The Art of a Hard Spanking…Holding Your Position

Let me tell you, I had no idea about the understanding of the three little words – “Hold Your Position” until I found myself unable to do so. No matter what you think, when someone is whipping your ass, back, upper thighs, etc, there is no was you can completely stay in position – at least without practice. You might tell your brain you have to be good, you may have very good intentions but trust me, your hand will fly or you’re gonna wiggle like a wildabeast. You just will. Think about it. When was the last time you were spanked? Did he place you over his knees and use his hand? Undoing his beltWhile a hard spanking with a bare ass and strong upper arm can certainly hurt, this is NOTHING like some other implements that can be used. I bet you wiggled like crazy. My guess is he had to place his hand on the small of your back at least twice, perhaps give you the “if you continue to struggle we’re going to start all over” tag line. Right? Did I peg your moment of discipline?

John Patrick is a large man – in the sense of being so darn tall. YUMMY. Being a big guy means he has brute strength (yep you can get all hot and wet ladies cause he does that to me). Now, this doesn’t mean he uses his muscular physique to whip me silly. As I’ve already told you, the man is about as controlled in his methodology of doing anything as I’ve ever seen. He’s practiced, learns, makes certain he obtains my thoughts on what’s occurred, then determines if the implement will go into his repertoire. Yes, he has one. Does that tell you how many spankings I’ve received? Let’s see, what has he currently used to date? His hand, his belt (shiver), a paddle, a wooden spoon, a flogger, another leather type strap, and oh yes – the wicked quirt. He had a duffle bag in which he houses all his rather dark and delicious toys. Oh but I digress.

I think I mentioned the actual first time he spanked me we were experimenting more than anything and we had “ears” around us. John Patrick had no idea if I was a screamer (neither did I) and truly didn’t want to hear a knock on the door that the entire hotel was um… concerned some chick was being slaughtered like a pig in the next room. So… he went pretty light in comparison to what I now know can be his intensity of spankings. He learned more of my body that night, how I mark etc. and that formulated more of what kind of disciplinarian he was going to be.

The actual first time I was punished he used his belt. The situation was such that we were in tight confines and I had to lean over a table. Now of course he didn’t whip me but so many times because he didn’t know how I’d react and in truth he hadn’t used his belt. We have some real privacy (the noise factor) so I wasn’t quite as muffled as I had been before. What I realized is that being belted is NOTHING like you think and try as I may I kept standing up, looking at him with no doubt pleading eyes, and generally wigging like a bad girl. He honestly didn’t say much at the time or push me down. He encouraged, telling me I was doing well and just a few more.

To feel my beltThe event was relationship altering for both of us. I honestly can tell you that it was at that moment I completely embraced his authority and his domination. I also respected the fact he had taken the time to know when I needed real punishment (and yes I did) and tested methodologies that he thought would be better suited – for both of us. The experience will always be one that remains in the forefront of our minds and the high we both received – amazing. Now don’t get me wrong, there are methods of inflicting pain thereby taking the person to a higher plain and in to euphoria that has nothing to do with actual punishment for disobedience. We weren’t trying to achieve that in any way, but the fact is we were both full of adrenaline for a couple of days. Hard to explain.

After that there seemed to be a bar or a certain level we’d reached and while that also has nothing to do with his need to keep me focused, the concept is a bit of a by-product. We began to explore other methods and the kind of discipline that I needed as a woman. John Patrick was truly beginning to embrace the fact he not only wanted to use spanking as punishment but as a tool to keep me focused. For women, we tend to be all over the place with our emotions and I’m actually shocked as hell that spankings keep me grounded. I think for me, the concept of maintenance spankings would help very much.

Now that he and I have been together for a while, as you can imagine many locations, positions and implements have been used. John Patrick never thought he’d actually like having me over his knee, but he does. What I’ve heard quite often now is that I need to learn to stay in position. He’s only tied me up once and that was for a rather intense session that bordered more on BDSM than punishing me for some wrong doing. I asked him whether or not the fact I don’t stay in position bothers him and if I should learn to do so. Oh, his answer is just like the man – on point. His exact quote: “Yes, I guess it bugs me in a way. But in the same way as any other command you are given. If I say stay in position then that’s what you are required to do so period. No different than anything else you are told.” Not that this needs any explanation but what I garnered out of his succinct answer is all about respect. And he’s right. Staying in position can be accomplished, the goal achieved – in time.

John Patrick is one of the most patient men I’ve ever met and in truth he has to be with me. I have foibles just like any other human and we all make mistakes, right? What I’m finding lately is that given some obstacles I have in my life, my emotional level is a big more off the chain and in truth, I’m usually a bit more even keeled. You couple this fact with the understanding I’m bold and brassy, tell it like it is and yes, I can be a bit overly dramatic and the recipe is one for… Well, needing many a hard spanking. Just how can you learn to stay in position? I honestly do believe that you have to feel in your heart and soul that you are required to do so. Taking a punishment spanking is usually a moment where you’ve mentally prepared yourself.

Spankings used as discipline aren’t supposed to be fun or erotic. They are Waiting for Sir in Denmeant to hurt. So you’re going to have to grit your teeth, close your eyes and keep your arms out or placed on the floor. You’re going to have to stop wiggling and never try and slap his hand away. Breathe, go to a place of peace and know that the spankings are for your well being. They’re also good for your husband/Dom and will be extremely beneficial for your relationship. Am I going to be perfect the next time? Hell no, especially if he uses the quirt.

The last punishment I was particularly bad and he simply used his belt. I cried and whined and wiggled and begged. He asked later why. What I figured out is that I hadn’t been prepared for a quick spanking mentally. I was in the vanilla girl headspace. I have to remember at all times – he is my Dom, the man who knows me best, and one who will spank my ass whenever he knows I need. So… I learn every day. Patience, as he tells me. UGH.

I hope you’ve enjoyed.

Kisses and spanks…


About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
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11 Responses to The Art of a Hard Spanking…Holding Your Position

  1. littleannab says:

    Reblogged this on Little Anna B (Diamond Eyes) and commented:
    Wonderfully written


  2. Zoe says:

    I really love reading about your journey (and of course your stories too). So much of what you describe I can relate to. We are working on my staying in position here too. So hard with certain implements. I hadn’t really thought it in terms of a respect issue. I think that will help me. Thanks.


    • behalle says:

      Thank you Zoe – I’m glad it might help. I really hadn’t put the respect together either. I learn something about myself and what John Patrick and I share every day. I am amazed at times how special what we are sharing is. I’m also glad you love the stories!!


  3. Cinnamon says:

    It isn’t easy staying in position… that’s for sure. It is a bonding experience. Hard to explain to others who don’t get it


    • behalle says:

      oh you’re absolutely right. I honestly never would have understood until especially the last time. Me not being able to really bothered John Patrick and we were trying to figure out why. Just caught us off guard.


      • Cinnamon says:

        I know your blog is much, much more popular than mine… so it’s a major step down, but I was wondering if you might consider a guest blog on how a punishment dynamic can bring a couple closer? I’m doing a series of guest posts and I’d be so honored if you would consider.


      • behalle says:

        My goodness, step down? That’s silly girl. I’ve looked at your blog and its incredible. I’d be honored! Just tell me when and I’ll put something together for you and I might enlist a little help from my Sir as well. Two perspectives might be interesting???


  4. Very interesting reading, thank you!
    My mind is usually all on just doing what I need to get through it; I try to get a grip on the squealing and whimpering, not because we could be overheard, that’s not an issue, but coz I kind of think that when I’m getting what I deserve then crying is trying to manipulate him into going easy on me.
    But then I translate that into squirming and moving around. I’ve never asked him what he thinks about it.



    • behalle says:

      I hadn’t really thought about asking him either and while I wasn’t surprised at his answer, I think I was surprised at how it affected me. For me I’m learning more about respect every day. I think it’ll be interesting the next time I’m spanked 🙂


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