Honor. Obey. These are two tiny words that mean so very much. When you throw in trust, patience, and submission, another picture might be formed in your mind’s eye. For couples who enter into marriage, there’s a pledge toward one another, a gift of body, heart and soul. This is generally signified by the exchange of rings and both are supposed to be together for the rest of their lives, sharing in the joys and sorrows every day can bring. Sadly, we know how this often ends.
For a submissive and Dom, or slave and Master, the bond is even deeper. The pledge or promise to each other goes to a heightened level. I’ve talked with many D/s and M/s couples, some who had a traditional vanilla marriage before, and they almost always comment emphatically how much stronger their relationship is now. I know in my experience with John Patrick, the bond has been interwoven to the point we read each other’s thoughts from miles away. We know exactly what the other feels, fear or sadness, happiness or desire. It’s uncanny in truth and we often talk about our deep bond and the ragged emotions often.
The word ‘obey’ was removed from marriage vows years ago. I’m not even certain younger couples knew this was included for centuries. We are simply all very equal now – too equal in my opinion. I realize the connotations are difficult for some to wrap their minds around. How can one obey another? This is of course vital in aspects of D/s. Obedience is clearly set out by rules or protocols, but the need, the burning desire within, means something else entirely. Submissives long to obey their Dom or Master. They aren’t complete without expressing and giving themselves in this manner. This is such an honor and for me, there is nothing more beautiful and enriching than accepting this realization. This doesn’t come without fears, concerns about if and how. This also shouldn’t be taken lightly. Whether the submissive is collared or not, the pledge doesn’t change.
In thinking about your significant other, what comes to mind now versus the day you knew he or she was the one? Does your heart still flutter when you think about your commitment, whether by marriage, engagement or simply deciding to live together? Has the golden period of time tarnished or increased with each passing year? I’ve thought a lot about the honor of being involved with JP during these incredible months. When I realized how much I trusted him, adored everything about the man both inside and out, I was filled with joy about the future. As with any relationship, there are difficult times and I’m not suggesting that any coupling is perfect. There isn’t a possible way, but for me, I never knew the deep love I’ve experienced with him. Why? Because I gave him all of me. I allowed him inside the very dark places, opening up where I had never before. We won’t be able to have a full time relationship. In fact, sadly we may only be able to remain friends and little else, but the intensity, the raw emotions we both experience remain. Some submissives are born into the desire to serve and please a Dom. Some come into this later in life, such as what happened with myself. What I know about me is that I will never feel complete as a woman without having this kind of relationship. It’s very personal and different for every woman, or man serving in this capacity. What I can tell you is that the highs and lows truly change your life.
I’ve never witnessed a collaring ceremony and would love to. What is this? It’s very similar to a marriage ceremony in which the Dom gives his submissive not only a piece of jewelry in the form of a necklace with either a symbol or a lock, he also gives her his pledge of caring for her and all of her needs. He promises to train, nurture, respect, love and guide her through their journey in D/s. The submissive pledges her body, heart and soul to her Dom, offering all of her trust and honor, as well as her full obedience. There are other ceremonies, such as the White Rose, which further deepens their commitment. For many D/s couples, this is simply a very personal and intimate moment shared between them. For others, they bring together their friends and family, allowing them to share in their joy.
I wrote a promise to JP, a pledge of my love and honor and I thought you might like to read.
I will be truthful at all times with my Sir as well as with myself
I will strive every day to be a better and more loving person
I will honor my Sir in every act and every word, realizing the reflection of our life I share
I will understand I will falter in my behavior and learn to forgive my misguided ways
I will never fault my Sir for punishment given
I will ask for what I want, knowing I may not be allowed
I will learn how to please him in my continual journey into devotion
I will willingly take any punishment Sir requires without complaining, allowing my inner self to learn
I will educate myself every day with regard to our journey in order to completely embrace the lifestyle and my place
I will realize my Sir will falter in his methodology and help him understand more about my inner being and our combined desires
I will never deny him sex for any reason, as the shared intimacy is a special connection and one that must grow stronger
I will never disrespect my Sir in public
I will strive to become more spiritual in my thoughts and needs about our lifestyle
I will allow him control in every aspect of my life, knowing he only wants the very best for me
I will promise to love and cherish his needs above my own
I will honor his requests and relish as my own
I will forever give him reasons to want more
The words written were done so with tears of joy. I’ll never forget the first time JP read this. He was speechless, honored I feel so deeply about him in this manner. If you think about the words, the meaning behind them, they are rich with the understanding he is my everything and his happiness is a duty I regard highly. I shiver every time I read the promise I wrote in barely a few minutes. I remember the day I sat back, drained because I knew how deeply my heart had fallen for such an amazing man. I don’t think this occurs often in our lives, such a deep-seeded need, but if and when you find something so incredible, I hope you allow yourself to grasp onto, hold and remember always how special the journey can be.
For JP and I? Life has taken another turn and a new chapter begins, but no matter where he and I are in life, or the partners we’re with, our bond will never die. In honor to him, I offer my promise, one not to be taken lightly.
Kisses and spanks…