Your behavior has been deplorable. I’m very disappointed in you. When I get home, I want you undressed, standing in the corner with your nose pressed to the wall, and several spanking implements on the table. Do you understand me?
Yes sir. I understand.
I hope you do. You’re going to learn not to disobey me.
Disobey. I certainly know that word very well. Do the words above give you titillation or a feeling of terror mixed in your stomach? In talking with couples, there are times a message or a phone conversation, even texting something to this affect is done on a regular basis. I can’t even fathom receiving a text like this as work. I can only imagine how I’d feel, the anticipation making me look at my watch no doubt every fifteen minutes or so. For many Doms, this is a method of punishment used in conjunction with a spanking or caning. For the majority of submissives, they certainly hate more than anything even the concept of disappointing their Doms. The few times I have both surprised as well as disheartened JP, I can remember the look in his eyes more than anything. Even the tone of his voice changed, his texting clipped.
At that very moment I wanted nothing more than to beg him for a spanking, but we weren’t physically together. While a couple of times he held his tongue, choosing to push the incident aside, I was mortified at the entire situation. I was the one who couldn’t let the situation go. I remember the first time this happened, I was oddly nervous and on edge for days. He finally told me he hadn’t forgotten, merely placed the incident in a box until we could appropriately deal with what had occurred.
Anticipation is certainly a killer. Would it have been better to get the punishment over with right away, or harbor the memories of what I’d done? How about on his side? Do you think he should’ve been able to deal with the situation immediately after the occurrence or calm down, think about the best method to discipline me? Certainly no Dom should spank when he’s angry. I’ve seen his eyes flash in anger maybe twice, but he’s never attempted to administer punishment during that time. As a matter of fact, he is very controlled in everything he does, making certain all the ‘T’s’ as crossed so to speak. He’s told me many times being able to spank me for an infraction is healing. I can tell on his face how much control and peace he’s regained.
Is there a perfect time for a spanking? I was looking at my WordPress site and I’m able to see all the key words people are looking for. One of the phrases that caught my eye was “before bed time spanking”. I had to smile. I’ve often talked about if there’s a better or more appropriate time for a spanking. Every couple is different in their wants and needs. I think women respond very differently to how and when they’re spanked. From the time of day to whether they’ve had a stressful week at work or are relaxed from just getting out of bed, the time of day can dramatically alter a woman’s moods.
I’ve read about couples who have extremely strict practices and try never to waver. One Dom I spoke with spanks his submissive every morning just after she gets out of the shower. I immediately asked, every day? He laughed and reminded me that there are just as many levels of a spanking as there are implements. In other words, the morning spankings were harsh. His method was a daily maintenance spanking first time to remind his sub who had the power of control. He told me since they’d switched to the regime he’d only given her one punishment spanking in almost a year.
I thought about my personality and what I’d come to realize as my needs and could see this method of discipline working, setting the tone for the day. He also let me know that his submissive was in a sense more vulnerable just after a shower. Her head space was just right for a spanking. I could envision him taking her hand the moment she dried off, leading her into the kitchen, pulling her over his knee and…
Whew, I’m tingling all over. I have to wonder, would I dream about this at night, worry about every morning or look forward to the very intense connection? Like anything, maintenance spankings I would no doubt get used to, craving more, but what I’ve only realized recently is that I’m longing for his control. When you have the deep tethering, you, such as what we’ve had from week one, you honestly need the interaction like breathing.
Spankings are merely a small portion of what any D/s couples might share, but for some extremely important. The power exchange is vital for keeping the two sides of the relationship distinct. What I honestly believe is the act in the morning would place my psyche in the right mind set. When JP and I thought about how to alter my rather aggressive personality, I’d read that rituals would help. I admit, not living together made this very difficult.
For other couples, the best time is at night. Yes, a spanking can be a tension reliever, but do you really want to come home, crack open a bottle of wine then receive a spanking before you can take a sip? I realize that wouldn’t be my choice per say. With JP, there have been those times he’s poured me a glass of wine and allowed me to unwind before giving me a certain expression. The look alone was enough. I knew exactly what was coming next. We’ve been in the kitchen and he’s merely told me to lean over the counter. Every sound was amplified as he unfastened his belt, slowly removing the leather strap from the loops.
His touch alone always gives me shivers and just before a spanking, I absolutely quake. He speaks very softly when he tells me to lift my skirt or dress. He usually wrangles with the panties. After a couple taps with his hand, he’ll strike hard. The moments when I’m seeing both of our reflections in the window are most compelling. Would that become a routine for us? I honestly can’t say that either one of us received the best use of his discipline during that moment. For me, the few minutes were much more intimate than about punishment.
I think that’s what some people don’t understand. Even though discipline is used in certain relationships, the intimacy captured, the closeness shared is so incredible. No wonder more couples are turning to at least trying the lifestyle.
There are also some couples who no matter where they are, if the submissive misbehaves, much like a child, a spanking will occur. I’ve already written about parties, family gatherings and dinners out where the Dom will find a place to dole out punishment. There are quite a few issues with this method of course, but from the D/s couples I’ve talked to who practice this method, they wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’m in the process of uploading various books to the Booktrope site and a few of them are my very popular submitting to a spanking. Between the books and the blogs, I can tell how many people truly believe they need a hard spanking. Then again, how often have I said how I excel by having a routine spanking? Is there a perfect time for me? John Patrick and I have often had the conversation about this very subject. Face to face people may show surprise or even horror on their faces, but the truth is the fascination for the practice is continuing to increase.
I was asked recently how I could or would consider living in a situation where I could be required to obey a set of rules. I laughed because we’re all following rules anyway and there are distinct consequences when we don’t.
After being very open about the lifestyle, I’ve come to realize the curiosity has moved to genuine interest, additional questions. Hmm… I wonder if the lifestyle is catching on? What do you think?
Kisses and spanks…