I think I touched a nerve yesterday when I wrote about tantrums. We’ve all experienced them or been smack in the middle during the course of our lives. There are times I’ve wanted to drag the children away from a table or from the middle of a store and turn them over my knee. Of course I would have been arrested for assault, but the thought lingers every time I experience this kind of scenario. I’ve also told couples, who are arguing, to shut the hell up at various times and they look at me like I have three heads. I tend to have a difficult time holding back and that’s probably not the best scenario to place myself in, but that’s who I am.
While penning various books, I’ve investigated sites on the Internet and one aspect of domination has a constant thread – public disgrace or humiliation. I’m not certain why there is such a love of watching another being put in their place in extreme methods, but people love to be the fly on the wall, relishing in those being put in their place. You can’t tell me you haven’t snickered when seeing a colleague reprimanded. While corporations have strict guidelines in place for disciplining employees, often emotions get in the way.
There are extreme sites on the great wide web world highlighting methods of humiliation and various Doms/Dommes practice this rather creative art form for punishment of their submissives. You might cringe while you read this, but the occurrence and activity is widely used. I’m not going this deep in the concept, however. For the majority of us, there are times we want to put our significant other in their place without going to extraordinary measures. Many heads of households can give a single look – the one that says without question that if the behavior continues, there will be consequences. Given I’ve talked to so many couples embroiled in either domestic discipline or a D/s relationship, I know there is a look, a facial tick or a single word that is used as a stopping point. Do not cross this line or else.
I have to wonder whether we shouldn’t all have this moment of actuality in our lives. All of us have to follow rules in every aspect of our day-to-day tasks. Our employers have rules and guidelines you must follow. There are laws in every country and if broken, you may go to prison for a lengthy period of time. Why doesn’t this happen in relationships? Why are we allowed to act out, hurting the one we said we’d love to the end of time? Because we can get away with the ridiculous behavior without a single thing happening, except for a bitter argument or time spent alone.
Ahhh – consequences. I wrote a sexy little piece for Christmas last year titled Twisted Christmas – Family Reunion. In the story, I decided to allow a husband to take control of a difficult situation, spanking his wife in front of the in-laws. For many couples involved in either DD or D/s, moments involving punishment are usually performed in private. For many living one of the alternative lifestyles, the majority of their friends and family have no idea how they life or that punishment is a weekly occurrence. I’ve written about how many couples that practice are chastised in our rather vanilla society. Can you imagine actually spanking your wife (or husband) in front of the in-laws or co-workers? Boy, wouldn’t this set the tone for the evening. But what if…
My spanking blogs seem to resonate more than anything I write. From being disciplined in the middle of a Target parking lot to an event at a neighborhood barbecue, readers flock to these and the little books created around them. Why? This goes back to the realization that we all crave discipline. When you’ve told a lie or perhaps snuck out early from work, does your gut churn with a tiny bit of guilt? Being resolved of the action or forgiven is in our nature, at least for the majority of us. Given we’re taught right from wrong when we’re just toddlers, for most, breaking the rules is out of the question. Still, we push, prod, snark, argue and sometimes pick a fight. In my mind, I think many of us do this just to get a reaction. So, imagine another scenario. You and your hubby planned a festive summer barbecue. You’ve invited all your friends, set the tone, found the right music and have beer and wine flowing, along with the grill hot and ready. Time for relaxation, sharing good times and laughter.
Then the argument you had in the morning explodes in front of everyone. You’re both tense for various reasons and can’t seem to squelch the nasty words issued every minute or so. Finally some of the guests notice, shying away to a corner, hugging their drinks and whispering. What can possibly change the tone of the event? Well, a spanking of course. Now, the husband could politely excuse both of you and go into the far bedroom, closing the door. He could pull out a wooden hairbrush or tug off his belt, dragging you over his lap and giving his spouse a much-needed whipping.
Minutes later you both emerge, calm and everything back in a constrained order. Now imagine the scenario if she refuses to go with you, scoffing at the command? No amount of quiet discussion in the kitchen away from prying eyes seems to reiterate your point or resume the basic lines of authority. What’s a husband to do?
After a few more nasty jabs, he takes matters into his own hands. For many of you, the aspect of spanking your wife in front of anyone should be daunting. There’s perhaps nothing more embarrassing for couples then to highlight your vulnerability. However, the method has been proven to be useful. The scene is set. He takes her hands, looks into her eyes and says quietly that she crossed the line and is going to pay for acting like a child.
Whether he announces to the group his intentions or simply pulls out a chair on the deck, sits down casually and without another words, pulls his wife over his knee. Given the situation, he tugs her skirt up to her waist and uses his hand instead of a harsh implement.
Can you imagine the stunned folks sipping on their frosty beverages? What do you think their reactions would be? Honestly, I think many would pretend embarrassment but would inch closer, savoring every hard strike, every whimper and cry. This is just in our human nature. I can only guess that she didn’t just get on her husband’s nerves. She most likely infuriated more than one person attending the party. Inside, the various men and women might even applaud the punishment.
Does this seem harsh to you or totally out of the norm? Perhaps, but think about the quiet resolve and normalcy returned to the party. Of course she’ll feel humiliated being disgraced in public, but my guess is this will never happen again. Order has been restored. The fun can continue and she’s very well aware she’s to act appropriately, especially in public. I asked JP the question, would he ever spank me in public? I’m curious to find out his answer and I’ll let you know.
Thoughts for a hot summer afternoon. Perhaps you’re attending a party right now, wishing you could pull your wife over your knee for a solid old-fashioned spanking.
Kisses and spanks…