I had to laugh yesterday because I hadn’t paid any attention to my blog. Then mid afternoon I looked and went ‘holy shit!’ because the views of my blog had doubled. Of course on the various blog sites you can see what people are looking at. The post from late Friday is perhaps the most widely viewed post pretty much ever. Why? Well, the word ‘spanking’ was used and that usually brings scores of people to the blog site. Other than that? I think everyone really does want to know if there’s a perfect time to spank and when that might be. I can tell you a time that is perhaps the most difficult couples might have to face – when you’re either vacationing or visiting with family and friends.
I dare say few couples who are in a D/s or DD (Domination/submission or Domestic Discipline) relationship actually confide in their family and friends. I highly doubt discussions are held in which the conversation centers around routine maintenance or punishment spankings. I might be wrong, but… In talking with several couples, I realized that they generally keep this aspect of their lives very private. Granted, I can understand to a point, but what a shame they can’t be proud enough to come out and let everyone know their relationship has moved in another direction.
For so many couples, the concept of a power exchange or power definition strengthened a once failing marriage or living arrangement. Whether you’re in a traditional m/f relationship, m/m or f/f, every couple faces issues. Every couple argues. Some arguments get out of hand, leaving nothing but bitterness in the wake. The divorce rate is sky high, however I’ve seen some reports where those involved in truly what is called an old-fashioned relationship, divorces are plummeting. Now, I’m not suggesting you turn to your spouse and go, ‘honey, you need a hard spanking’. Then again, that’s probably the truth.
We mouth off and show our worst behavior to those we know won’t fight back. There isn’t a couple where the husband or wife didn’t know exactly how to push his or her buttons. Some days, don’t you push just for the sheer hell of it because you’re annoyed, exhausted or just generally pissed off? Oh I know I have. Women are very good at targeting men exactly where the nagging will dig in. Ladies, haven’t you figured out that men, while often subtle, can be the masters of getting under your skin? You bet.
Stress tends to bring out the worst behavior in all of us. I don’t care if you’ve had a bad day at work, are worried about finances, or simply need a vacation – stress exacerbates our demons. Have you ever noticed that being around various family members and even some friends can heighten any difficult situation almost to the boiling point? Think about the last holiday in which you and your significant other were in a sense ‘required’ to visit the in-laws, spending time in often cramped quarters with either kids, dogs or other family members. You’re supposed to be happy at Christmas. Aren’t you?
For a lot of us, these are the most stressful times in the world. The right gift. Getting everything ready. Facing people you really can’t stand. Crying kids. You get the picture. What often happens? You begin to bicker with your partner. Everything is a nagging reminder of the event or time taken away from what you really prefer to do. Your emotions run high, you snip and snark constantly, and by the time the actual event or family gathering occurs, you’re ready for a divorce. Sound familiar?
For those who practice forms of discipline, a spanking in these situations would help tremendously. What if the practicality of administering a MUCH needed spanking is simply something you can’t overcome? What then? Or, what if finding the time alone or a place where you can get away, keep your secret, is difficult? What do you do? There is an argument (no pun intended) that you should use this as an opportunity to be up front with the in-laws or your best friends and tell them how your relationship has changed. Are you chuckling yet? I know what you’re thinking, ‘telling my best buddy or my mom I spank my wife would be akin to saying I’m a criminal’. Men don’t ‘beat’ their wives, right?
See, my guess is if you’re of the age I am – yeah so mid forties to mid fifties or older, your parents had a bit of a more traditional marriage than what we see today. Today, couples are completely equal in responsibilities, money earned, time spent with the kids, etc. In the fifties, sixties, and seventies, this wasn’t the case. Men were traditionally the breadwinners. Women, while some certainly worked outside the house, they were primarily responsible for the household and the kids. I bring this up why? Because if you are of the age I am, you might very well tell your parents spankings are used to maintain household sanity and my guess is a good portion wouldn’t even respond. Why? Because my guess is the practice was used widely in those days. Just my guess because of talking with so many couples, including older couples.
John Patrick and I have had this very conversation and he thought about the concept with his parents. They were very traditional in the sense of dad made the money, mom kept the house. He smiled after a few minutes and really didn’t believe his very assertive mother would have stood for accepting punishment for breaking the rules – then again he pondered. Had his mother received spankings for breaking the rules? While his mother is no longer alive, I encouraged him to ask his dad. You bet he had ‘that’ look on his face. No way he was going to ask his father or admit he believed spankings were good for keeping peace in the household. Now, I know for certain this didn’t happen ever with my mom and dad, but I bet there are thousands of households where this did occur. Think about your parents. Do you have the courage to ask them this very question, let alone admit you’re either practicing or considering the lifestyle? Tough one, right?
Imagine you and your spouse being on a trip to the in-laws house for a week. Tensions mount. Nerves are on edge. The conversations become more aggressive, nasty words said. You both snip at everything and arguments ensue over the littlest things. What should you do? I think a hard spanking might come to mind, but how do you get away with administering discipline without bringing attention to your new life together? You have to find time away, one way or the other. That’s just my opinion. I’ve spoken with couples and they talk about the fact a spanking is needed. Both agree. How can you make this happen?
You devise a plan. At some point, hopefully, the parents will leave the house to go shopping. Then both of you can take the time to go into your bedroom, close the door, pull her over your lap and give both of you the time to reconnect, re-establish the chain of command. Yes, this can be daunting, but you know what has to be done. If your parents don’t leave, what can you do? You go to a park, find a secluded spot and pull the hairbrush out of the glove compartment, bring one with you in a fanny pack or simply use the belt he’s wearing. In other words, there are many ways of finding the time. You just have to make the time. Granted, if you’re on a cruise? Well, a bit more difficult but not insurmountable. Noise is a factor, so perhaps she’ll need to bite her tongue or even be gagged. Yes, sometimes this is necessary. Is your mind reeling with thoughts?
For couples who find spankings a wonderful and necessary part of the deep connection, the cycle really can’t be broken for long. There always is a way to take care of needs in the relationship. You might have to think creatively, but it can be done. What do you think? The next time you visit the parents, something you’ll consider?
Kisses and hard spanks…