Submitting to a Spanking…Tension Release Spankings and Corner Time

We all need time to reflect. The world passes us by in the blink of an eye. I had an extremely difficult and tiring day yesterday and I admit, by the end of the night I couldn’t remember the hours in any succinct fashion. Days turn into weeks, which turn into months then years. While this might have some to do with the fact I’m getting older, I truly think humans try and pack far too much in a day. That can often result in exhaustion turning to horrific moods. By the time I drove down I-95 on the Friday afternoon justSubmitting over the kitchen table before a holiday while visiting my communities I manage, I was already in a foul mood. Add leaving at five o’ clock, being forced to take a secondary road (which takes up to twenty minutes longer) merely to avoid the vacationers who have zero idea how to drive, well you can see where my head space was when I returned home nearly two hours after I left the office.

Tensions mount quite often during vacations, special occasions, family time and usually when you’re supposed to be having fun. Couples bicker to the point they slam doors and refuse to talk to each other. We’ve all been there. I’ve mentioned maintenance spankings before. This is a spanking given on a regular basis, one that’s already been planned out. Perhaps your husband or Dom has determined that every Monday, Wednesday and Friday just after work, spankings will be administered. Of course punishment spankings occur as needed. Some couples believe highly in the practice. Others find this just another tedious chore. This method of discipline is also used for maintaining the hierarchy within the relationship. These are all very good reasons and highly recommended.

What I know about my personality is that when I’m very tense, anger increases and I look at everyone else and all they’re doing as ridiculous. I’ve often called people – to myself generally – stupid. Everything annoys me from sight, sounds, etc. I become mouthy, borderline a bitch, and as the day goes on, every aspect of my behavior is heightened. I see this all the time in other people as well. You’ve seen the tantrums in stores, parking lots, in your work place or on the road (good ole road rage) far too often. While we often laugh, making fun of how ridiculous they look, time to take a step back and think about your last childish act. What is there to do? In talking with John Patrick in the early days, he noted this aspect of my personality fairly quickly.

We discussed the reasons I was acting out, the underlying tension, and he gathered very early on I’d truly benefit from regular spankings – tension releasers.

There are other forms of punishment or guidance tools to help as well. Quiet or reflection time is vital for everyone. We don’t have enough time to ourselves, to read a book or sit with a glass of wine outside without interference. From phones to email, radios to lawnmowers, needy kids and animals, spouses who require attention, families and work… Well, the list could go on the rest of this blog. We don’t give to ourselves the allotted time to heal, regroup or simply reconnect with the person we are inside. This is very important within DD or D/s relationships. If you can’t open up to yourself, you can’t allow your Dom your belt siror your submissive to see the inner man or woman. You might be scratching your head and saying – ‘how does this connect?’. Think about it. When you’re stressed and grabbing a third glass of wine as you’re telling a story, cussing about the idiot driver you encountered on your way home, are you thinking anything personal or good for that matter? No. You’re simply fuming to the point you can’t think clearly. No words or thoughts other than mutilation and dismemberment will enter your mind. There isn’t a way to push aside the nasty, negativity. Are you laughing as you’re thinking about your last drive home from work?

By the point you truly are on your third glass of wine, your husband or Dom on his third beer, you’re both prattling on about idiots from every location in the world. Then the conversation turns a bit inward, where you remind him in a not so gentle manner, that he forgot AGAIN to turn on the dishwasher and why didn’t he pick up the dog food like you texted him FIVE TIMES? Well, you can see where this is going. The screaming battle will probably lead to no dinner, no down time and one of you sleeping in the other room. Not so productive in my worlds. Both of you are going to try and go to sleep, angry and confused, and by morning, the world looks bleak. There’s certainly no time in here to heal or unwind from the difficult week.

What if the situation were entirely different? What if you came home, the anger is the same, but instead of reaching for a glass of wine you ask your husband or Dom for a spanking to relieve tension. Sound crazy or off kilter? Why? Think about the scenario for just a minute. You come in and drop your purse and briefcase, take off your shoes and find him in the kitchen or living room. He’ll ask how your day was and you tell him you’re in a wretched mood and feel out of sorts.

No matter what you might think, your significant other knows you better than you might realize. He’ll no doubt beckon you toward him. Perhaps he’ll give you a sweet kiss as he’s rubbing your arms or your back. Then he’ll speak softly to you, asking a few questions. By this point you’re able to let go of some of the tension and gain the ability to ask for a spanking. The entire act is very therapeutic. If you haven’t tried this, you might be surprised how anxious you feel when you ask for this the first time. It’s like you’re admitting you’re a bad kid and need punishment, but the truth is, you’re asking to place your needs in his hands. You’re asking him to understand you’re very emotional, raw and unsure of yourself, and you need his help in re-centering to enable you to focus on the important aspects of life. This is very good for both of you. Don’t you think by giving you a spanking he’ll have his tension relieved?

John Patrick always told me my big brain was me biggest attribute and my worst enemy. I over think everything and he’s right. The first time he said this to me I argued with him. He gave me that look and commented that I needed a spanking to calm down. In truth, he was very right. During the spanking, I let go of everything I’d been holding in, the pent up angst from a horrible period of time and I can’t tell you how much better I felt. He held me in his arms afterward and said I needed some space to think, regroup and become reflective about my needs in order to convey them to him. Another score for the big man. I never simply allow myself to contemplate my needs. I’m too focused on everything I after the spankhave to do.

So he sent me to the corner to stand for a little while. I looked at him strangely and he nodded. Being send to the corner like a child? I knew couples did this and I’ve written blogs about it before, but the concept of sticking your nose against a wall? Do you know why this is effective? You can’t see anything in front of you. Your mind can’t grasp onto a television set or a flower arrangement or anything else but a blank space. You mind is forced to shut down, after a few minutes turning internal. You naturally begin to think about what just occurred, the words he told you and the reasons you were angry – which suddenly seems ridiculous. Then you let the experience go.

JP told me after a spanking, the incident would be forgotten – never to be mentioned again. You have to do this for yourself. You have to let go. The re-focusing is pretty amazing. What do you think?

Kisses and spanks…


About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
This entry was posted in Domestic Discipline, Domination and submission, Spanking and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Submitting to a Spanking…Tension Release Spankings and Corner Time

  1. laurellasky says:

    I wish a spanking would help me. Unfortunately I am on oxygen and steroids, which make it hard to lose wt. I need to get a portable O2 for when I go out. They cost between $2100 and $3000 which is pretty expensive. I’ll figure it out . Love Laurel


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