Living and Writing on an Alternative Lifestyle…Difficult?

Perhaps I’m a bit on my soapbox today. This week has been interesting to say the least. For those who know me from my blogs or interactions on Facebook, you know I hold nothing back. I don’t mind sharing the good, bad and the ugly of being an author or details about my personal life. I have nothing to be embarrassed about as we all face difficulties through our years on this earth. I pull no punches, whether with my writing or those around me. Often I get myself into trouble simply by my facial expressions. Okay, I accept this ‘trait’ about myself and have embraced that I’m a bit different finally after decades. Lone SurvivorYep, dating myself. That’s okay. With age comes wisdom, right? Hmmm…

What I continue to have trouble grappling my mind around are those who simply don’t allow others to enjoy their life. In writing stories, I’m able to give a rather vivid image of another world. Whether we’re talking the beaches of St. Martin (an utterly incredible place) or about those sharing in a D/s (Domination and submission) lifestyle, I so enjoy bringing you a taste of something you might never experience. Then there are those who condemn even the very words printed on a page. Why? Because we fear what we don’t understand.

Yes, this I normal. I have no idea about the life of those living in South Africa, the trials and tribulations they’re required to face every single day. I don’t and can’t understand the strife downtrodden and homeless people are forced to endure. I can’t begin to comprehend bloody wars those face in foreign countries. I’ve lived a fairly normal and happy life in terms of these aspects above – but I can appreciate and hopefully learn from their woes. I also try and learn from mistakes other make as well as my own. I’ve been so lucky to be able to pen stories depicting alternative lifestyles. I do so with joy in my heart and at least some education as to their every day tasks. I can never learn every nuance, but I appreciate and respect. Respect. This is a word that seems foreign to so many.

Authors live and breathe their stories. They worry over what some might consider insignificant details including cultures in distant lands. If we don’t research what we’re
trying to write about, trust me, we’ll be called to the carpet. I was talking with one of my fellow authors at Booktrope on my radio show the other day. William Prystauk is not only an extremely intelligent and amazing author, he’s a fascinating man. He was very SE Rise Simmeringopen about the fact he’s experienced and enjoys aspects of the BDSM lifestyle and has since he was very young. He knew at the age of six he was a bit ‘different’. I appreciate his candor and applaud the fact he doesn’t hide behind a mask we all seem to be required to given our respective careers.

Blood Letting is the kind of book many readers might shy away from. Why? The graphic nature of the crimes involved within the story, as well as the depictions of a true BDSM lifestyle are unsettling. Yet they are very real. He takes his research seriously, having spent time talking with members of law enforcement as well as those within the BDSM community. He may share in various aspects of BDSM, but he doesn’t consider himself an expert. He’s a professional writing a story he spent decades bringing to his readers. His work is paying off. This book is selling, but he’s had his share of naysayers as I have.

Dale Rierson uses his experience as a firefighter to bring gritty stories to his works. Simmering is moving up the charts, as it should. Amazing story. Scarlet Darkwood has a true understanding of the mentally ill. Her stories involve an insane asylum decades ago and the stories are incredible, but not necessarily for the feint of heart. Christian Jensen, my co-author for several brutal stories, might be seen as demented, given his graphic horror stories. However, I know the man inside. He’s amazing in his gifts and I’m so lucky to call him a friend. Margie Church writes poignant m/f as well as m/m piecesperf5.500x8.500.indd and is critically acclaimed. I’ve learned so much from her as a woman as well as her because of her writing ability. I respect and value her words. Sadly, her new cover isn’t finished yet or I’d share.  Sharita Lira and I have shared thoughts about m/m stories for years and I’m so happy she’s a part of Booktrope. She’s so talented. These are a few of the hundreds of authors I’m so happy to have learned from during my writing career.

I’ve had critiques from many who don’t understand why I write what I do. Penning stories about Domestic Discipline and Domination and submission fascinates me. The people who live these lifestyles every day are your next door neighbor or the PTA mom down the street. They pay bills and worry about the overcrowded school their kids are going to next year. They experience undying love and death, the loss of a job and arguments. They long for a vacation to the islands, when they can barely afford food. In other words, they are just like everyone else. They also hope for a better future.

We either read every day or watch a news program about strife in other countries. We might learn from the broadcast, but there is no way we can understand given we aren’t required to life in horrific conditions. In America, we’re very lucky – VERY lucky. We’re able to choose, for the most part, who we are and what we want to do in life. We’re able to go to the movies, take our kids to the park and feel relatively safe. We enjoy pizza and beer with our buddies on football Sunday and go out with the girls to a club, drinking margaritas as we dance away the night. Yes, we are lucky in so many ways.

The very moment I was accepted by a publisher, bringing my first sexy piece to the public, I was overjoyed and I realized I’d receive criticism. As a woman working in two professions, I’ve come to expect those who refuse to listen to anything I’m saying. However, I will always fight for and believe in the system of equality, no matter what you do behind closed doors. Writing in so many genres is an utter joy for me. I’m so happy when a Dom or a girl who really wants to tell her husband she needs a spanking, takes the The girl in style 30 on an armchairtime to tell me that my blog or story helped him or her gain courage to voice their needs. I write because I have to, the words burn within me and have since I was five – yes, five years old. I started writing books at twelve, having written sixteen by the time I was fourteen.

I can’t story thinking about stories in the middle of the night, sharing and providing an insight to amazing locations, incredible lives.

I’ve learned so much over the years talking to couples in same sex relationships, Doms and their submissives, members of law enforcement, firefighters and marines. These are merely a few of those who’ve opened up their hearts, souls and lives to talk with me. I’m forever grateful and I think that by learning about who they are as well as their hopes and fears, I’ve become a much better author. I’m very open minded and value others who are as well. Alternative lifestyles aren’t for everyone, whether in books or in real life. I get that. I don’t condemn readers who chastise my m/m pieces because they really want to read them, but can’t accept gay marriage. That’s fine. I never wanted to have human children. I have furry kids who I adore and shower affection on. Does that make me abnormal? Well…

I’m so grateful to be a part of a community in which I can allow my imagination to flow freely. Freedom of speech means being able to do so in writing as well and hopefully, I BL Morticia Under the Gunprovide a glimpse of a fantasy. Must like Fifty Shades or any Tom Clancy book, we’re all looking for escapism. I give thanks every day for the world around me and the fact I can make my own choices. Just a reminder, many are unable to. My advice, pick up a book and enjoy the worlds invented by creative minds. Don’t overthink.

Kisses and spanks…


About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
This entry was posted in BDSM, Booktrope, creatures of the night, Domestic Discipline, EDGE, Entice, Gay Erotic, horror, serial killer, Spanking, Suspense, thriller and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Living and Writing on an Alternative Lifestyle…Difficult?

  1. Jonah says:

    Reblogged this on Jonah Bergan.


  2. laurellasky says:

    Terrific post. You are awesome! Love and hugs!


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