Women Submitting to Men…Bullshit or Something Else?

Yep. I’ve had the concept called bullshit and recently too. The statement around this was that women don’t need to be submissive to men to keep one. At that moment I choked. Really? As in have to? Not in my world of heroines or in my personal relationship either. Of course everyone has an opinion and I value my readers, especially ones who take the time to offer their thoughts. However, I have to disagree. There are several types of relationships in the world. That’s what makes living a joy – at least the majority of the time. I’ve written many a blog regarding theAnother collar differences between a typical Americanized vanilla relationship, in which the couple is completely equal in all things. I’ve compared this to a D/s or DD (Domination/submission and Domestic Discipline) several times as well. Honestly, they are truly different in the concept of who has the reins or the power. In D/s or DD households, people are looking to live and enjoy life with family and friends, pay their bills, take their kids to soccer practice etc. just like any other relationship. Remember too given there are so many sex relationships, you can’t label D/s or DD with a gender either.

So what’s the fuss about women needing to bow down to a man in order to keep them? Let me think about this. First of all, I’m a VERY strong and some say powerful woman. I have men of all types gravitate toward me. It’s not because I’m Barbie perfect or the next great catch, or a millionaire or… It’s simply that I exude an inner strength and refuse to allow any human (notice human not man) to overpower me in my day to day life. However, you know my view on D/s and DD type commitments.

I’d had very amazing relationships with what would be considered powerful men, thoughtful men, idealistic men, emotional men, timid men, unsure men, intellectual men, geeky men, sexy men and… Did I miss any type? I’m sure I did. Were they satisfying? You bet in their own way. Am I writing the million dollar selling book pointing the direct path to the relationship gilded in gold? Well, I wouldn’t be writing this blog if I was or had. Right?

Nothing and no one is perfect, no lifestyle or aspect of what you have and don’t have together. I wish… However, what I can tell u in talking with so many strong and influential women, the ones who long to give up control and submit to a man, is that they are the most powerful of them all. Why? Because they peel away that tightly woven mask, unearthing the truth under the actual bullshit society forces us to believe. You know the crap that’s doled out. You’ve heard, read, seen it in movies and television programs and listened to our not so stellar politicians slap us in the face with the ‘we have to be this way’ as humans. Slide under another rock, Trump.

Submission is a choice and one not made lightly. The women who finally break free of their personal barriers or demons to ask for what they want seem far happier. You know the women around you who are wallowing in self-pity, self doubt, anger, hatred, blah blah blah. You just do. They have pinched faces and nasty demeanors. They make fun of everything and everyone around them. Maybe if they accepted who and what they needed they’d be happier. Now, I’m stereotyping of course on purpose. Not always true, but I’ve seen plenty of down trodden women who could really use a strong man or a hard spanking. Well, I’m off my soap box now except to say – to each their own. Don’t condemn unless you yank off that mask you’ve been wearing.

I came up with an idea for a book in the middle of the night a few months ago. I wrote a little along on this fun, campy, sexy, yet romantic book thinking if I finished, okay. If not, okay too. Then the piece begged to be completed and submitted to Blushing Books – the leader in spanking/domestic discipline stories. I have a single story in a collection with them and I can tell you, great folks to work with. After being burned in the industry and by naysayers, I’m finally pushing all that aside and killing it with words.

So this piece is all about a women desperately in need of a strong man and discipline in her life, but she refuses to be hurt again. Her ex was… Well, you know the type. You’ll have to read the book to find out. She became determined to obtain what she needed, no matter how much she paid for the service. No connections. No emotion. No bullshit. Interesting premise eh? Here’s a little taste of a more romantic section of…


His eyes twinkled as he shook his head. “You just hold onto me and I’ll show you some of the prettiest country in the world.” He was up and on the saddle in a second, holding out his hand. “Come on. Bruce won’t hurt you.”

“Bruce?” Cheyenne didn’t want to appear afraid but the simple truth was that she was terrified.

“Yup. I ran out of names. Seemed fitting. You know. A little Bruce Willis in him I think. Feisty. Kinda like you. Come on over and say hello.”

She wasn’t entirely certain she liked the hidden meaning. Shrugging, she walked closer. “Hello Bruce. Please don’t kill me today. I almost like it here.”

He raised his eyebrows. “When we’re through with the ride, you’re going to love your decision to move to the finest location on this planet.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” she mused under her breath. She hiked up her skirt and gave him her hand. The second they touched she shuddered. This wasn’t the same touch of a man who’d spanked her. They were attracted to each other and she was mortified. This couldn’t happen. She pushed the context aside as he eased her over the back of the horse without a single hitch.

cowboy love 3Bruce whinnied when she was settled.

“He already likes you.” Master Joseph grabbed the reins. “Now wrap your arms around me, little lady and let me know you something extraordinary.”

She bit her tongue as Master Joseph took off, maneuvering out of the barn with flare. While he didn’t quite race Bruce out of the stable, the gallop was enough to make her hang onto the man with a firm grip. After a few minutes she relaxed, enjoying the scenery as well as the ride.

“You haven’t seen anything yet.”

During the next thirty minutes, Cheyenne was taken to streams and patches of flowers, the base of the snow capped mountain and areas where the view was spectacular. Along the way she took dozens of pictures and was eager to see them all together. This was indeed God’s country. She now understood completely why the Dawson contract was important to Dillon. What she would remain confused about was why he couldn’t show any emotion regarding his home and a way of life.

Master Joseph ended the ride in front of the door to his cabin. He slid off the horse, helping her down and tying off Bruce. “Did you get what you needed?”

“More than enough. Thank you so much. You have no idea how helpful this has been.” She patted Bruce before placing her head against his nose. The scent of the massive creature and the warmth of his muzzle were intoxicating. “And you, Sir Bruce, are wonderful.”

Bruce snorted and stomped a single hoof.

“He really does like you. In fact, I think you’ve stolen his heart. I fear he’s going to want to come home with you.”

“Ha. I live in a condo. I don’t think my landlord would approve.”

“You might just be surprised.” Master Joseph took a step back, tipping his hat as he flashed a grin. “And he doesn’t eat much.”

He’s gorgeous. Sexy. I could see… An awkward moment settled between them. She took several backwards steps toward her car. “I should be going.”

“Yes, I suppose you should. I know you’re a very busy woman. Saturday, Ms. Preswood? I do believe you continue to be out of sorts.”

“Saturday.” You have no idea.

“Excellent. Don’t be late.”

Why was she tingling all over? She studied his eyes briefly before looking away. “Thank you again.” She turned and walked with purpose toward her car. Her heart raced and the second she placed her hand on the door handle she groaned.

“Is something wrong?”

“Wrong?” Cheyenne fisted her other hand. She heard him walking closer, couldcowboy smell his intense exotic cologne mingled with what could only be described as All American male.

“What is it?”

“I…” Groaning she turned around but was unable to look him in the eye. “I was wondering and of course you’re under no obligation, but I was wondering…” The words died off in her throat. She was going to jump into her car and race away as if this entire moment hadn’t occurred.

Master Joseph placed his hand on her shoulder. He stood over her, the sun coming from behind his shoulders gave him a commanding presence.

Cheyenne rubbed her hands down the sides of her thighs.

“You need a round of discipline sooner than Saturday. You’re terrified of this presentation you’re so obviously going to have to give and you’re hoping a hard spanking will help give you courage. Am I close to being correct?”

She sagged against the car. “That obvious?”

“I could read that the moment I opened the door. I know my students.”

Students. The single word made everything very clinical. He was simply a man offering her his services. He was being kind to her by showing her the ranch. There was no alternative motive like love and romance or even sex. “Yes, you are very good at reading people.”

“We can certainly handle a round of punishment here. I don’t mind. We will have utter privacy at least.”

“Your home. I don’t mean to sound impetuous. It can wait.”

Master Joseph squeezed her shoulder. “Nonsense. I’m here to help you. Remember? Let’s go. By you asking me for discipline means you’re ready for a harsher punishment. You’re learning about your needs and requirements. I’m very proud of you.”

She exhaled and closed her eyes, falling into the role of student and submissive. “Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir.”

“Come with me.”

Just a little taste. There’s plenty of angst and sexiness from two cowboys – brothers I might add. Mmm…

Kisses and spanks…


About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
This entry was posted in Domestic Discipline, Domination and submission, Spanking and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Women Submitting to Men…Bullshit or Something Else?

  1. laurellasky says:

    As usual wonderful post. My book was with Blushing and they are awesome to work with and so nice and supportive of their authors. 👍💕❤️


  2. I’d love your opinion as I respect you and you have way more knowledge of the lifestyle than I do.

    Please know I do not wish to offend anyone here. I’m only stating MY observations. I’m on FB a lot. I’ve liked many BDSM pages, esp. ones of Doms or Sirs or whatever else they like to be called. It seems like these somewhat older men always prefer much younger subs, and that these subs tend to have certain traits in common: A background of abuse or self-harm or mental illness.

    They (as well as some of the Dom men I’ve known in person) seem to have this obsession with trying to undo or “make better” these poor girls’ terrible experiences and they strive to build them up. Seems almost like a God or Savior complex to me. No one knows better than me the desperate desire to save someone, but the results of those attempts have always been disastrous for me, as we all know you can’t save anyone.

    These men also seem to go through many, many subs in their lifetime.

    I guess my question is: 1. Doms seem much more…promiscuous (for lack of a better word) or unable to be with just one woman for a length of time. Are they driven to the lifestyle because of the fact that polyamory seems to suit them better?

    And do they choose younger, more emotionally unstable women because they’re naturally more submissive, and because they know they won’t be with them for the long haul so they want to save them or make a lasting impression so that they feel like they’ve accomplished something?

    I have to be honest with you. You’re the ONLY strong, independent sub I’ve seen. All the other “groupies” on these Doms’ pages just seem so…young and lost and like they romanticize the lifestyle (because they romanticize these men into these larger than life authority figures), more than understanding the true realities of it.


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