Good question. What do you believe?
As many of you know, I write quite a lot about spanking, including pieces regarding Domestic Discipline and D/s (Domination and submission). I’ve been highly criticized lately by those who seem to forget that domestic discipline is based in Christianity or CDD (Christian Domestic Discipline). When I started researching the concept, I honestly was not aware that the practice had indeed been going on in households for centuries, not just decades. Although the exercise isn’t widely used in places like the United States, the popularity is growing. For any naysayers who scoff that this is Christian based. Here’s a snippet from the website www.christiandomesticdiscipline.com
“The Causation for Disciplining Your Wife
Men and women are different. But we often just gloss over what those most crucial differences are. Yes, men and women are different physically, and also men and women think differently. But what we often fail to recognize is than men and women sin differently. Men have sin struggles that are typical of men and almost alien to women. Likewise, women struggle with sins that men may not even recognize as being sin issues. Here’s a bare-bones sketch of the dynamics:
- Women by their peculiar sin nature resist earthly authority and trust.
- Women will seek earthly security at the expense of emotional and/or spiritual security.
Let’s look at the first one a bit. This is a classic Genesis 3 classification. Women seek to usurp their husbands’ authority by the nature of the Fall. Due to the same Fall, men seek to allow this to happen. The root of this is trust, or rather a lack of it. Indeed, this very nature in women is the single least common denominator in the “equal rights movement”, i.e. Feminism. Were women born naturally with the inclination to trust, Feminism would not exist. Understand that I’m not speaking about trusting in the Lord, for this is something that only the Holy Spirit can bring about, in either man or woman. Rather, that any woman, regenerate or otherwise, will struggle with trusting any earthly authority, be it ecclesiastical, familial or other authority.”
Fascinating, don’t you think? The site goes on speaking to the application process, how to and what implements to use, how often and the basic positions. Here’s a sentence that honestly made me chuckle.
“First, do not attempt to discipline your wife without first going to the Lord in prayer. No man alone is wise enough, and we must seek the Lord when faced with discipline issues.”
I’m not certain if the Christian family of today sees the concept of husband and wife the same way, but I can tell you that I’ve spoken to many couples and they believe in the lifestyle whole-heartedly. Why? Because their marriage was failing, as so many do in our given day and time. Life as a couple doesn’t seem to be like it used to be. I’m no expert in relationships, but with divorce rates skyrocketing over the last two decades, something is going seriously wrong in relationships. Several men and women have opened up about their reasons for choosing the DD lifestyle, including the successes and failures. For the majority, they didn’t come to the acceptance or decision easily. They talked, cried together, tried various other methods to save their marriage then embraced the fact they were headed for divorce without a significant change. For so many couples who made the modification, the number one comment they all made to me was how much stronger their relationships became. They laughed more and the angry words and nasty battles were almost non-existent. When differences came up, they learned the skills to talk through the issue or the HOH (Head of Household) took matters into his own hands. Discipline is a huge part of the lifestyle. This doesn’t just include spankings as a form of punishment. Of course there are other methods, but what the site calls “lashings” are an important facet.
“A sound lashing is five to ten strokes with your hand, or three to five strokes with a strap; some wives need more. To avoid bruising do not strike the same area in repetition. Gauge your decision to proceed based on your wife’s readiness to repent.”
Again, fairly interesting words. Repent. Guilt. In talking with happy and unhappy couples, there seems to be a constant thread, they’re both fighting to be the top dog. Whether most men and women want to admit this or not, we all jockey to “win” whether in our professional or personal life. We’ve been trained through our experiences to fight for everything, including love. Having two leaders in any given situation can certainly be a recipe for disaster. Guilt is a part of intense emotions women feel – men too of course. I don’t like disappointing my guy, but it happens. Repenting for disobeying? Right versus wrong? That’s a core portion of our very being. I’ve heard from some women, those believing in total equality in a relationship, who think that women who submit in this fashion are weak.
This couldn’t be further from the truth. The fact is that many powerful women want to give up control and I doubt there’s a single woman who doesn’t crave a happy home. Do you honestly think a lion’s share of women (or men either) prefer a disjointed and negative household in which the majority of the time is spent fighting? One would hope not. Women are generally loving, giving creatures to a fault and while we can be manipulative, if you ask a single girl, she’ll tell you she likes a strong man. This doesn’t just include in the bedroom. Ask yourself this question, what type of hero on television or in books do you gravitate toward? The wimpy guy who never takes control or the rough-rider who dominates the scene? You and I both know the answer. In saying this, do not think men who prefer to be the HOH are abusive in any manner. If they are the relationship needs to end immediately. DD, D/s, BDSM is NOT about abuse. That’s something I can’t say enough or get into the heads of those involved in strictly vanilla relationships. Abuse is sick and destructive. Drop the loser if his control takes you to that level immediately.
However domestic discipline has proven to be successful in many downtrodden situations. Let’s face it kids, relationships really can be difficult. The bottom line to any should be about love, but when life intervenes from sickness to troubles with family and careers, simply finding time to enjoy why you fell in love is tough. There’s no perfect method to fix what might be broken or to keep the verve in a relationship. The practice of domestic discipline works for many who embrace the concept.
Living your life the way you want is a God given right, whether you’re Christian or believe or don’t believe in religion. I’m just giving you something to think about and perhaps a heady discussion in your household.
Kisses and spanks…