So I know the concept of going “dark” might not be the Valentine’s Day kind of question to ask but I do so to a special guy who happened to read my little kinky blog about alternative Valentine’s Day gifts. He loved the very notion that not all women need to have the basic flowers, candy and night out at a WAY overpriced venue. Then there are all those diamond commercials. Really ladies? Do you honestly think having some diamond given to you on Valentine’s Day is the cat’s meow? Eh – highly overrated in my book. As I mentioned, I would prefer a basket filled with play toys. An ass plug in red, handcuffs in steel, a selection of floggers and nipple clamps are so real. Mmm… Yeah, a little sexy rhyme for you. He laughed saying he enjoyed the piece then we started talking about how he had shared certain pictures with me – VERY hardcore kinky ones. BTW his name is John Patrick. Great guy and very kinky…
After we laughed and chatted for a little bit about how the majority of women would react to the pictures let alone something wild and wicked, we took the conversation a bit kinkier. What if these women had a BIG foil bag given to them – you can imagine what they believe is stuffed inside – how would they react when they pulled out something else entirely? Instead of the usual trinkets, the interior was filled with something laced from a fantasy? One that said in no uncertain terms he wanted to take her all hard and cowboy style. The thought is truly delicious. John Patrick so prefers a woman who is a bit out there, but also as he likes to say – he wants a ‘woman to be a woman’. He so appreciates the smells and the taste, the touch and the look in her eyes that’s very feminine. Yet finding a woman who will embrace what some would call the extreme dark side is precious to him – and hard to find.
I had to admit I knew he was right. Granted, I have a lot of women actually allowing the inner girl, the rather kinky girl that is buried deep within all of us, talk to me and tell me what they’re thinking, what they really want. My guess is they tell very few men this – and definitely not the men they’re involved with. They read all my naughty stories in a hope to live the life of the heroine as vicariously as possible. There is nothing wrong with that but what if you could let go? My theory is that we would all love a taste of the dark side – for a night or longer even, but we’re so programmed to being completely vanilla that we think so much of the kink is just wrong. There is nothing wrong about love or the need to feel passion in so many ways. Passion is what we inspire and create, the intimacy so special and unique to all of us.
I love couples who can truly spread their wings and try something outside of their comfort zone, indulging and engaging together. Granted, what they have to be able to do is to be totally open, nothing held back. Close your eyes for a minute and just think about a moment when you could do that with your partner, you could tell him or her about her deepest desires, no matter how sultry or how vile… Could you? Could you ask to be spanked either on a one time basis or perhaps every few days? Could you mention you wanted to go to a kink club, one where everything was on the menu? Could you ask to be tied and fucked in exactly the manner he craves, no matter how hard or how often? No, there is nothing wrong with the concept. Nothing. You get to be a bit wild and if you have to use Valentine’s Day as an excuse, so be it.
Back to my friend. It’s nice to be able to talk to him very openly about some things. He happens to love my writing and that makes me smile. He’s been very open with me on top of everything. So in thinking about the great Cupid holiday, I gave him a few thoughts to think about and something in particular I wanted him to answer. We really allowed ourselves to delve into talking dirty talk – yes that’s allowed among adults. You can laugh. In truth we carried on a very deep conversation about men and women and what he thought he wanted in an alternative lifestyle. He mentioned, as I’ve heard from so many men, they want a woman who is unafraid to try and he said hands down he’s not into vanilla sex any longer. He wants anal and ladies all men do. They want to take you in what so many believe to be such a taboo place. And why women hate anal sex I just have no idea. NONE. I love it. WHEW and the entire concept takes a bit of getting used to but when you do…
I pushed John Patrick further, knowing he wanted to tell me more. So he commented on his need to discipline. Again that can mean many things so I pressed even further. He wants so much to use his leather on a woman’s ass, pussy, thighs and breasts. He acted nervous at first then when he realized I certainly wasn’t criticizing in any manner. So he told me he had a burning need to truly create stripes on a woman – controlled of course, but he is finally embracing he has a need to be a Dom – not just a yearning any longer. He admitted he was still learning, very proud of the fact, and is so excited to finally be on his personal journey. What I haven’t told you is that John is a very dynamic man, one who is powerful in RL let alone holding a whip in his hand it truly inspiring. I admire him for so many reasons. His intelligence is amazing, his laughter soul provoking and his thoughts are just – well for me they remind me why I’m a writer.
In being allowed to unpeel another layer, he stated for the first time in his life he longed for a submissive, one he could absolutely follow a special journey with, one complete at some point with devotion and aspects of BDSM. Seeing the look in his eyes, one that can only be described as thoughtful and introspective, I saw his future in a combination of love and lust, understanding and patience. I can tell you I had mist in my eyes. One final piece was he could see himself living a D/s lifestyle. Now, for the lay person, the vanilla person, one might ask right off the bat – what in the world is the big deal and why would anyone want this?
I say – because there is nothing more powerful between a couple…
John Patrick listened to me talk about my writing, my desires, and about my hopes for the future and he smiled, laughed the deep and very sexy laugh I’ve grown to love, and said – a woman like you? You’ll find what you need. Is there anything better than that?
So again, on this upcoming very romantic holiday, I give you permission to look for something as kinky as you want. Remember, this is your life. Enjoy.
Kisses and spanks…and thanks John Patrick for such sinful spinspiration.