Moods. Yes, we all have them and in truth, men and women are very different in how they respond to worries, fears, joys, tears, and anguish. We just are. It’s the whole Mars vs Venus thing. As close as John Patrick and I are – and trust me what we share really is very odd as well as amazing – he’s said to me he just doesn’t get my emotional level over things he most likely wouldn’t get upset over. Then again… What I’ve realized about our relationship is that we mirror each other. We’re so much alike we like and love the same things in life and on the contrary, when either one of us is sad or disturbed, the other feels the very same emotions. That’s the mirroring effect I’m talking about.
Now, I admit – I call his various darker moods ‘brooding’ and I’ve teased him. I have NO doubt what he calls mine LOL. Recently I was very upset over a string of circumstances and he shook his head, growled, took a step back, then finally said the words ‘I don’t get why’. You know that phrase ladies. It’s kinda akin to when you purchase shoes, clothes, makeup and your significant other goes – really? Thought you had enough. You can laugh and I’m not making fun of my Sir. What my angst was and is about is far more serious than whether I purchased a pair of shoes. In fact, I’m not much of a chick in that manner. I don’t like shopping – so he has no worries there. But what I do feel emotional pain about riles me, worries him. And as soon as whatever emotional concern moves past me he spirals down.
Today was one of his spiral down days. There are some things occurring in his life he can’t control and trust me, he needs to control. For a man embracing being a true Dom for the first time in his life, control isn’t just about his life with a submissive. Eventually his need to dominate creeps into every aspect of his vanilla life. That’s exactly what’s happening with John Patrick. The two personalities are becoming more distinct, negating the need for him to control and be dominating in every aspect of his life. As you can imagine, for those who don’t know this side of him, allowing a view into the real man is terrifying. I write stories about couples going through his. In doing so I’m able to release my own personal demons of sorts, express my sadness as well as joy. For John Patrick, he has very few methods of releasing the building tension. One aspect is all about inflicting pain. Allow me to explain.
So aspects of his life, the ones he can’t control, burden him. They create stress at a brand new level. As we were talking today, he admitted he wanted to do some very dark things to me. When I say dark – he and I use this phrase to describe what many would say is deprived – I mean he had a need for serious playtime, the kind that creates anguish. What I realized when I heard him describe a particular kink he was craving, is that the release for him in whipping, clamping, commanding is something he’s never had and is uncertain of. In doling out a moment of dark kink with me, he becomes the man inside, the one able to control the situation. Notice the word ‘control’ used often? This is vital for him, now a necessity in his life, one few could provide.
What’s probably more cathartic about this is that when he experienced a moment like this last week – I recognized his downward turn and offered – suggested strongly – that he whip me. Hmm… Hard to get a grip around that isn’t it? I know he wouldn’t be doing this out of any level of rage. To be able to help him release tension I was and am willing to do. This is something he and I just begun to talk about, an oddity if you will that caught us both by surprise. How interesting that pain can bring a moment of peace. Right? Something to ponder but not anything to fear. This is about love as well as devotion to something I trust with all that I have. Now back to the story.
Time for the basement. The words reverberated in Jennifer’s ears. She swallowed hard, blinking several times as she continued to fidget in her seat. Yes, her heart was racing. You bet she was tingling all over. Her breath caught and she continued to stare at him, her body swaying back and forth in the chair. You can do this. You can do this. The mantra surprised her. She didn’t fear what her sir was commanding. She wanted nothing more than to serve him. Serve – whew the word was chilling.
“Come.” Josh didn’t flinch, remained stoic with his hand held out.
Nodding, she managed to set the wine glass down on the table, steadying the fine crystal not once but twice, before she managed to stand. Why the hell was she this freaking nervous? They’d shared some aspects of playtime before. Okay, not that many but she knew what to expect. Well, so no she didn’t. Her nerves on edge she followed him inside, cognizant of the fact her pussy was wet, clenching to the point she was panting. The actual thought of intense pain gave her this kind of reaction? “Yes sir.”
He turned to face her, his eyes twinkling. “Take off your dress.”
“What?” For some reason the request caught her off guard. She scanned the perimeter of the kitchen and living room as if someone was going to be hiding, waiting for their kinky act to begin.
“Jennifer, undress. Now.” His face was stoic, his eyes narrowed.
“Did you bring your other collar?”
She hesitated only another few seconds. “Yes sir. The collar and leash are in my bag.”
“Good girl. I’ll get them while you undress. Do you understand?”
“Yes sir.” Jesus her voice sounded like a little girls. Jennifer patted down her dress as she watched him walk toward the bedroom and moved back and forth from foot to foot. Being this nervous was ridiculous. She not only loved Josh, she trusted him implicitly. He was the only man who’d been able to give her the freedom to be the woman inside, the one that had been hiding her entire life. Now was her chance – let go, become completely free. Free. She smiled and shook her head. There was no doubt her friends and family would call her crazy, nuts for longing to serve a man. No, she wasn’t. This was…
Closing her eyes briefly she unzipped the back of her dress, maneuvering the slip of material up and over her shoulders. Her lacy bra, the very one she’d purchased from Victoria’s Secret with him in mind, was next. Kicking off her shoes she pushed them aside before folding her dress and bra, laying them gingerly on top of the dining room table. Her nipples were already hard, the anticipation of what he was going to do to them…no, what he’d promised to do with them remained in the back of her mind. She was wet and hot all over, hungry to feel his touch, his whip. His whip…
Josh sauntered back into the room. In his hand he held the collar and leash, the one he’d purchased for Valentine’s Day. The look on his face was one of clear authority. “My baby. You’re going to look incredible in this, a woman of true beauty.”
She smiled as she remembered the dazzling red bag, the one holding her leash and collar, a sterling silver ass plug and one package of red hots. The present, as well as the very moment, had been more than just special. He was always giving her little gifts, a sweet gesture of remembering her likes. The late afternoon he’d given her the gift had been defining, the beginning of an amazing rollercoaster ride. A leash and a collar – wow.
And now… Their relationship was off the charts, incredible yet utterly terrifying in the intensity. Tonight was just another jolt of wet heat. “Thank you, sir.”
Moving toward her his eyes never left hers. “Tonight I’m going to hurt you, discipline you and cause you pain. Do you understand?”
“Yes sir.” Every muscle in her body was tingling, her legs shaking as he approached.
He stopped in front, barely two inches from her, and smiled. For a few seconds he cupped her chin, brushing his thumb across her lips. “You’re so beautiful. Turn around.”
This time there was no hesitation. She turned and lifted her hair, but she was trembling. The moment he placed the thick leather collar around her neck she exhaled slowly.
“You’re going to wear this until you leave here, a reminder of your place. You belong to me. Do you understand?” He pinched her nipple, twisting the tender flesh between his fingers.
Wincing, she held in her gasps as he moved to the other hardened bud.
“You will learn to obey.”
“Yes sir.” Jennifer bit her lower lip. As he tugged the leash, tightening until she was forced to lift her head, she allowed a single moan. This was a powerful experience. For some reason a single tear slipped into the corner of her eye. She wasn’t certain why her heart was racing or her mouth was cotton dry.
Josh seemed to realize her trepidation and rubbed his hand down the length of her spine. Kissing her shoulder he bit down just once then patted her ass. “You belong to me and tonight is merely the beginning of much more with our relationship.”
“I…I know.” Gulping air she sucked in her breath when he showed her the ball gag. My God he was going to gag her. Suddenly she found it difficult to breathe, as if her air supply was constricted. This was ridiculous.
“Open your mouth.”
Jennifer closed her eyes as he placed the gag in her mouth. Instinctively she placed her hand over the thick rubber ball, sucking in her breath around the piece.
“Give me your hands,” Josh stated as he tapped her ass.
She held them out, realizing her arms were trembling. Why was she having trouble forming a coherent sentence? A short laugh bubbled from her lips. “This way, sir?”
“Behind your back.”
Oh God. Oh God. Clenching her eyes shut she eased her arms around her hips, goose bumps crisscrossing every inch of her naked skin.
She winced when the first cuff was snapped.
Josh inhaled as he gripped her arms, his fingers digging into her skin. “Tonight is going to be special for both of us.” Lowering his head he kissed the side of her neck, licking a single circle on her skin.
The subtle gesture, one of love and domination reminded her he was her Dom, a man who cared more for her than any every had. She couldn’t help but tremble as he cupped both of her ass cheeks, squeezing as he bit down on her neck again. She continued to shiver, even a moment of drool slipping past the thick red rubber as he walked around her, his hand slipping along the length of the leash.
“My sweet submissive. Come with me.” Tugging on the leash Josh gave her a look.
With her hands bounds she felt clumsy in her heels. She blinked as he walked her slowly toward the basement stairs and the shadow of darkness in front of her was both thrilling as well as disconcerting. He was in his element, his dark side firmly entrenched for the night. She wanted nothing more than to serve him, share this intense moment, but yes, she was shaking life a freaking leaf.
“Careful on the stairs,” he whispered as he led her down the tight space a stair at a time.
She had no idea what to expect, no concept of when she’d be faced with. When the basic basement, one filled with a washer and dryer, boxes stacked in the dark confines and areas of normal clutter faced her, she felt an odd comfort. This was just a basement. The scent of the damp space gave her pause, but still her nerves were on edge.
Josh kept his hand on the small of her back as he pushed her forward.
A column came into view, the structural piece one defining the open space.
“Lift your arms.”
Of course she did so and struggled to see if she could figure out what he was going to do. There were no telltale indications. Her arms were tingling as she lifted them.
What was he doing? Jennifer strained to see, another tear slipping past her eyelashes. When he clasped her to something above she cringed hearing the chain rattling. She knew he was behind her and the way he kicked her legs apart made her feel that much more vulnerable.
“I’m going to secure your legs, make certain you can’t move. Do you understand?”
Of course she could only nod, horrified a string of drool slipped past her lips. Out of the corner of her eye she could tell he was searching in his bag, the one he’d carried with him for months. The blue duffle was one he kept his toys and implements, those meant to punish and control. When he showed her the bar, the one that would spread her legs, she shuddered. This time she was turned on, hungry.
“Immobilizing you is a joy.” Josh chuckled darkly as he clamped first one ankle then moved to the other.
There was nothing more helpless than the feeling she had and yet there was total exhilaration. She…was…his…
The sound of metal hitting metal was scintillating as well as terrifying. Jennifer struggled to breathe, knowing in her struggle she was constricting her own breathing.
Where was he going? She darted a look to the left, following his footsteps and watched as he yanked open a drawer. When he lit a candle and moved around to the table on the opposite side she struggled with her bindings.
Josh said nothing, merely lit the candle and moved past her.
The sound of his footsteps moving up the stairs was chilling.
Then the light was turned off.
Ooohhhh what do you think? A little terrifying? Remember – she trusts him completely. I hope you enjoyed.
Kisses and spanks