Saying hello to all my fans. I created this page specifically for an emotional D/s journey my continuing characters are going to be on in one of my most favorite stories I’ve ever penned. Jezebel (Jessie) and Luke have decided not only do they love each other and are committed, but they also trust each other enough to begin a new chapter in their lives and one involving Luke becoming her Dom. For any of you who know me, you know I have spent a lot of time learning about the lifestyle and while I don’t practice and am no expert, I realized the emotional side of learning trust and admitting so many aspects about yourself to another person is not only terrifying but very freeing.
This page is decided to the ongoing series. On Becoming His just hit e-book shelves and I thought I would bring you some selections and the synopsis. This book includes poems of mine and I’ll post some along. This journey will include some flash fiction from the co-writer/series creator, Benjamin T. Russell. While this is mine – or I should say Jessie’s story, Benjamin certainly gave me ideas and thoughts for Luke and book two will be Luke’s story. We’re looking at collaborating together on the piece bringing you both a man and woman’s direct point of view. I hope you enjoy…
This has been such an amazing process of love and as I totally get into the swing of 2014, I’m going to be finishing On Becoming Her Sir right around February 1st and working on the 4th this spring as well. Stay tuned. The love story only gets hotter.
Lessons Learned is now on ARe as well as B & N and Amazon. Here’s the link.
On Becoming His – Lessons Learned
Jezebel Waters and Luke Brennan entered into a D/s life together, exploring and learning the sacred concepts of trust, love, understanding, willingness to please, submission and utter devotion. Their journey was ongoing and in her mind, she embraced every aspect, including control — his control. Luke was a strict disciplinarian but also a passionate mate, who gave her his entire heart, soul and most importantly – his total acceptance of all of her. In turn, she was required to give him every aspect of herself, no matter what he asked. There were challenges along the way and while Jessie was committed to obeying, she was after all, willful. But there were reasons… Luke was hiding things from her.
Luke was a haunted man, one who held a secret close to his heart, and his past threatened to derail everything they shared together. Questioning his ability as her Dom had become a daily event and in turn he was disputing her devotion. During a course of events, both Luke and Jessie were required to face their respective demons as they moved forward into the world of BDSM, including an entrance into the dark world he’d left behind years before. His greatest fear? Losing her forever when she discovers his secret.
Share the story of Jessie and Luke as they continue on an emotional journey. For Jessie she must delve deep into her psyche, not only beginning to understand her willingness to become Luke’s submissive in every way. She also must comprehend exactly what the new beginning would entail — trust and control. For Luke, he must learn to balance his need to have devotion and obedience with patience. Jessie’s struggles to embrace every aspect of the lifestyle forced him to face the fact he was still a man, one very much in love as well as vulnerable. True love somehow refuses to be denied.
On Becoming His, the first in the series, introduces you to Jessie and Luke. On Becoming Her Sir, will further delve into their exploration of the lifestyle and the challenges they both must face, both personally and together as a couple as they move deeper into aspects of D/s as well as BDSM. Can they survive the pitfalls to obtain what few ever achieve, the most committed and very powerful of relationships? Only their continued journey will tell…
The journey will never end. It is only the beginning…
Here is the synopsis for On Becoming Her Sir
There was a wretched secret strangling his life, one that was killing him. For Luke Brennan, every dream was filled with a growing agony regarding the past, one he’d run from. The truths were brutal and now he refused to lie any longer. He was a monster. Sharing what had to be the most incredible D/s lifestyle with a woman he adored as well as treasured as his collared submissive, every day should have been filled with pure joy. Instead, the torture that burned deep within was overpowering, driving him into depths of hell. Then again, he deserved no less.
For Jezebel Waters, the journey they’d shared as they continued into such an emotional and uninhibited relationship was exhilarating. She’d found the woman buried beneath a lifetime of lies. Submitting to a powerful but loving Dom was the most incredible decision of her life. Sadly, she knew Luke was holding back something… No matter their level of trust or their deep conversations, he refused to trust her enough. And so the damning secret was tearing them apart.
On a fateful trip, one meant to begin yet another phase delving deeper into their emotional connection, tragedy struck, forcing Luke to face the very demon he’d pushed aside. He struggled with certain decisions, ones that could affect her life, until he was nearly lost to the madness. Somehow their deep devotion and an unbridled love brought them closer together as secrets were revealed. But was it too late?
His words excited me
Passion and desire laced in every phrase
I tingled because he reminded me
Of intimacy lost from haunted days
And I stopped breathing
His voice ignited me
Sensuality and longing sweeping through my soul
I trembled because he blinded me
With his concentrated level of control
And I lost my inhibitions
His kiss enticed me
Dark cravings scintillating my inner being
I shivered because he defied me
From his all consuming way of freeing
And I allowed him inside
His touch electrified me
A wild fire burning every cell furrowed so deep
I was humbled because he showered me
With a drug induced state, insatiable heat
And my primal needs grew savage
His power enveloped me
The gentle yet commanding way in which he whispered
I was awed by his sense of the woman inside, the vulnerability in me
Simple requests, complete respect in every word he issued
And I had never felt such joy
His eyes unbridled me
The window to the man inside, full of intensity
I was in shock by our intense connection, his complete understanding of me
Together we’ll break the chains of shadowed complexity
And then in ownership he’ll set me free…
I want to so thank you for all the wonderful comments about the recent re-release of On Becoming His. We added a whole new chapter with lots of sexiness written by both of us so we hope you enjoy. In case you aren’t a fan of our combined fan page on facebook – here’s a very sexy flash for you…
The journey continues. I thought I’d update everyone on a few sexy things. Ben and I have been working diligently on Lessons Learned and hopefully out by the end of the month. We continue to have amazing reviews for On Becoming His and I thought I’d share one with you. I have known Dawn – the owner of the site – for over a year now and we’ve gotten to be really good friends. When I asked her to review the piece I knew and respected her so much because I knew I would get an honest review. Not only did she honor me with her more formal review that you’ll see here but she also gave me a personal review and both blew me away. Take a peek and see what you think…
We also continue to do flashed on the On Becoming His fairly new fan page so if you aren’t a fan – take a peek. https://www.facebook.com/OnBecomingHisTheCollection
And we continue to put flashes and blurbs and pictures of their continuing journey. one in particular we just called Blue Ribbons and for some reason has been resonating with fans more than any of the others. Jessie and Luke continue to go through the journey and we’ve had some folks want more intimacy between then and they’ve questioned when and if they were moving more into BDSM. The answer is yes they are moving in that direction but as with any relationship it takes time and trust. That’s not going to happen over night. But Blue Ribbons (which we think will be added onto and published as a short story with much more material) is taking you further. Here’s the link and see what you think.
I hope you enjoy and we’ll continue…
I’m going to be adding some fun things here along. Ben and I tend to do a lot of flash fiction pieces together which really started us out thinking about this. Here is a synopsis of the upcoming On Becoming His – Lessons Learned – a new installment highlighting their journey.
Jezebel Waters and Luke Brennan entered into a D/s life together, exploring and learning the sacred concepts of trust, love, understanding, willingness to please, submission and utter devotion. Their journey was ongoing and in her mind, she’d truly embraced every aspect, including control — his control. Luke was a strict disciplinarian but also a passionate mate, who gave her his entire heart, soul and most importantly – his total acceptance of all of her. In turn, she was required to give him every aspect of herself, no matter what he asked. There were challenges along the way and while Jessie was committed to obeying, she was after all, willful.
Share the story of Jessie and Luke as they continue on an emotional journey together. For Jessie she must delve deep into her psyche, not only beginning to understand her willingness to become Luke’s submissive in every way. She also must comprehend exactly what the new beginning would entail — trust and control. For Luke, he must learn to balance his need to have devotion and obedience with patience. Jessie’s struggles to embrace every aspect of the lifestyle, challenges him to understand and accept there will be rough patches along the way.
During one moment of weakness, her devotion to him is brought into question and in turn, Luke is forced to issue the ultimate in punishments. Join a flash fiction read telling the tears and frustrations both Luke and Jessie share as she begins to regain his trust and his confidence in her understanding of his needs.
On Becoming His, the first in the trilogy series, introduces you to Jessie and Luke. On Becoming Her Sir, will further delve into their exploration of the lifestyle and the challenges they both must face, both personally and together as a couple. Can they survive the pitfalls to obtain what few ever achieve, the most committed and very powerful of relationships? Only their continued journey will tell…
The journey will never end. It is only the beginning…
June 23rd – Benjamin and I did a combined flash yesterday on our respective Facebook Fan Pages and at the bottom of this little snippet I will put the links so you never miss our wickedness. This is the first time they shared something together after he’d taken her collar away – which for any of you who know – the worst this that can happen to a collared sub. Take a peek at our flashes…
JESSIE’S NEW COLLAR
Jessie fumbled with her new collar, but her long hair kept getting in the way. She thought she had it fastened, but she wasn’t sure. Maybe if her hands weren’t shaking so bad, she could manage such a simple task.
This wouldn’t be the first time she had worn a collar in public with Luke, but tonight was special. Tonight would be their first time going out together since Luke had punished her for breaking the rules. She knew it was a well deserved punishment, she’d been incredibly williful. That’s why tonight was so important, it’s why she bought a new collar, to mark the occasion. She wanted to show him she could be an obedient submissive, that she could be the woman he wanted and the woman he would always need. She wanted her Sir to be proud of her.
“Luke, please take a look at this buckle and make sure I’ve got it fastened properly.”
She heard Luke waking toward and then he stopped. She waited for him to touch her or say something, but he did neither. When he sighed loudly, her heart sank. Oh no, what’s wrong, what did I do? She wanted to turn around, but she was afraid to see the look on his face. If he was angry or disappointed in her, she’d know it immediately. Luke didn’t play games with her, he was always fair, so if he was upset – she must have done something. She swallowed a deep breath to steady her already frayed nerves, but before she could turn around.
“Jessie, don’t move baby, stand just like that with your hair up.”
She froze in place just as he commanded. Her breath hitched and anticipation made a nest in her lower belly.
“Damn Jessie, you’re so beautiful. Lordie, it’s moments like this that totally still me. Whew, you make me so damn horny, my cock is so hard it hurts. What time is that Munch tonight? I think we’ve got time for a quickie.”
Luke slid up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist as he pressed his bulging cock against her body. With her heels on, Jessie stood close to Luke’s height and she felt his length up and down the crease of her ass, it made goosebumps break out all over her arms.
Jessie let out a sigh of relief. “Damn Luke, you scared me to death. I thought I’d done something wrong.”
“I’m sorry Kitty Kat, the only thing you did wrong is look so damn delicious. Gawd, I want to fuck you so bad right now,” he said, as he nuzzled her neck and nibbled on her earlobe. “Kat, this is a new collar. How many do you need? I think you’ve got more collars than you do shoes.”
Jessie exhaled slowly and darted a glance over her shoulder. “I know how much you like other men knowing I belong to you. I just wanted to make sure I had the right collar for tonight. I thought… I’m sorry if I displeased you.”
Luke sighed and then slid his hands up from her hips to her waist and then to her breasts, cupping and squeezing both and he lowered his head, whispering in her ear, “No, you didn’t displease me. The collar is perfect for tonight. I’m very proud to have you on my arm as always. You’re beautiful and beguiling and you’re right, I want every man in the club to know I own you.”
“Ooohhh…” Tilting her head back, she allowed her hair to fall across his shoulders as she eased her hands down the outside of his legs. “You always know how to make me feel so sexy and wanted.”
“Never forget that you are, even if you remain stubborn, willful.” The timbre of his deep voice floated between them and as he watched her eyelashes flutter against her cheek and a single bead of perspriation trickle down from her forehead, he grew hungrier. “I want you. Now. I can’t wait. The Munch will have to.”
Shuddering, Jessie licked her lips as he pushed her forward. “Yes, Sir.”
Studying her from behind, Luke tilted his his head as he took both index fingers and slowly pushed the thin straps her her dress down the length of her arms and remained quiet, lust filling every part of him, as gravity took the crimson silk to the floor. Standing only in her high heels and collar, her voluptuous form took his breath away. “Turn around slowly for me. I need to see every inch of you.”
“Yes, Sir.” Doing as she was directed, she swished her hips back and forth as she turned to face him, a slight smile gracing her face.
Nodding, she completed a full circle and blushed.
“You glow tonight.”
“This is special for me, Sir. I never want you to have to remove my collar again.”
“I hope I never will have to. I believe you’ve learned your lesson well.” There was something so radiant about her feminine gestures.
“Thank you, Sir.”
“You know what I want, what I need.” Luke took several steps backward and beckoned her with a single finger. While he longed to gather her into his arms, cradling her body into his chest while he carried her to their bed, this night was’t as much as passion as it was about recharging his control. And his beloved knew what he required.
“Yes, Sir.” Dropping to her knees, she crawled toward him, her eyes never leaving his face. When she was between his legs, she brushed his hands up the inside from his calves to his thighs. “May I suck you, Sir?”
“Yes, you may Kitty Kat.” No other woman had touched him in such a sensual fashion and as she stroked and caressed, Luke’s cock ached, needing her wet mouth to give him relief. Later he would take all of her, claiming her once again, filling her with his cream. But right now she was going to give him complete acquiescence.
Unzipping his pants slowly, Jessie pushed the linen down his hips and inhaled deeply, tiny mews slipping from her lips. As she wrapped her hand around the case of his cock, she shivered visibly.
The moment she placed her mouth around him, Luke exhaled slowly and intertwined his fingers in her hair. While he continued to question certain aspects of their relationship and his manner of controlling and nurturing their continued journey, there were times he simply enjoyed being with her. Tonight he was more proud of her than ever and tomorrow would begin another chapter. “Suck me, baby.”
I hope you enjoyed and here are our links…
June 12th – Adding two poems – Jessie feels challenged by Luke in many ways and while her behavior sometimes reverts back to the strong and challenging woman she was before she met him and entered into the contract – she truly believes she can be what he asks her to be. What I can tell you is that she is starting to realize that he has to change as well… The journey continues…
You remain willful…
His statement reverberated in the back of her mind as she stood gripping the edge of the counter
And yet she wanted to change
Needed to change
And become the completion of his soul
You try my patience…
His reminder made her shake her head, disappointment all consuming as she grabbed her glass of wine
The meaning of his sentiment challenging the woman from before
But she wanted to be owned
Needed to be owned
And fulfill the ripped hole in her soul
You forget your place…
His chastisement forced a slight moan from her lips as she gulped her drink and knew he was right
The acceptance of her continued faults a necessary evil
Yet she wanted to be controlled
Needed to be controlled
And solidify their strong commitment
You need to be disciplined…
His sharp statement sent tremors down her spine as her heart raced but there was nothing she wanted more
The desire for punishment a freeing need
Needed to be whipped
And completely succumb to his needs
You forget to call me Sir…
His harsh tone allowed a moment of tension between them and she wrinkled her nose, looking for forgiveness
The strong belief of their sacred bond a telling reminder
And she wanted to call him Sir
Needed to call him Sir
And she made a final promise to herself
You forever still my heart…
His powerful voice sent a warm glow of love enshrouding her body as she turned and faced the man
The intensity of his love filled eyes a final statement that she belonged
And then she called him Sir
Would always call him Sir
And would forever belong to him
A feeling of anxiety settled into my stomach from seeing his face
His surprised face
A moment of self-doubt swept through my system understanding what I’d done
And I shivered
And chastising myself
A concept of hoping was dashed after stealing a glance into his eyes
His pain filled eyes
A heightened level of anger boiled within me as I retraced my steps
And I exhaled slowly
And hating myself
An acceptance of what would be stilled my heart from watching his hands
His anger clenched hands
A serene silence shadowed my mind as a single moan escaped my lips
And I allowed tears to fall
And loathing myself
His sweat-laden arm
A dense roaring echo drummed though my ears as I bit back bitter bile
And I fell to the floor
And destroying myself
A rationalization of what this would mean to our love dawned after studying his face
His disappointed face
A growing hunger to completely submit my body and soul flashed into my heart
And I lifted my hand
And torturing myself
And then he walked out the door…
June 11th – something a bit new. She’s still very willful and the little tease needs to be taught a lesson or two BUT she is also teasing Luke how to handle her. From a Tantalizing Tuesday post Benjamin and I did – enjoy…
TAKING HER COLLAR
Luke held the collar so tightly that he might have been clinging for his life. Only couples who actually lived in a D/s relationship could fully understand the magnitude of what he’d just done. It tore a hole in his heart to take her collar, but this was a lesson she needed to learn.
He watched a myriad of emotions play across her face. Before he could say another word, sparks flared in her eyes.
“No, I don’t think so,” she said through clenched teeth. Then she turned and left the room.
Luke poured himself a stiff drink and swallowed it in one gulp. He picked up her discarded dress as he made his way to their bedroom.
The sight that greeted him made his heart ache and his cock throb in pants.
There was Jessie, on the bed, her ankles and her hands cuffed behind her. Off to the side lay his flogger and a bottle of coconut oil. Luke smiled and began to take off his clothes.
Jessie’s heart ached as she stalked into the bedroom, the horror of what she’d just done coursing through her. There were no words to describe the way she was feeling. For Luke to have removed her collar left her trembling with fear and trepidation and something she hadn’t anticipated, raging desire. As she stood staring at the bed she whimpered softly to herself before seeing the flogger on the nightstand.
Swallowing hard, she padded around the bed, her heart racing. And then she knew what she had to do. She grabbed a bottle of coconut oil from the bathroom and laid it gingerly on the comforter. Climbing on the bed, first she cuffed her ankles and then had to maneuver to get the cuffs around her wrists.
She lowered her head as a single tear slipped from her eye and waited as patiently as she could. And patience was not her virtue. When she heard him enter the room she anticipated his anger, and it was well deserved. She’d stormed out after all.
Several seconds ticked by. ”Mmm… Just how I like you,” Luke growled.
Jessie was apprehensive of his reaction but the second she felt his cock pushing hard against her ass, she knew what was going to happen. This was her Sir and she would obey him. Period.
This is a new little section I’m putting in for fun. Jezebel has a tough time not being willful and it’s more about the fact of her learned behavior than anything else. Luke has a very difficult time dealing with her and her emotions and sometimes isn’t certain he made the right decision. After a particularly wretched moment for her where she completely lost her way – she decided to try and tell him how committed she was in an entirely different way. I hope you enjoy…
IF IT PLEASES HIM
Jessie was forever challenging herself mentally, trying to prepare every day in a manner in which Luke would be pleased. She continued to struggle with the woman inside, the one who was afraid of falling back into her old life, her old needs. They’d been through trying times together and she remained worried he would lose interest, or think her too willful. She sat at the kitchen table staring at nothing and everything, swirling the tip of her finger around the rim of her coffee cup as she thought about Luke. Then she thought about the disappointed look on his face. Closing her eyes briefly, she would never be able to get the look of his dark eyes flashing after the words had left her mouth. Stupid, stupid girl.
The punishment had been well deserved and so had her time alone, away from him. After all, she’d disparaged him in front of their friends. Their friends for God’s sake! She knew in her heart she certainly hadn’t intended to do anything so rash – so ridiculous, but work was stressful and she had forgotten her place. Groaning, she stole a glace at the bitter Chicory brew and shook her head. She couldn’t eat. She couldn’t sleep. Jessie was a complete and utter mess.
Finally resigned to the fact she wasn’t going to get much accomplished during the day, she rose to her feet and had to fight not to pitch the ceramic mug all the way across the kitchen. Somehow the broken bits of glass would give her something to do other than simply feeling sorry for herself and her shameless behavior. No, she was stronger than this. She had to find a new way to tell him how she felt and to give herself to him. She had to let him know she would obey. Heading down the hallway to take a shower, Jessie cringed but made more than one promise to herself.
Minutes later she was seated in front of her computer, doing what she did many nights while he was away – surfing the Internet for answers and more training and somewhere to help her finally free the real woman inside. Happening upon a new site, she flipped through picture after pictures of women being tied and controlled. And then she saw the listing of rules. Something about them truly caught her eye and for a minute she was breathless. Hitting print, Jessie knew this would help. While the simple gesture was miniscule in comparison to her horrid behavior, this was a start. He’d never tied her up, saying she wasn’t ready. Well tonight she would make what she hoped would be the final submission.
Could he forgive her?
A little flash for you that Ben and I have been doing and we’ll keep up with posting more as well… This is our collection for Luke and Jezebel’s journey…
Jessie scrambled over the overturned, overstuffed sectional pieces and wondered, not for the first time, why the hell did she buy such overpriced furniture? Of course, she knew the answer, IKEA had it on sale and she couldn’t resist. Now she was desperately searching for a lost item amid the mountain of cushions. An item she had to find before Luke came home and accidentally sat down on it. OMG – that would be so funny. Hmm, maybe not.
Her mind drifted back to one of the last things he said before leaving on a weeklong business trip. “Jessie, remember – you are not to pleasure yourself while I am gone. If you break that rule, I will know – because you will tell me. Do you understand?”
She smiled submissively. ‘Yes, I understand.” The look in his eyes made her moist. “Yes Sir,” she corrected. That was Monday.
In minutes, Luke would be walking through the front door. She had the best of intentions, but she missed him so damn much. She’d only used the dolphin once – once on Tuesday, once on Wednesday and once again on Thursday.
The sound of the front door opening startled her. “Honey, I’m home.”
Jessie takes a step back, her eyes darting back and forth across Luke’s face. There is no doubt he knows what she’s been up to. He always knows. After all, he’s her Sir. “I’ve missed you.”
“Have you been a good little girl?” Easing toward her, Luke gazes down the length of her and sighs. “I have a feeling you’ve been very naughty. Tell me the truth.”
There is no doubt what will happen if she lies. Stealing a quick glance at the hall table, Jessie slowly walks to retrieve the hair brush. As she holds it out, her eyes imploring him for discipline, she can see his heated breath. “No, Sir.”
With a single finger he beckons as he shakes his head. “Willful as always I see.”
And a single tear slips from her eye…
When Jessie first told him what she’d done while he’d been gone, Luke was furious. Not that he was surprised – he’d known from the beginning it would require great patience to tame a willful woman like Jessie
“Jessie, what is Rule #6 in your contract?”
Jessie bowed her head. “When I break a rule, I shouldn’t try to hide it or deny it. At the first opportunity, I should apologize for my indiscretion. I should also immediately request punishment and forgiveness.”
Luke simply arched an eyebrow and moved to sit in his discipline chair. Without another word, Jessie left the room and came back with the chain attached to her collar. She handed him the chain and a brush, before dropping to her knees. His anger fueled his lust. Now after emptying five days worth of stored up cum down her throat, he wasn’t quite so angry. Still, she needed to be punished for her willful disregard for his rules.
He stared at her and the expectant look on her face almost made him smile – almost.
“Jessie, I don’t think applying the brush to your sweet ass is an appropriate punishment since you seem to enjoy it so much. Instead….”
Pensive, she lowered her head in reverence knowing what she’d done, how much hurt she’d caused her SIR. As her body trembled she tried to think of something to say — anything to say to give reasons for her actions, her harsh words. But there was none. She’d simply lost her way, becoming the willful woman he continued to remind her of and the one she’d grown to hate. What could she do? Lifting her head finally, Jezebel licked away the tears that had fallen to her mouth.
“Please, sir. I need to be punished. I beg you. I promise I’ll learn. I’ll try harder.”
Luke held up a single finger as if reminding her of her place and then slowly eased the tip down from her forehead to her nose and finally tracing a circle around her lips.
“Open you mouth.”
Obeying instantly, she took his finger into her mouth, suckling as she kept her eyes locked onto his. As her body trembled she reached out with one hand.
Willful. He’d thought the word more and more lately. Jezebel was opinionated, stubborn and at times difficult. She was also the most vivacious woman he’d ever met. Training her had proven to stretch the boundaries of his patience. Chuckling softly, he realized taming her was like corralling a wild animal – a beautiful, tempestuous creature.
Jezebel stirred, opening her eyes. Reaching out, she grazed the tips of her fingers down his arm and emitted a single moan. “Morning.”
“Good morning, kitty kat. How did you sleep?”
“I had a dream of a stormy night and my Sir protecting me.”
“And what was I protecting you from?”
As she looked down, a single tear trickled down her cheek.
Luke lowered his head and licked away the salty bead, his cock throbbing with need. Shifting, he eased apart her legs until he could feel the wet heat of her desire. “Jezebel, tell me. What was I protecting you from?”
“From me.” Her eyes haunted, she issued a single smile.
Luke squeezed her ass, the feel of her silken flesh never failed to excite him, but her stubbornness and willful ways had become wearisome. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but not if she couldn’t be tamed. He sucked in a cleansing breath and exhaled it slowly.
“Jessie, you look absolutely gorgeous in that white dress and I’m delighted you aren’t wearing any panties. Are you excited about going dancing tonight?”
Jessie wigged her hips. “Yes Baby, I love to dance and the music makes me feel so alive. I’ve been bad, so I chose this dress because I wanted to please you. Which collar do you want me to wear with it?”
“Jess, are you happy?”
“OMG, I’m wicked happy. Last night – you ran me a bubble bath and fucked me in the tub. Then we made slow love in front of the fireplace. Finally, you carried me upstairs and fucked me – hard. Hot-damn, I’m still tingling all over.”
She sighed. “I don’t know why you haven’t punished me yet, but I’m ready for any punishment you decide on.”
“No collar for you tonight.”
“Oh Luke, please – don’t do that.”
Jezebel was apprehensive and very concerned. They were going out, something she loved, and yet she knew what she’d done deserved punishment. Nibbling her bottom lip, she could tell by the stern look on her face just how disappointed Luke was in her behavior. For some reason she continued to stretch boundaries – ones she knew better than to push. “I know you’re angry, sir.”
Sighing, Luke looked away before opening his legs and beckoning to her. “Come.”
“Yes, sir.” She longed for him to spank her so perhaps she’d be forgiven. Closing the distance, she stood trembling in front of him, but not from fear. Need.
Luke brushed his hands up the back of her legs, caressing her naked ass before raising his eyebrows. “What are you asking for, Jezebel?”
“Please punish me.”
He took his time, saying nothing. Then he eased his hands up her back, pushing her down to the floor at the same time. “Very well. As you know, we’re going out so I expect you to wear your finest tonight. I plan on showing you off.”
“This is something I never wanted to do.” Luke removed her collar.
Tears cascaded down her cheeks. “No!”
ON BECOMING HIS
Jezebel Waters, Jessie to her friends, had everything in her life that she could ever want. From a successful career as a top-level executive, a hefty salary and fabulous friends, she had the world in the palm of her hand – except for the right man in her life. In the back of her mind she knew she was missing something and the realization was almost terrifying. She craved being under the command of a powerful Dom, but how the hell could she admit to anyone what she considered her kinky needs?
Resigned to living a very vanilla life, she entered into several relationships and every one of them failed miserably. Jessie gave up on love – until she met Luke Brennan. From his gorgeous chocolate-laced skin to his quiet yet powerful demeanor, Jessie was hooked on learning more. Growing close, when he admitted his own needs, she knew she’d found everything she’d been searching for her entire life. While Luke wanted nothing more than to own her, he was hesitant to enter into the agreement until she completely understood the life she would lead as a collared woman.
While she was more than eager to learn, she remained terrified of the girl inside and of her dark hungers. Join Jessie on an emotional journey as she delves deep into her psyche, not only beginning to understand her willingness to become Luke’s in every way, but also to comprehend exactly what the new beginning would entail — trust and control. Through poems and prose, this story is just the beginning for both…
He is my lover
He is my friend
He is my Sir
Jezebel Waters, Jessie to all who knew her, sat at her kitchen table aimlessly swirling her finger around the edge of her wine glass. The words a mantra, she had been saying them over and over again for weeks. This wasn’t about convincing herself of anything. The words were frankly stated and utterly the truth, and in fact had allowed her soul to be freed completely for the first time in her life. The thought, even to her, seemed odd initially, but the moment she’d not only accepted the realization but also really worked through the why’s in her mind, the day had been one of the best in her life. And very freeing. Sadly, this was also a concept and a lifestyle she had no idea how to explain to others why she wanted something so different – no had to have the blissful change in her life. How the hell could she? After all, she was a strong woman in every term of the word. Jessie had it all. That’s what everyone told her. But the truth was, she’d been unhappy the majority of her adult life. At least the partial truth was her life was full of broken dreams and she wanted more – so much more.
Sighing, Jessie tried to simply hone in on the intense rock music blasting from the CD player and groaned. What she needed was something softer, given the mood she was in. Rising to her feet, she slowly walked into the living room and flipped through her eclectic selection of music, finally selecting her favorite Spanish guitarist. The moment the sultry sounds filtered into the air, she exhaled slowly. Nodding, she folded her arms and walked back to retrieve her wine, her nerves frazzled.
Why the hell she was so antsy wasn’t really wasn’t the question. She knew why. After all, she’d fallen hard for a man who continued to take her breath away. Taking a sip of wine, she licked the rim and thought about him. Luke Brennan was everything she’d ever wanted in a lover and mate. From his rugged features and deep chocolate skin to his soulful eyes and quiet demeanor, he was without a doubt the most intriguing man she’d ever met. He was also a practiced Dom but hadn’t had a sub in many years, almost a decade. The thought giving her a shudder, she moved toward the window, staring out at the afternoon sky.
Palming the glass, she slumped against the window frame as a tremor of fear skated down her spine. This was the perfect relationship for her and one she’d only come to understand and appreciate recently. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Hissing, she took a gulp of her wine and closed her eyes. The absolute truth was that she had thought about entering into a D/s situation on more than one occasion, even going so far as to do hours, days worth of research on the Internet and she couldn’t deny she was utterly and completely terrified. You want to submit. You crave everything about the lifestyle and the man. Granted, the words were very true and she continued to repeat them over and over to herself like a mantra – and she had several she’d practiced time and time again.
Laughing, Jessie licked her lips as her heart raced. How many nights had she lain awake doing nothing but thinking about this? How many times had she opened her mouth simply to say the words out loud and couldn’t do it? “You’re terrified. Admit it.” Yes, she was. Trust. That was part of the reason and she couldn’t deny she’d never met a man she could trust, not only with her brutal admittance but also with the concept of turning over every aspect of her normal, daily routine to. After all, her previous boyfriends and fiancés were not only fairly conservative with regard to their life both in and out of the bedroom, but they would have thought she was a complete freak if she ever told them about her desires.
Yes, I long to be your submissive and to have you own me, tell me what to do and I want to be required to follow rules. I want to be collared and disciplined as necessary. I crave being your submissive sexually and in our everyday life, allowing you anything and everything you want. Sighing, just thinking the words gave her chills. This wasn’t the kind of admission you told anyone. Period. And she hadn’t, realizing her friends and family would think she was out of her mind. Then she met Luke and suddenly everything seemed possible.
Nibbling her bottom lip, Jessie had finally figured out her longing began in her early twenties, but back then she had no idea what she thought she wanted nor was the concept of entering into a D/s relationship even talked about in society very much. It was an ugly, dark and very secretive desire – if people really had them. Jesus Christ, the thought of a man taking control of her life would have been scandalous fader to the point her girlfriends at the time would have had her committed. And so Jessie followed the path of least resistance, entering into very vanilla relationships time and time again. That is after a bad girl period in which one too many dangerous men had taken her on a path of near destruction. Shuddering, she could see how ridiculous her risky behavior had been but at the time she thought she was having fun, not soul searching for some perfect mate.
Then she’d given up completely on finding the right “him”. Instead, a guy she could care about and call a friend became her goal. Somehow the notion seemed so much better than fighting reality and the way everybody just grew up, or grew into a set pattern of life. Now Jessie wanted so much more. Thank God she’d met Luke. Still, she was apprehensive of how he would react as she continued to learn and explore. “Stop it!” No, she knew Luke cared about her tremendously and she’d often told him she trusted him implicitly. And she did. The thought gave her a warm feeling sweeping through her body.
As she lifted her glass, she realized her hand was shaking. Jessie couldn’t get her first meeting with Luke out of her mind. She’d been with a group of girlfriends at her favorite club and there was something so enigmatic about him when he’d walked in, she was left breathless. There wasn’t a man or woman in the darkened club who hadn’t known how powerful his prowess was, yet he carried himself in a distinguished fashion, observing the crowd with a slight smile on his face. Instantly attracted to him, she’d made no bones about the fact she’d love to meet the stunning black man. What had surprised her was the way a few of her friends had admonished her choice, reminding her interracial relationships were still difficult at best. Simply the single thought at the time had filled her with rage. What century were they in? Oh boy and what about the other? Her darker cravings? Shaking her head, Jessie laughed. Just what would the girls say if they knew she was considering entering into a D/s lifestyle with him?
Was she? “Fuck.” Moving away from the window, she grabbed the open bottle of cabernet, filling her glass as she thought about everything she and Luke had been talking about over the last weeks. There was something so powerful about his presence and the way he had almost instantly realized she was interested in something more than just a traditional relationship. Stopping short, she honestly couldn’t remember the first time they’d discussed the concept. Hmm… no, she remembered. The event had been a turning point. What she knew about his every day life she was more than impressed with. The other was simply icing.
Luke was a Senior Vice President for a financial advising firm and was well respected as
a public speaker. He had children from a previous marriage and one where his ex never knew about his particular desires and needs. Smiling, she thought about the first time they’d kissed after their third date and suddenly everything seemed to change. They’d both grown very hungry. She was completely drawn to his brawn, his intellectual ways and his quiet demeanor.
AS IF I BELONGED TO YOU
I sense your presence, your hunger growing
You have willed me to this place
A dark haven on hallowed ground
As if I belonged to you
I imagine your thoughts, your desires keening
You will bind me to your soul
A longing to succumb without question
As if I belonged to you
I feel the heat of your breath, your patience waning
You will take me as you wish
A final acquiescence, my body given
As if I belonged to you
I understand the strength of your love, your control commanding
You will now own me, enrapture me, protect me…punish me
A quiet reverence, master of my domain, the trust complete
As I belong to you
Thank you for joining Jessie and Luke on an incredible journey…