompasses more, whether sex, violence or pain. I have to sit back and wonder what the future is going to bring. Just like we all crane our necks when we pass by a horrific accident, Only My Handlonging to see the carnage, we want to live life vicariously through someone else’s moments – no matter how bloody or disgusting they are.

Dub con does stretch me as an author and the stories are by no means the only aspect I want to write. In truth, I prefer true thrillers. Getting into the minds of killers and madmen fascinates me, however we all have such a dark need inside, exploring the various facets and this continues to entice me. Let’s face it ladies, we all long to be taken almost violently at least once in our lives.

Romance certainly isn’t dead, but Pandora’s Box has been yanked open, the nasty yet tasty details inside exposed for the world to see. I’m not even talking about Fifty Shades of Gray, although the buzz around the movie is interesting. I’m really talking about the underlying darkness, unbridled kink. Handcuffs and light spanking in the bedroom are completely passé now. In fact, this almost seems laughable. Very vanilla and conservative couples are delving into aspects of BDSM more than ever. Yes, I cringe at times, given so many have no idea what they’re asking for.

Still, the push in the direction of acts defying the concept of basic love and marriage is here – there’s no denying the fact. I was asked by a publisher to push my personal boundaries and I have in several stories. Power Exchange is just a taste, not too extreme by any means, but enough to wet your appetite. What I realized when I was editing Taken today, is that nearly every word is centered around my own thoughts and desires, those I share with Sir almost every day.

I’ve mentioned his dark side has bridged the surface. He longs to explore various aspects of kink with me that would probably terrify so many. Of course the concepts aren’t without forethought or very serious conversations, but I realized how excited I was by my own piece. Readers have often asked me if I’m turned on when I write such heady sex scenes. The answer is no. I’m the author, giving a voice to my characters, but the dub con pieces have my mind reeling. I’ve had many a delicious fantasy, placing myself in the midst of the piece.

As many of you know, I listen to some pretty heavy metal music when I write, especially sex scenes. I can’t write about ass fucking to pop music. There’s no connection. There’s a song in particular that inspired the name of this blog and I sat back, thinking about the words and what they meant not only to my writing, but also to the girl inside.


Pain is an intoxicating part of my writing as well as what I experience with Sir. Jessie PensiveIs this an every day occurrence? Well of course not. We both have lives away from each other and a huge percentage is very vanilla. We have to work, share time with friends etc. Even when we’re together, pain is a stimulating thought, but not acted on all the time. His very dark side allowed me to see inside the man, his whispered commands telling me in no uncertain terms what he wants and will do to me at some point, but he’s yet to act out on the majority of them.

Spanking of course is primary in our relationship. His increasing desire has moved from discipline or punishment to a much more intense need. He longs to whip me all over, using various implements. He’s talked about aspects of electric play and needles, but I assure you, even if we do move down this dark path, it won’t be without a hell of a lot of conversations as well as skills learned. Still, the desire rests within both of us, a subspace of sorts conceptualized.

I can’t quite put into words how the raw emotions after pain has been inflicted draw us closer together. There’s simply no way to comprehend this without having experienced yourself. Even as I write about various acts, now able to truly express how they feel on paper, I find it difficult to explain the intense need.

In Taken, my heroine craves what she’s never had, knowing she won’t be fulfilled until she finds the one man who can give her what she’s desired for years. Does she have concerns, questioning her very sanity? Of course, but in the end, the release is ecstasy for her.


Lust is a universal feeling. There isn’t a single man or woman alive who hasn’t looked across a room and hungered for no apparent reason other than basic attraction. Lust is very carnal, unexplainable and can drive normally sane men and women into acts they’d never consider otherwise. I lust like any other woman and this isn’t confined to Sir, although the total package keeps me wet and hot. I can enjoy looking, my thoughts moving into very lust filled areas, toward many men, regardless of age or color.

I take pride in the fact I can lust after a man period. As you can probably imagine, Sir is older but I find him sexier than a pretty much any other guy, even the young bloods who continue to ask for some ‘time’ with me. While I appreciate their advances, trust me any woman does, I long for what an older man can give – true passion. Lust is a beautiful thing in any relationship. I’ve been asked if there’s lust in D/s. Are you kidding me? I have to hunger for the man first before I can submit. There just isn’t another way for this girl.


Does true love exist? I can tell you without a doubt yes. I never really believed in the fairy tale where I’d ride off on the white steed behind a man who saved me, galloping into the sunset. Then there’s the whole white picket fence and golden retriever story or the billionaire who finds a waif and takes her away from poverty. Hog wash. But love? I know what that means as I share with Sir. His love is expressed in various ways, little of which having to do with our D/s relationship.

He showers me with words and feelings, raw emotions he’s never been able to Rillfulshare with anyone else. Sometimes just a few texts fill my heart. The joys we share together are often very vanilla, but they lead to the desire to move to the dark side as well. I can’t figure out all of the intricacies of how or why and I’m not certain I want to. Love is simply love, whether same sex, interracial, D/s or polyamory.


Sex is without a doubt delicious and necessary to keep any relationship alive and thriving. There simply isn’t way to refute this. We share intimacy when we engage in any method of sexual activity. The closeness shared is a joy for both, as long as you’re willing to be uninhibited in your desires. I know many couples who see sex as nothing but a chore. I choke then laugh. Really? I love sex, could engage in the wondrous act three times a day. Is sex everything in a relationship? Of course not.

However, if you can’t be completely open and honest sexually, how can you grow together? Why are other countries so far advanced in their sexual appetites than America? We watch porn behind the scenes but refuse to talk together about various acts? Come on folks. Dildos, nipples clamps, floggers and handcuffs aren’t dirty words. They are merely an extension of lusting, hungering, loving and wanting. If there’s pain involved as well – mmmmm…

I’ll leave you with the synopsis for Power Exchange – Taken. I’m very proud of the piece and hope you enjoy. Coming tomorrow…

Kisses and spanks…


Power Exchange – Taken 

Buried inside all of us are dark desires, needs so heinous we refuse to acknowledge for fear of retribution. But we crave… 

I hunger for a powerful man, one strong enough to tame the woman inside. For highly respected attorney, Jess Parker, the words had unleashed a hunger she could no longer control. Her days were filled with prosecuting monsters, vile men and women content on vanquishing the sanctity of their lives. Her taken-cover-v2-mednights were something else entirely. Fantasies of finding a dominating man, one who could yank away the tight confines of her conservative life, finally filtered into her waking hours. Tasked with prosecuting a brutal and very political murder case, her needs were put on hold – until a chance meeting changed everything.

Randolph ‘Craze’ Mitchell was a loner, preferring long rides on his Harley to human companionship. Every aspect of his life was well planned, organized and exactly what he didn’t want. His dark desires, sexual needs encompassing vile acts of kink and humiliation, were kept locked away. No woman could withstand his requirements. No one knew the real man or the secrets he held. Painting his only solace, he’d come to terms with remaining very much alone – until a vivacious woman crossed his path, daring to push past his tightly woven shield of armor.

The two entered into a passionate and dark journey, the question of consent never far from the surface. Both craved what the other offered, terrified of discovery, but they couldn’t stay away. Every act shared pushed their respective boundaries, fulfilling their carnal needs, until reality thrust them into the light of day. Faced with a choice, one that could end their careers, they were forced to face their suffocating demons.

Hunger. Sex. Control. Humiliation. Domination. Anguish. Submission.

The burning needs remained…

About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
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