Reality Shows and BDSM…Do They Mix?

Would you ever consider talking openly with your Dom about your life as a submissive in front of the camera, allowing the work to see you in a completely different way? What if every one of your friends and family learned your dark secret, one you’ve kept away from everyone just by turning on the television? What if mom or dad learned you long to be tied and beaten? Interesting questions?

I as set to write a completely different blog today when an email addressed to Cass caught A single touchmy attention. I read then re-read the few paragraphs again and smiled. When I read the request, and the premise around the email, the concept certainly made my mind reel. The email is regarding a new reality show where couples volunteer to have their very vanilla sex lives spices up. Can you think about one of these methods? Well, BDSM of course. Initially I shivered simply because I’m fairly sick to death of reality shows. I don’t want to see alligator wrestlers or those battling the Alaska weather. I’m done with one after another. I need fantasy. I long for blood and gore, terror and passion. Well, I digress.

Reality shows are extremely popular, often watched more than any drama or thriller. They provide a level of entertainment and a look into real lives, other people simply trying to live out a day. I remember the beginning days of some of the shows. Now? Just about anything goes and the wilder, more violent or perverted the better. Sex and violence sell.

The second and much more important reason I cringed is simply because in trying to convey the responsibility surrounding entering into a BDSM lifestyle is huge. HUGE. Whether you, as a couple, are being introduced to a club, one you have no clue about what to expect, or entering into a 24/7 situation, there’s a lot that needs to be discussed and disclosed. Let’s start with honesty about ourselves and our needs. Do you really think a round of being tied to the ‘X’ cross and whipped by someone who doesn’t really know how to use the whip is going to electrify your love life? The event might electrify all right, but not in the way you might hope.

Of course there’s money to be made off of BDSM given Fifty Shades. Why do you think there’s been such an explosion of authors suddenly writing in the genre, something they’ve never done before?

The premise is based under the concept people can physically and mentally make changes in 21 days, thereby would attempting to add BDSM to a straight laced life almost hold true? I fully admit I’ve barely had the opportunity to explore the entertainment company who is producing this, but I am familiar with their other shows seen on various cable channels. From what I’ve learned, they’re very legitimate and have excellent reviews on their current shows.

I am dominantI was also thinking who would allow themselves to go through the entire process via camera, hence the questions above? Then I burst into laughter – a hell of a lot of people who crave those precious fifteen minutes of fame.

What were they asking of me in the email? It was two-fold. First – if I could suggest any couples who might want to be a part of the show. Two, if I’d consider being a coach to the couple selected. As you can imagine, I am very curious how they got my name and that was one of the first questions I asked. If they are specifically interested in me, I’ve very honored. As much as I have to admit I smiled, the daunting concept took over almost immediately. I’m like anyone else who would love to “make it” in writing, entertainment etc., however as I mentioned, there’s a lot to think about. I did find out that they surfed and found a blog link for BDSM and came to Cass’ blog. We’ve had no further conversations yet, but I did mention I was interested. I’m guessing coaching means guiding the couple through certain kinky discussions and exchanges, teaching them various terms and helping them learn about themselves, accepting they hunger for more.

If the couple selected is very open already, able to talk about more than the average vanilla couple, then maybe… How many are out there willing to go on a reality show? In talking with JP about this, he first said wow and being the man he is, started to ask questions. How did they find me? How much would the show entail as in show? How would this work? Would they shoot in New York? I laughed and reminded him I hadn’t really had a single conversation yet.

The entertainment company of course wants this to be a success in ratings and they used the term ‘spicy’. Being a cable show, I don’t really think they’re going to be doing any real nudity. As another friend reminded me, there’s so much more to BDSM than nudity. Well, of course there is, but how to you honestly teach the concept in 21 days from start to finish? This is just a single show out of a series, so I’m certain there will be various ways of spicing up your love life. I can’t imagine any quite as potentially complicated?

Or is this the truth? Do you think that merely opening up on both sides, talking about feelings and desires, no matter how kinky, can spice up your sex life? Certainly for a little while, but I believe the producers of the show are hoping a lifestyle change will occur and remain. Then there are those ratings they long for. Crafting education would certainly BDSM CLUB 2prove interesting. If done in a manner that allows the public to understand the important aspects, while providing entertainment, this could bode well for the BDSM community.

However, if dungeons and playrooms were the only thing shot, the imagery would last far longer than the raw emotions of the couple participating. I must admit, I’m curious to find out more. Think about the concept. Would you watch the show to see how the couple handled conversations, being completely open, perhaps fearful of being seen as weird? Could you follow them into a playroom or kink club to see their reactions? Would you enjoy seeing their raw emotions, methods being taught, perhaps implements being used? When do you think the show could go too far?

You know how much I value the lifestyle, the journey that brings light and joy into my life. Do you think this could work? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Kisses and spanks…

Cassandre

About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
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2 Responses to Reality Shows and BDSM…Do They Mix?

  1. rjkealba@yahoo.com says:

    Hello! I’m a bit surprised that TV would want to take in this topic. But as you said, with the media and financial success of Fifty Shades, they’d be crazy not to make money off it.

    I don’t like reality shows too much either, all the more if it’s made into a competition of any kind and people take money for getting into higher or tougher situations. That would definitely mangle any sense of reality. $5,000 to stick your hands in an aquarium filled with scorpions or some such? Nope, definitely not if I’m in my right mind.

    It’s in that light that I’m viewing the show you’re asked to mentor. Are the participants doing it for money or other reward? Will they get more if they get into a situation that is more challenging or makes them face a fear? They’d then risk more and I wouldn’t think they’d be electrified by the experience. Or that it would be mutually satisfying to the couple.

    21 days isn’t much time for giving them a true lifestyle change, I think. Which is why I do like the idea of a mentor to help them make wise decisions based on knowledge and skill. I for one loved Fifty Shades (I’d always been fascinated with BDSM since I was a teen. Strange?) until I read more into the lifestyle and realized what an awful Dom Christian Grey was and how paltry his “training” if it could be called that at all. Truly one woman’s fantasy romance.

    But if your advice could make people realize that BDSM isn’t a new toy to play with, make them limit their scope of experimentation to what they can study and perfect, and make them realize that true BDSM is never forced or a ‘toy’ of sorts, and can be dangerous if trifled with, then please give your sound advice to this show. This is what happened in my country after the movie was released: http://trendingnow.altervista.org/highschool-student-died-re-enacting-fifty-shades-grey/ and if there was proper information rather than just the movie, I hope this doesn’t happen again. They’re minors, btw, and the girl was 14.

    Husband and I are exploring BDSM but at the moment just in the bedroom and at our own pace. I found your advice very helpful when learning when to go or what to do next. I say you’d be a fantastic mentor if you do decide.

    From R. Alba

    >

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    • Thank you for the kind words. I would only do something like this if I could indeed mentor in a way that allowed the reality around sharing BDSM or D/s in a truthful manner. BDSM is not about the bedroom, nor it is learned in 21 days, but the journey can begin. We’ll see what this might bring.

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