A New Beginning

It’s an appropriate title today. I’m sitting here with a fabulous NEW laptop. My gorgeous Mac is actually almost identical to the one purchased seven years ago. Seven. I have to marvel at the concept. Computers these days are almost throw away. A Mac is something else entirely. I abused the keyboard on the last one so that Apple had to re-glue a few keys. I did add memory given this is one of the rare laptops that has a hard drive still and you can add memory yourself. That helped for the past year. I have so much stored on the poor baby that finally it was driving your mother’s aging Buick. So… A fabulous deal allowed me to purchase a new model and still a rare laptop with a hard drive. The color on the monitor is fabulous, the speed out of this world and all the new goodies and treats just spectacular. So, what’s a girl to do? Begin writing in earnest in a new fashion.

Trying to figure out what to transfer from the old one has made me do everything from remember all the passwords for the various programs you forget to really considering what stories and pictures are important. Daunting given I have about a half million files. So, perhaps I’ll discover what’s most important to me. This is certainly backing up to the fact Booktrope is closing its doors. I’m still thinking about what I want to do. Self publish? Give up writing? Go with another publisher? Laugh as I drink wine? Well, I did the last one. The tears had come a hell of a lot earlier this year. So now the wonderful computer. The truth is I’m a writer and that’s what I find enjoyment in. Stories just allow a snippet of my wacky mind, enabling me to work through anger, sadness, happiness and every other emotion.

I’m writing a story that is about a new beginning for two people. Three Rivers Run Deep has a dual meaning, given Missoula Montana has three rivers that highlight the fabulous city – a place I’ve only been to through stories from DH and the Internet. This is also about two damaged souls who find solace in letting go of their demons – all under the gorgeous blue skies, impressive mountains, music and a mystery regarding an arsonist. Throw in a damaged military man, smoke jumpers and of course sexy men and well…

So here’s a little taste of one of my favorite stories, one that will be a gut wrencher.  I hope you enjoy.

THREE RIVERS RUN DEEP

“Babe. You all right?”

Jessica opened her eyes. The sound of Cody’s voice was usually melodic, calming given her recent rages. Tonight, he was off handed, as if she didn’t matter in the least. Maybe she didn’t. “Peachy.” She felt the seat shift as he eased down beside her. When he placed a hand on her knee she shifted, pulling her feet onto the seat and staring out the window. The lights of some Godforsaken town trickled by as the bus lurched. She hated greasy burgers and shitty motel rooms with sheets that had been washed in dirt water. There was nothing good about waking up every day in a different location, changing clothes in ninety degree heat while bugs feasted on every inch of her naked skin.

“Jesus. You’ve been a pissy bitch lately.”

She didn’t bother reacting. Why should she care?

After a full minute Cody sighed. “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

Shrugging, she ran her hands through her hair. “Just tired. Over it.”

“You meant the usual.”

This time she shot him a nasty look, but had little desire to play the ‘retort’ game. “I’m allowed to be exhausted you know.”

“Every day, all day?”

Of course he was laughing at her. “What do you want from me?”

“What do I want?”

“Yeah?” She turned her head, blinking as tears threatened to fall. “What do you want me to do? Perform like a seal? Dance a jig in front of the crowd so maybe they’ll tell their friends and draw a crowd?”

Cody sniffed, wiped his mouth and looked out the window. “You really think that all I care about are the gigs?”

“Well, don’t you?” Challenging him was easy.

He waited a full five seconds before shaking his head. “You don’t think I worry about you or enjoy our time together? Is that what’s going on?”

“Do you?” she asked as she twisted and lifted her head. Clueless bastard. “Do you care about me like you used to? Do you want nothing more than to spend the night with me, dreaming of all the amazing things we could do together, songs we could write?” When he shrunk back, his mouth turning into a frown, she sighed and choked out laughter. “Of course not. Just go.”

“That’s what you do best. Push me away. You don’t give a crap about anything I want or need. Do you?”

She looked over his shoulder at the sleeping crewmember. The burly man shifted before sucking in a snore. “You don’t know what I care about and I’m not certain you ever did.”

“It’s all about you. Every damn thing is about you. You’re so fucking self centered,” Cody hissed.

Jessica blinked twice before looking away. She wasn’t going to allow him to see her cry. The driver made a wide right turn. Bumfuck Nowhere looked do much better enshrouded in flashing fuchsia and chartreuse.

He reached out, almost taking her hand. Curling his fingers, he rested his palm on the seat and looked at the ceiling of the bus. “I still love you.”

The two years they’d been intimate had been tumultuous yet she’d longed to hear the words for so many months. Now, they meant little. “I know.”

“Good. Then let’s do something about it.” Cody’s eyes flashed in the dim lighting. He rose to his feet, giving her a wink, and walked a few feet ahead.

She watched as he slid the curtain from one side of the bus to the other. This was considered their private quarters. Excitement surged from deep within. They hadn’t been intimate in weeks. She’d changed into a short cotton dress for the ride and her nipples ached, scraping against the thin material. She bit back a moan and shifted. Her thong was decidedly uncomfortable.

When he turned he held his index finger up to his mouth as he unfastened his belt.

Tingling, she didn’t care that they used sex to pretend closeness. She’d had just enough wine on the bus to warrant the wetness between her legs. She pursed her lips and slid first one strap of her dress down her shoulder then the other, exposing her breasts.

“Naughty vixen.”

“Yet I’m tempting you,” she purred.

Just a little taste of her angst. Imagine what she might be going through…

Kisses and spanks

Cassandre