Control…On Becoming a Slave

I’ve written a lot about control with regard to D/s relationships. In my journey to learn for my writing as well as the passion and unfettered devotion I long for in a relationship, I’ve gained so much knowledge about the lifestyle. I’ve had brilliant and enlightening discussions with men and women who forge their way into D/s every day. For many submissives, they have finally found the real woman inside, a freeing of every aspect of their soul to a Dom or Master they are not only willing, but also completely ready to serve for the rest of their lives. Seeing D/s and M/s couples and the incredible moments shared gives me tingles as I write about it today.A Slave longs to feel For both parties this is about control, both in the giving and receiving. There is also a tremendous difference between submissives and slaves just as there is between Masters and Doms. There are always various degrees of every relationship, vanilla or more control and serving based. That’s because every person is completely different, our needs all a bit flavored in what we desire as well as require.

There are so many aspects to the relationship and I’ve written about several of them over the last two years. In my On Becoming His series, Luke is more of a Dom. While he wants Jessie to be a certain way for him – both in and out of the bedroom – he is willing to allow her some negotiations between what is required of her and her longings for her own life. In other words she is allowed to have some choices both at work and in her free time. In Master/slave relationships this is not the case.

I was reminded of this very aspect by a man a little over a week ago, one that surprised me on several levels. He continues to do that through our discussions. He is what I would call a true Master and the women who serve him are slaves. They live, eat, sleep, talk, don’t talk, when and how he commands. I wanted to give you a perspective I truly hadn’t gotten a full grasp of. I am still learning and listening to him, understanding his methods, his requirements. He, like so many other Masters and some Dom’s, have needs that are very unique, but there is one underlying factor with all of them – the need to control. A slave is just what it sounds like to them. They serve at the pleasure of the Master period.

For the Master, they hunger to have control over the men or women who submit to A Submissives_s Prayerthem. They have an innate desire to take charge of the submissive in all methods. I don’t think I respected or embraced the complete aspect. If you are a more vanilla laced person in your relationships as well as your life, you probably take certain aspects of the decisions you make every day for granted. You get up and take a shower, you brush your teeth and select your clothes for the day. You determine your breakfast and go to work where you make other decisions every day. You are allowed to enjoy the weekends as you would like, perhaps languishing in bed or going to see a movie. You plan vacations and how you’re going to spend time with family. You carry those decisions into work and pretty much do and say what you want, when you want as long as they are within the confines of the law. Right? Imagine just the opposite.

Answer me this – what would happen if you were no longer allowed? What if you no longer had any choices? What if you had to ask permission for everything you did including going to the bathroom? Including taking a drink of water? Would you readily say – I can give up my control? Or would you say fuck off? Hmmm… I know what you’re going to say initially, but step back and think like a true slave might. If your Master told you that he was training you, molding you into what you needed, would you change your mind?

Before you scoff, think about being able to let go completely. Imagine for a moment that you aren’t forced to make decisions, don’t have to worry about what color looks best on you. Is there some attraction? I honestly think there is for all of us. Think about the life you have right now – do you hunger to have someone take all those nasty decisions away from you if even for a day? In doing research I know that the women who submit range from strong and opinionated women to those who were born and raised as slaves. Yes, you read this right. There are women through culture and nurturing of their family right here in America who are bred to be slaves. This isn’t exactly what you think of as back in the Civil War days, but… I am learning there are similarities. I don’t want to disrespect or disparage him so allow me to be clear, this is still a free will situation in that these women desire to move into this kind of relationship. Whether born and raised or have an innate longing, they MUST have this. They are not sold (yes, there is such a thing as white slavery but that’s not what I’m talking about) but long for and search their lives to find the right Master. They may have been in vanilla relationships all their lives and search for the right person, the one that is going to free their very soul. Then they begin what they believe to be the only way they can survive – to serve at the pleasure of their Master.

I’m doing this blog as a series but it’s impossible for me as a woman or a writer to comprehend every aspect of this. I am a strong woman, one not bred for slavery, butA Sub's initiative one who has longed for a controlling situation. However, as this Master is allowing me to see into his mind, his requirements, I’m fascinated and yes more than a bit terrified. He considers himself to be a true sadist and has stated his slaves are punished every day – just because he wants to. They are given tasks that are impossible to complete and will be punished. To me that sounds like the slave will always disappoint him. That’s not his thoughts. He is a kind Master who also appreciates the knowledge his slaves are longing to obey. I was allowed to ask a couple of questions about why this is important to him. He is trying to help me understand that for him, the women serve him in any and every manner he desires. Each one is unique and trained differently. He sees them in different ways – perhaps as a domestic slave or a pain and pet slave. One aspect is very clear for every type. There is nothing period that these women can do without his permission from what they eat and drink to when they pee. While I’m fascinated I’m also terrified to hearing more and I can’t tell you exactly why.

I think perhaps its because we as humans take so much for granted. We simply do so much of what we want when we want it that the very notion of NEVER being able to is like a sucking vacuum. For me I admire the women who can do this and crave this lifestyle. I do in so many ways – as he calls it being created. I am just… Well, I rage against the machine so I don’t know if I can be recreated. But what I can tell you is that I absolutely respect this man. Do not think he is odd or weird. He is a true professional who owns companies. He is extraordinarily intelligent and witty. He is handsome in an every day kind of guy way with dashing eyes. He dresses and speak well. He is kind and giving, respectful in listening. In meeting and talking with him, the conversation was like with any other business person, except we talked about control and pain, serving and obeying and in that hour I learned more than I have in perhaps the entire two years. And I want to learn more. What does that say about me? Hmm… Part two coming later. Please ask any questions and leave comments. I’d love to hear what you think.

Kisses and spanks and thoughts…


About Cassandre Dayne

Cassandre Dayne is the pseudo for the best selling author of romantic suspense and thrillers
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