Honor and Obey…Part III

On Being Willful

I added a subtitle to this one because I posed several questions to John Patrick and he’s teased me already about manipulating him into getting a delicious insight into his perspective – as in I know how to push all the buttons. The truth is I’m very lucky in garnering his thoughts and desires, his concerns and fears and yes, he has highlights and disappointments just like anyone does in this lifestyle. I think its valuable to hear his thoughts and I can see them and read and take them on in an entirely different fashion. What I’ve always said about myself is that I’m very willful. I tend to push against ANY machine and I do so without knowing. So I asked him to address this very concept. corsetWhat I’ve learned lately is that you have to become reflective every once in awhile, determine what’s important and what isn’t. That’s tough and I struggle very day with the vanilla girl. Drives me a bit batty. Today is one of those days – various reasons but I think it’s good. So the timing of his answers is pointed.

For me, as I learn and continue to grow, I realize I can take a step back, give up the reins but in doing so I’ve opened an entirely new territory for the woman inside. In a way I’m allowing myself to be vulnerable, show the inner girl who truly doesn’t want to be the powerful woman all the time. In being with John Patrick, I feel comfortable in giving up those reins. Yes, he’s just that dynamic of a man – let alone a Dom. He allows me to be me while guiding me toward letting go. I can’t ask for a better teacher. Will I push back? Of course I will at times, but I know those times will lessen as we continue through the journey together. Let’s see what he has to say to my questions.

As you and I both know, I’m a willful woman. What do you find as difficulties in being my Dominant and what joys?

Much of your willfulness is shown in a lack of patience when you see things are not progressing as well or as quickly as you would like them to be. Being much of the same planner as I am, you are quick to start pushing, needing to see results and having that innate tendency to believe it will only get done right if you do it yourself. I believe that when it seems that you are showing a lack of trust, all be it minor, it is more a lack of patience with not being able to fully control or have a hand in the results. When you do just let me have full control, it very much brings us closer because it shows you trust me more and are letting go.

What do you find about yourself as you move into various phases of this journey we share that is the most enlightening for you as well as the most disheartening?

The most enlightening part is taking the journey itself, exploring our desires and seeing how we both react to all the different aspects of meshing the vanilla side of life and relationship with the D/s side. The most disheartening is the fact we don’t live it 24/7 or even have enough time together to really work on the many aspects of our D/s relationship. Even when we do have time, it’s limited and difficult to transition fully from the stresses of life into the type of Dom I desire to be and have fully the type of relationship I desire.

The fine line between becoming a sadist – what do you think that is within you?

Like anything, I don’t look at becoming a Sadist as a line but rather a broad range. My BondageJust because I drive fast doesn’t make me a racecar driver or because I can cook a meal doesn’t make me a chef. Because on some level I desire and am willing to inflict pain and find a measure of pleasure in it doesn’t cause me identify as a Sadist as much as makes me someone with Sadistic tendencies. Like everything else, it is just a small part of the whole package. As we grow and push the boundaries in a controlled manner, I am becoming more comfortable and confident with trying new things and going deeper, so yes I believe more of those tendencies are within me and are waiting to be explored. To what level I can’t say.

Polyamory – how or when or could you consider this and how do you think I’d feel about this rather dynamic lifestyle?

I most certainly desire to attempt having a multi person relationship at some point. Even as we learn more about the challenges of dealing with multiple emotions, desires and attitudes, the rewards seem worth the possible issues. As we’ve talked about, you will have questions and emotions, as will I, that will need attention and understanding. But with open and real communication, I believe we can work through them and make this type of relationship work.

Mmm – a lot to think about with his answers. Now back to the story…

Sometimes you have to stop, just stop and we’ll figure it all out another day. Silence isn’t a bad thing. I promise we’ll always come back to the discussion and if something troubles you then we’ll discuss.

Well Jade wasn’t good at the game of silence, especially given the fact she talked for a living. After nearly twenty-five years in the entertainment business, she could outtalk the best of them. So being quiet? Tough as hell.

Crack!

She groaned as she positioned the skirt, giving herself a doleful look in the mirror. Oddly enough, she looked bright eyed. The bushy tailed part was more like a swollen, bruised and red ass than anything else. Shifting, she moaned as the material scraped against her naked ass. For some reason she thought wearing a thong instead of pantyhose would be a better idea. Now? As she fastened the button she sucked in her breath. The man knew how to spank. Hell, yes he did. She turned to make certain at least her ass was covered and giggled when she leaned over. She could just make out a crimson stripe from where he’d whipped her upper thighs. Fingering the welt she smiled, a cold shiver racing down her back. And to think, Chad had told her in no uncertain terms she was getting a whipping every night for two weeks. Really? Was she that willful? Yep, she was. You’re one raging bad girl. Rolling her eyes she smoothed down the front of her skirt.

She could still see the way his eyes glistened when he held the belt he was in his element, his understanding of her needs building his confidence. The night had been amazing and much more personal than she could have imagined. And LORDY the spanking hurt. She was going to have difficulty sitting down for several days. No doubt in her mind. The thought was scintillating given she was going to have to do little more than sit on her ass in several board meetings and interviews, then time on the air. Would anyone be able to see she was squirming? Would they be able to tell she had black and blue marks on her ass? Maybe… The concept was delicious indeed.

Meeting Chad had changed everything, including her outlook on life. They’d met via the Internet, having engaged in some fairly provocative conversations. One thing leading to another, a meeting over coffee and voila, he was her Dom. How exactly did this happen and when?

The thought was something she’d been toiling over for weeks. Chad knew her well, had managed to peel away the constricting mask, revealing the submissive inside. Their relationship wasn’t just about discipline but also complete submission – something they both wanted, yet she was terrified of. She shivered at the thought. Her nipples pushed hard against the thin lace of her bra and for a few seconds she contemplated grabbing a toy, one sinful vibrator. No, her sir didn’t allow her to pleasure herself without permission. A quick glance at her watch reminded her there was no time for frivolity.

She mused over the fact the bed was completely disheveled bed and grinned. Chad also knew how to fuck hard. After the spanking he’d guided her into the bedroom and proceeded to thrust his cock in from behind, taking her pussy twice, her asshole once. Purring, she brushed the tips of her fingers down the side of her neck, reveling in the satisfaction sweeping through every cell. A whipping and an incredible round of sex. What could be better?

Should she make the bed? The organized woman that she was had to have everything ‘just so’ in her life, her business and in the bedroom. Well, she was moving into a new chapter. Right? The damn bed can wait. I don’t feel like making it. A wry smile crossing her face she grabbed her purse and headed for the kitchen, every move painful indeed. Yes, she was becoming a well spanked woman. She was also hiding behind a mask and had been her entire life. Only Chad had managed to unlock Pandora’s Box. While her world wasn’t encased in conservative values, no one knew about the woman inside, the one hungering to submit in every way.

She Belongs To HimWhat if they found out? Would it matter? Would she lose ratings with her listeners, perhaps get canned from the only career she’d ever wanted? Perhaps. Her entire staff seemed to be drinking some vanilla laced Kool-Aid. Easing her hand under her skirt, she smiled as she caressed her bruised ass. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. Silence. Okay, she was going to learn.

Grabbing her phone she eyed the screen. Chad had already left her a text.

Good morning my sweet submissive. Don’t forget, seven tonight at my place. Another spanking is in order.

“Another spanking.” Chad never forgot anything. She bit her lip and tingled as she typed. Yes Sir. I won’t be late and I’m leaving for work now. Her single requirement, other than to honor and obey, was to let him know when she was leaving. As she walked out the door she sighed. Life was becoming interesting.

“I’m interviewing what exactly?” Jade asked as she gawked at the producer. The meeting room was stifling and her ass was on fire. There wasn’t a comfortable position this side of the Mississippi right now. She’d downed two diet Cokes in an effort to ease cut through the heat, but to no avail. She was merely wired and incredulous at the upcoming discussion she was supposed to have with the supposed celebrity.

“Not what, Ms. Billings but whom and do I need to remind you that your show is slipping in the ratings? Significantly?”

The entire room seemed to suck in their breath, waiting for another shoe to drop. She glared at Jake, concentrating on his wire rim glasses, comforted by the fact he was a solid six inches shorter than she was and a droll little man. Rising to her feet she glided forward, placing her hands on top of the conference table in front of him. Leaning over she knew she was giving him a bird’s eye view of her latest Victoria Secret purchase. The red lace bra was perfect for her hourglass figure and she was indeed gonna flaunt what she had in front of the nympho wannabe. “Jake, dear Jake, you do realize that my show is the only reason this station is still in operation. Don’t you?”

“Shit.”

“You go, girl.”

“The nerve.”

Hearing the comments from the peanut gallery only fueled her raucous actions. She crowded his space, keeping the seductive smile and licking her lips. For a few seconds she imagined crawling on top of the table, lowering her head and kissing his thin lips while she eased her hand to his crotch. The man wanted her. There was no denying his catty actions or the fact he’d ceremoniously pushed her into the men’s bathroom, groping her boobs at the last Holiday party. A good fuck she knew the guy needed. “Jake?”

Jake cleared his throat and his minute of defiance turned swiftly into defeat as he looked down and pushed his chair back. “You are a big draw for our station, yes.”

Relishing in the fact he was sweating like a pig she nodded, rose to her full height and crossed her arms. “Now tell me again why I’m interviewing the lead singer of Black Death?” The entire room continued to hang on every word, silence remaining. She rolled her eyes and scanned the room. “Is anyone going to tell me or do I have to guess?” The metal band was well known for being difficult to deal with and never, NEVER granting interviews.

“Um. Evidently Darth is into BDSM and he has some special contest he wants to announce.”

She heard Marcie’s voice and raised her eyebrow as she turned to face her. “BDSM? Contest? Are you kidding me?”

“That’s what the promo sheet details. Go figure,” Marcie said, a nervous tick appearing in the corner of her mouth. “But his concerts are selling out.”

“He’s about a million years old,” Jade retorted.

Shrugging, Marcy batted her eyelashes. “I think he’s hot.”

“Right.” The man was not on tops of her list, especially since they’d sparred several times during her tenure as a radio personality. “And what exactly does that have to do with my radio show or any show for that matter? Last time I checked we were into music.” Why did the information catch her off guard? Swallowing hard, Jade had no idea where this was going but suddenly her aching ass was too much of a reminder she was hiding behind a mask. Wasn’t everyone?

Jake tilted his head and swirled his pen on top of the table. “His followers are growing in number because he’s a Master Dom. Whatever he’s doing the shows are Submission isdrawing huge crowds. We’re lucky enough to be getting the interview.”

“A Master Dom?” This was more than interesting. Was Karma following her around, kicking her in the proverbial ass? Perhaps.

“Yes, and he’s ready to provide an exclusive,” Jake added, a trite look crossing his face.

“Uh-huh and why is that?”

This time Jake leaned over the table, his eyes flashing. “Because you have the highest rated show at our station and we are doing everything we can to keep it this way. Do you understand?”

Oh she wanted nothing more than to scratch his eyes out. “Touché. What time is Darth man due in?”

“This afternoon at two. Oh and Darth asked for you specially. In fact, he said no a single other radio host was acceptable period. So you will be there. Understand?”

“Fine. I’ll be there with bells on.” Great. Just what she needed, a sparring event with a man who made her skin crawl. Moving toward the door Jade knew all eyes were on her. For some reason a shiver trickled down her spine. At least her aching ass brought her comfort.

At precisely two ten she sauntered into the interview room. The show would be on later, prime time of course. Jade sighed and acted bored as she entered the room.

“The lovely Miss Jade.”

His booming voice had the usual effect on her, made her long to vomit. Instantly she sat down at the mixing board and nodded toward the seat, wincing as she scratched her welts. “Let’s get this started. I have a hell of a lot of work to do Mister…”

“Darth will do. You and I go way back. No need for formalities.” His eyes flashed.

“I’m going to ask you a series of questions. Answer. Don’t answer. That’s entirely up to you.” Jade gave him a look and waited until he donned the headphones. Immediately she launched into the interview. After ten minutes she had to admit she was intrigued. There was something enigmatic about the man, about his words and what he was doing as Master Dom. She found herself drawn in, every never ending on fire. The fact she could stomach him, even allowing herself to look underneath the false bravado he always portrayed, was amazing.

“Why do you think I selected you for the interview, Ms. Billings?”

The question caught her off guard. “Good question. Why don’t you tell me?” Jade smiled coyly. He was still a man of mystery and one not to be trusted.

Smiling, Darth moved his chair closer, his eye boring into hers. “Because my dear, you’re a submissive and I will own you one day.”

Well just a snippet today. I’m taking this one is a bit of an interesting direction so YES I’ll leave you hanging. I hope you enjoyed John Patrick’s words. Both he and I are challenged every day with vanilla interfering with D/s. I reminded him this morning I’m a woman first, a submissive second – but then again – are they any different? A topic for another blog perhaps…

Kisses and spanks.

Cassandre

About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
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