The Art & Terror of Pleasing a Woman

Who do you think is kinkier, a man or a woman? Who is more likely to stretch their boundaries sexually? Who is the least inhibited? Hmm…  I think it depends in truth. I promised you ladies that I’d talk to men about how WE need to be please. Of course we all know that men and women are completely different. It’s just sometimes we tend to forget. We forget a lot about each other as a different members of the sex – especially when we’ve been in a relationship for a little while. I’ve talked to men and women a hell of a lot about passion. Both sexes hunger and while they don’t speak about their needs the same way, both sexes crave to be touched, to be wanted.

There is no doubt about it – we all want to have that HOT moment of wickedness in our lives. Whether we get off on sexting or a tryst in the back of a Victoria's Secretheated vehicle, we breathe heavy and our nipples get hard, our pussies clench and for men they stay throbbing and in need. We smile when a secret email comes in or a sly phone call is made. Let’s face facts. We love what we can’t have and if a little bit of danger is involved, even better. For some that can mean having an affair. For others, the notion is moving away from the tried and true comfort level in what we have already. Stretching our boundaries is a tough thing to do, especially after we get older. We tend to do the same things the same way all the time – including sex. Some men complain about their wives/girlfriends/lovers that they NEVER do anything kinky. They never want to have sex in the middle of the day or give a blowjob going down the highway.

Well ladies, you have gotten stuck in a rut. Truly. I have talked to enough men to be able to agree that many women have indeed fallen into this trap.

Well, then there’s the side with women who go – if my man could only figure out how to please me. Well guys, you do forget. Do you remember when you were dating and the care you took with your appearance? You wouldn’t dare show up without having drinking wine in sudstaken a shower and at least found your best looking tee-shirt. Right? Splash on a little cologne and she might just swoon a bit. You certainly remembered all the things you should with her, from talking about something she was interested in to complimenting her on her dress, her smile, her hair… You get the point. Then you get together and you forget to woo her.

Wooing is an art and for men they can be completely terrorized about doing everything from purchasing slinky lingerie to selecting flowers. And you’ve been together for years. Really? I know – I’ve heard all the statements that you’re afraid you’ll buy the wrong size or color. Trust me guys – if you roll into Victoria’s Secret and purchase just about anything, we’re gonna love the sexy little piece – no matter if we have to fix the size. Just suck it up and walk into the store. Make nice with the helpful sales girls and go purchase a teddy – flaming red if you ask me. Buy her several pair of thong panties. Yeah, you know – the ‘G’ string kind – or as some would call butt floss. Trust me – you will get a hot night from the effort.

What else are do’s and don’ts guys? Well, every once in awhile if you’re living together – pick up after yourself. Don’t drop the change that’s mixed with gum wrappers/coins/toothpicks/screws/nails on the kitchen counter. Remember to actually take the dirty clothes upstairs to the hamper. Just a couple hints. Do compliment her, kiss her on the neck when you get home, pat her on the butt. Suggest out of the blue that you want to go out to dinner. Attend to the dirty dishes after dinner. I think you get the point.

For women who aren’t living with their guy and maybe you’ve barely just begun to scratch the surface kind of relationship – there are all kinds of things here. Yes, I do believe men think with their dicks quite a bit. If they are horny and want to hook upGuitar with a woman – oh boy they are the masters of texting/emailing/picture taking. They will tell you a thousand times a day how HOT they are for you and show you pictures of their hard cock. They will call you and masturbate or send you sexy sayings. They will make certain you have no doubt they want to fuck.

Then you do. Then they disappear. It’s like freaking clock work. No longer is it about the guy rolling over after cumming. Nope. Now it’s about you have sex and they just feel like they never have to talk dirty again. They stop telling you they’re hungry and I guess just assume you get it. Really? Hmm… Guys. BIG hint here. DO NOT DO THAT, You don’t have to be all lovey dovey. Guess what guys? Some girls do just want you for your body. But having said that – we also want to at least have some feedback after the event. Don’t worry. Most of us just want a few words and at times a bit of what we shared with you before – talk dirty to me baby. That’s what I’m saying.

Be inventive in the sex department. Guys always whine about women only wanting is missionary style. Well guys, you seem to just want certain things a certain way. Break out of your mold and take her to a very special place and seduce her. Enjoy getting to know her body all over again. Touch her. Taste her. Lick her. The fucking will be much more enjoyable.

In writing about couples, I honestly try to show that regular couples can and should do the kinkiest things. Take the car out and park. Ease into the back seats and rip her panties off. Lick her until she cums then take her to Victoria’s Secret, buy a few naughties, have a glass or two of wine at her favorite bistro and suggest you go back to her place or your place and have some wild and wicked fun. Doesn’t sound too hard, does it? You might be very surprised gentlemen where this will lead you.

Be dominant in the bedroom – and maybe outside as well. Tell her she’s That lookbeen a bad girl and tug her over your knee and spank her. Tease her with how bad she is throughout her work day by sending her texts telling her in no uncertain terms what she’s going to get when she comes home. Purchase a paddle and leave it with a red bow on the counter. You think I’m kidding? Try it. Women crave a strong hand.

You don’t have to be terrified you’re not going to please your lady. We may seem complicated but in truth, we simply love the concept of love and passion, seduction and romance. A candlelight dinner, a walk on the beach in the moonlight, a bubble bath shared together can lead to the wildabeast being let lose in the bedroom. Think I’m wrong? Bet me. Purchase some sex toys – especially one thick vibrator. The rubber piece isn’t replacing you. The delicious treat is a very powerful aphrodisiac.

So you see, gents. We really have simple needs. We long for an intelligent conversation, a wonderful night of passion and a man who can think outside the box occasionally. The rest is simply up to you. What can you think of that might surprise and entice your lady? Hmmmm… Homework gentlemen but I think you’re up to the task. Don’t you?

Kisses and spanks…



About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
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